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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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marina1494 Offline
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Thumbs down eeeep - February 4th 2009, 06:42 PM

my bestie told me that he has been sltting his wirsts and idk wat 2 do, its all over this girl. and ik he loves her but idk gow to stop him.

i absolutley love him and i want him to stop but idk how.
   
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Re: eeeep - February 4th 2009, 07:01 PM

There isn't really much you can do. Be there for your friend when he needs you and make sure he knows that you are there to support him. You should probably consider telling someone you trust that he is self harming; a teacher or a counselor.


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Re: eeeep - February 4th 2009, 07:11 PM

she is right. you have very little controll over someone else self harming or not.

the main thing is that you are there for him to help him through this and that he know you are.


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Re: eeeep - February 4th 2009, 07:26 PM

just remember (as has been said) it's not your fault if he stops or continues with it, the only thing you can do is keep being his friend and refer him to someone who's qualified to help him. Going behind his back or straight up talking to him, whichever you think will work but your work is done beyond being his friend so try not to worry. just listen to him. <3
   
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Re: eeeep - February 7th 2009, 07:30 PM

Like others have said, you cannot stop him. He has to make the decision to stop on his own.


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Re: eeeep - February 7th 2009, 10:15 PM

Hi,

As the others have said, your friend has to make the decision to stop on his own. Supporting him while he's going through a rough time and encouraging him to stop hurting himself is lovely, but forcing him into stopping may just push him away and that's probably the last thing you want to do. It doesn't take long for self-harm to become an addiction; quitting isn't easy. It does take time, and patience.

Be supportive, and let him know you're there for him. If he's hurting himself over a girl, talk with him about it. Help him figure out ways to keep from SH'ing, and let him know he can come to you if he needs to talk. You can't stop his cutting for him, but sometimes knowing there's someone who cares is the biggest help of all.

Talk with a teacher or guidance counselor at your school if you don't think he's going to stop or if you're worried he's a danger to himself - it's always better safe than sorry, you know?

Take care.



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Re: eeeep - February 8th 2009, 03:14 AM

I think the best thing you can do right now is talk to an adult like your parents, school counselor, or a teacher. They can get him the professional help that he needs. And you can still be there for him when he needs a friend to talk to, just someone to listen. Let him know that you are there for him and he can always contact. I would also maybe print out our Alternatives to Self Harm for him and just let him know that there are other things that he can do to destress then hurt himself.




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Re: eeeep - February 9th 2009, 07:42 PM

Does he know about this site? would he come on it?
Yeah, if he is putting himself in danger then someone responsible should really know about it. I'm not saying that he will see it as an act of love that u tell someone - i mean in the past i would have been mortified (and have been actually) if some adult suddenly knew about it and talked to me about it.

You are being a very good friend, remember that. it's obvious you care about him v much and i hope he's aware how much he's loved - that may help him too.

All the best
Tracy x
   
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