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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Unhappy Sick of this. - October 2nd 2009, 02:21 AM

I'm so sick of this. I'm sick of feeling like my world is crashing in. It is and there's nothing I can do about it. Absolutely nothing. I hate my life. No, I'm not going to kill myself. Life's to short to end it. But the knife on the shelf next to my mirror has never shined as brightly as it does right now. I hate this. I hate hating this. I hate the fact that I feel like there's nothing I can do to make my life better.


“I can only hope that they’ll turn that anger and frustration and madness into something positive, so that two, three, four, five hundred will step forward, so the gay doctors will come out, the gay lawyers, the gay judges, gay bankers, gay architects … I hope that every professional gay will say ‘enough’, come forward and tell everybody, wear a sign, let the world know. Maybe that will help.” Harvey Milk, 1978

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Re: Sick of this. - October 2nd 2009, 11:43 AM

Hey Bridget!

I'm really sorry you're going through so much right now! I know it must be so tough to have to handle all of this. I'm extremely glad to see that you realize how precious life is, hold onto to feeling, okay? Everything seems bad right now, but I promise things can and will get better for you. It's going to take a lot of time and patience, but you can get through this.

You don't need that knife, Bridget. It's not going to make any of this better, you know that, right? All it does is cause you so much more stress and pain, you deserve way better than that! Resist it, Bridget, because it certainly won't help you make your life better. It will only set you backwards, actually. Let go of it and move forward. You can do this. It's tempting, I understand that, but you just have to resist the temptation. Have you seen our alternatives thread? If you haven't (or even if you have, but need to see it again) then here it is: Alternatives To Self Harm

I'm not sure if you already have somebody in your life that you can talk to, but if not, I would recommend you reach out to somebody. Be it a parent, sibling, teacher, school counselor, just anybody who you feel you can trust. Because you need a support system in order to figure this out. Because you will figure this out, and you will go on to have a very happy life, I'm sure of it. Get out a piece of paper, and write down a few (or a lot of!) goals for yourself. They can be anything you wish to achieve. Or head over here and tell us all your goals! Hopefully it will help keep your focus and give you a purpose to work on.

It's going to be okay, Bridget, honestly. You can work through this. Just keep your head held high. I'm only a PM away anytime you need to talk. Stay strong, you're doing so well. <3
   
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Re: Sick of this. - October 3rd 2009, 11:21 PM

Hi Bridget,

I'm really glad you posted here :] If only so I could say that I completely 100% understand how your feeling, I'm sure that in the past I've posted pretty much the exact same words. Like Nicola said it's great that your hanging on. Thats the first step to feeling better. This will take patience and there are gonna be those times where you are filled with hate and just don't know what to do but you have to sit through those times distract yourself and the feeling will pass. It will probably, most definitely, come back but the more it does the more you can cope.

It is hard to find out how we can improve our situation but sometimes it's the simplest things that can help like watching a funny film, talking to your friends or treating yourself. Seems pointless doesn't it? Bet your thinking that its not going to help. I know I think that sometimes but doing these things actually does make you feel better.

You don't need that knife, sure it feels like you do, but you don't. It won't make your situation change in the long run. Life is hard to work out sometimes and its hard to know where to go next or how we can control things. But hurting yourself won't help you figure out how to change your life.

I hope this helps. PM me if you ever need anyone.

Faye x


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Re: Sick of this. - October 5th 2009, 02:52 AM

thanks guys. Those were both really encouraging, but honestly, I really don't think things will get any better.


“I can only hope that they’ll turn that anger and frustration and madness into something positive, so that two, three, four, five hundred will step forward, so the gay doctors will come out, the gay lawyers, the gay judges, gay bankers, gay architects … I hope that every professional gay will say ‘enough’, come forward and tell everybody, wear a sign, let the world know. Maybe that will help.” Harvey Milk, 1978

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Re: Sick of this. - October 5th 2009, 06:53 AM

Hey Bridget-

It's amazing that you see that life is too short to end. Just being able to see that is an accomplishment in itself. And you are truly somewhere in your life that isn't an entirely bad place.

Why do you think things won't ever get better? They will. I promise you they will. No, they don't always for everyone. But I can tell you want to get better, or you wouldn't be posting here. You wouldn't ask for help. And you will feel better. Someday you'll not want to self harm. Right now, this isn't your day. But your day will come, and I promise you that much.

What can you do to help yourself see that things will get better? If you've at least logically got that things can't stay like this forever, you're off to a good start. By the way you're not suicidal I'm going to take a wild guess that you do logically think things have to get better, even if you don't believe yourself. So what's holding you back from believing that? What would hold you back from getting better?

Write down all the things you like in life. While you're supposed to do this when you're suicidal, the point of it is to see how there are good things, and things will get better, which I think is what you need to see right now.

Best of luck, I'm here to talk if there is anything else I can do - just ask.
Maria.



The best wayout is always through~
-Robert Frost

Proud member of the LGBT community.

   
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Re: Sick of this. - October 5th 2009, 11:45 PM

I gave in yesterday. I was so ashamed that I threw away my knife today.


“I can only hope that they’ll turn that anger and frustration and madness into something positive, so that two, three, four, five hundred will step forward, so the gay doctors will come out, the gay lawyers, the gay judges, gay bankers, gay architects … I hope that every professional gay will say ‘enough’, come forward and tell everybody, wear a sign, let the world know. Maybe that will help.” Harvey Milk, 1978

http://amanoutofyou.tumblr.com
   
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