question...

[meganlzbth]

hi to anyone who reads this...

i'm in a creative writing class at my high school, and my next project is to write a dialogue between two characters that involves some kind of conflict. i've been tossing around a lot of ideas, but one that i seem to come back to is the idea of self harm. i want to have one character who starts cutting as a way to escape emotional issue she's dealing with at home, etc. i personally do not cut, and i'm really not trying to like, sound ignorant here or anything. i was just wondering if some of you who do cut could kind of tell me why you do. like, what lead to you starting it? why do you keep doing it? what are the emotional effects of the physical pain, and does it do for emotional pain? what kind of thoughts go through your head when you cut? again, i'm not trying to sound ignorant or anything, i was just curious as to reasons why some people cut. i want to try to make my character as realistic as possible, and thought that this might be a good way to sort of get into the mind of my character...

[Thirteen]

Uhm, I guess I do it because I want to punish myself. For many things wrong.

Others on here have said things like the pain helps them feel something when they're numb, or they like the sight of the blood, many things.

Perhaps look around the threads a bit?

[Nomophobia]

Harming is a release of the internal pain. It turns emotional pain into physical pain because it is often easier to deal with-you can clean a wound and watch it heal, whereas you can't with emotional pain.
When I cut, my mind goes pretty blank, I feel free and calm. Then after I often feel guilty and ashamed.
People carry on with it because it often becomes an addiction, and you carry on because it helps and its hard to find other things that give the same release.
hope that helps!

[Thirteen]

It becomes addictive usually because of things like the endorphins released that temporarily make everything better for a brief moment. But then it's worse afterwards.

[meganlzbth]

Originally Posted by ☣ ArcAngel ☣

It becomes addictive usually because of things like the endorphins released that temporarily make everything better for a brief moment. But then it's worse afterwards.

why is it worse afterwards? i mean, i can understand the endorphins and numbness, but what type of things go through your mind after that makes it worse? is it just shame or embarrassment? something more?

[WaitingForTheTearsToDry]

well, i cut because of control and the release, but more for the control, i cant control anything else that happens in my life so in a way it's all i really have. After i do it i sometimes feel...guilty maybe. what goes through my mind is my friends. i know they wont understand but they will eventually find out, iv'e been cutting for 5 years it's gonna come out.

Oh and by the way i don't thing you sound ignorant, you're just curious and want to learn about this.

[Alex xox]

i dont cut but i do SH and it is like a visious circle you do it you feel better you feel guilty/ashamed/embarased then SH again to get rid of the feeling and i do it to a) let it show im hurting inside and b)for a few seconds or however long it is ifeel sooo much better


hole this helps!!
Alex

[Thirteen]

Originally Posted by meganlzbth

why is it worse afterwards? i mean, i can understand the endorphins and numbness, but what type of things go through your mind after that makes it worse? is it just shame or embarrassment? something more?

Well, not only the fact that personally, I feel like an idiot for using such as a coping device, but also as said, the guilt, the embarrassment, the marks/scars, all that.

[meganlzbth]

thanks guys :]
this helps a lot and i appreciate you taking the time to explain a little bit

[xox-Madison-xox]

i cut because i like the feeling .. i cant describe it .. it makes me feel alive and distracts me from thoughts in my head .. after im done i love nursing the wound and taking care of it and trying to make it better .. when im in school i take a peek up my sleeve and see the cut and im proud of it but when i talk to my doctor or any one about it im ashamed of it .. after it heals i just want to start over again ..

[xGinsx]

I have no idea why I started cutting, it was sort of an impulse decision. I continued though, because depression made me feel so empty inside (amybe this is why I started), like i had absolutely no emotion. I couldn't stand the pain of feeling nothing (does that make sense?), so the pain from cutting came as a relief. The answers for the rest of the questions are basically the same as what everyone else has been saying.

By the way, you don't sound ignorant

[meganlzbth]

Originally Posted by xGinsx

I have no idea why I started cutting, it was sort of an impulse decision. I continued though, because depression made me feel so empty inside (amybe this is why I started), like i had absolutely no emotion. I couldn't stand the pain of feeling nothing (does that make sense?), so the pain from cutting came as a relief. The answers for the rest of the questions are basically the same as what everyone else has been saying.

By the way, you don't sound ignorant

no, that does make sense, so it's like an escape from emptiness?

[Stephanie]

Hey there Meg!

You don't sound ignorant at all - it's good that you're trying to understand self harm and it is quite a complex behaviour.

People hurt themselves for many different reasons, as you'll find out.

Personally, I cut myself as a distraction from emotional pain. When I hurt myself, I have to concentrate on the physical pain rather than what I'm feeling emotionally, which is a relief to me. That pain makes me feel good because of the endorphins that're released. Afterwards, I may feel guilty for hurting myself as it's not a healthy thing to do/people would be disappointed. Due to this feeling of guilt, I get upset and therefore to release that emotional pain, I'd want to hurt myself again.

I hope that this helps.

[xGinsx]

Originally Posted by meganlzbth

no, that does make sense, so it's like an escape from emptiness?

yeah, basically.