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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Thatonecutechic Offline
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Unhappy Relapsing in the worst way.... - October 2nd 2009, 12:23 PM

Ok so I never talk about my self harm problms b/c there is no one to talk to but I have decided that I need help from people that have been there not friends that don't know anything about it...
I used to cut when I was 15 until I was about 17 on my 18th birthday I stopped b/c I decided it was time for me to start living a different life and loving myself... but recently I had a huge fight with my mom and she told me ''I don't care about you anymore'' and personally it didn't hurt me b/c I was waiting for her to say it. So I relapsed b/c I have to move out and i'm stressed with ollege and ugh....and in one night I cut over 10 times and all but one was on my stomach... The one thing I fear the most is telling my boyfriend we are still in the getting to know each other stage and he doesn't understand why I don't wear bathing suits and gets mad when I tell him he will know in time... so idk I am just hoping that someone could help me a bit
   
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Re: Relapsing in the worst way.... - October 2nd 2009, 09:32 PM

Hi,
I am sure your mum was upset when she said those things, deep down i am sure she loves you. I understand the temptation when theres a stressful situation, try looking in the Alternatives To Self Harm thread. I think deciding you dont need to cut and learning to love yourself is a great thing and i will do my best to support you any way i can but i also think that maybe you should also talk to someone around you that can support you face to face. there may be times you do relapse but keep sticking to it and you can overcome these feelings and be able to love yourself. you mentioned you were in collage and maybe there is a counsellor there that you can talk to about it aswell. stay strong and pm me if you need to chat.
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Re: Relapsing in the worst way.... - October 3rd 2009, 05:06 PM

Hey,

I am sorry that you are going through all of this. Sometimes people close to us say really horrible things, which can be so hurtful. But it doesn't mean what they say is true. You were in the middle of an arguement and in situations like that sometimes people say things that they don't mean. I don't know whether your mum meant it or not but she may have just said it without thinking because you were in the middle of a fight.

You say about college stressing you out. Is there a teacher there you could talk to? Just talking to someone could really help and they may be able to help you feel less stressed.

It is a big step to tell your boyfriend about your self harm. Only you can decide when the time is right to do that. Perhaps once you have got to know each other more you might feel more comfortable telling him about it. If he truely cares about you then he should be supportive and there for you no matter what.

I am always here if you want to chat. Never be alone! Stay strong
   
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Re: Relapsing in the worst way.... - October 5th 2009, 06:58 AM

Heya!

I'm sorry you're in such a hard place right now. It is a lot to take on, to move out and find your own place. Even simply getting in a fight is a huge deal. And even if it didn't affect you that much, having your own mother tell you she doesn't care about you anymore, is a big deal. I know that would hurt me.

You self harmed, yeah. Relapse happens. Are you going to keep doing that? This is your decision. Maybe right now you're going to begin self harming again. But you have the choice to tell yourself to stop again as well. Decide now what you want, what's best for you. No one but you can make that decision.

I can honestly remember the first time I took off my hoodie in front of someone after I had starting self harming. And it was one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life. Jumping in and telling your boyfriend you used to self harm is not something you need to do if you're in the "getting to know each other" stage. You can of course, and it might be better to now so that's out on the table. Get him information on it, and explain you don't do it regularly anymore but you want his support and don't want him to talk down on you about it. Sit down and be ready to have a full conversation about it. Don't do it right as he's dropping you back off at your house or something.

I hope you're safe! Let me know if there's anything else I can do to help.
Maria.



The best wayout is always through~
-Robert Frost

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