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Skeleton Offline
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I can't anymore. - September 30th 2009, 08:50 PM

I'm really struggling at the moment, I'm unbelievably frustrated and the only thing stopping me from cutting is the fact that I don't know where to do it so that no-one will see but I know that I'm getting closer and closer to saying "fuck it" and going ahead with it, not giving a shit where, who sees or anything because I don't know how else to cope with this.

My main reason for feeling this way is my family. I can't stand them at all and I'm always dying to have an excuse to leave the house just to get away from them. If it isn't one thing, it's another and I don't think they realise how much it's getting to me, if I told them they wouldn't care because in their eyes, everything I do is just stupid and pathetic and they just yell at me rather then care. An example would be, them seeing my last cuts and yelling at me for being a "stupid girl" rather then caring as to why I did it and asking if I was okay. At the moment, my only escape is going out and even that has been limited to certain days just so I can get home because they refuse to taxi me around even though I've offered to do whatever I can to make it better. Now with that, it's even getting to the point where I'm considering just walking out regardless of whether I'll be able to get back or not because it's the only time I can honestly say that I feel happy before I come back to the reality of how shit things are here and go back to feeling this upset.

I don't know what to do. I feel I have no-one to talk to, I'm too scared to even consider counselling again which pretty much leaves me with nothing and I fear I'm about to just go crazy for lack of a better term.
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Jovial. Offline
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Re: I can't anymore. - September 30th 2009, 09:20 PM

Hello there :]

I can see that your having a bit of a difficult time right now, but please do not resort to harming yourself, there has got to be another way even if it means leaving your house for a while. do you have a friend to stay with, a close relative anything. Please I dont want you to hurt yourself and I know Ive never meet you but my policy is everyone is my friend and I care about everyone. Please try to find something that will disract listen to music something.
Good luck.
If you would like to talk more in depth feel free to pm ok?

I don't care if the world knows what my secrets are
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Re: I can't anymore. - September 30th 2009, 09:25 PM

hi sweetie
keep strong. i totally understand, families suck. and while you may not agree with them, just be strong. they do care, theyre probably just more shocked you would cut than anything. but try not to cut because a cleaner life always feels better anyways. you dont want to get to dependent on it! PM me if you ever need to talk, i'm here.
be true, be you.
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Skeleton Offline
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Re: I can't anymore. - September 30th 2009, 10:11 PM

I can't move in with anyone. My other family, I can't stand either plus I couldn't move in with my friends as they don't live near the places I go to so it'll be a struggle to get college and I'd doubt they'd like me being there all the time. I know that I shouldn't, I normally forget about it after a while but it's just not going anywhere. Every second around them makes everything a million times worse and I can't help but act off with everyone as well as short tempered which brings up 20 questions as to why I'm acting that way which just makes me act even more off. I can't stand it at all and the worse part of all this is, I just don't trust myself at all. Every possible thing I could to take this frustration out on myself, I'm considering right now and it's horrible to be sitting there thinking it all.

I'm trying not to and I'm trying to stay strong, think positive and whatever else but it's hard at times like these.
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