don't know what do to

[nakushita]

ok long story sorta short: i've been cutting for about nine months but am now on anti-depressants and seeing a therapist and can now go 2 to three months without cutting at a time (that's the good part). my best friend/boy friend has bipolar disorder and is also depressed and used to be very suicidal. we love each other and i've never cared for anyone the way i do for him and we've been in a serious relationship for about 2 and a half years. he's gotten in trouble with his parents and they've pretty much grounded him and he thinks they'll take away his phone. we txt constantly and that's usually how i get a hold of him when i get really tempted by cutting. i now that my dad has razors in his tool shed and i'm really scared i'm gonna cut and then he's gonna blame himself and spiral into a really depressive episode (which will be my fault). i can't take this much longer....

[chelsealyn3994]

Being in therapy is the most helpful thing, even when it seems like it's not doing anything. I've been seeing my therapist for about a year now, and she has really helped me control my urges for when I want to cut. When I feel the urge, or I have a flashback of something.. I've learned to feel in the moment. I open my eyes and tell myself in my head what I see, like my curtains and door. What I smell, think, feel, stuff like that. It doesn't take the urge away, it just allows me to be in control of my options. Everything we do is a choice. From the moment you're born until the moment you die. Everything you do in your life is represented by the choices we make. So if you know your dad has razors, don't let them intimidate you. Think of what your boyfriend would tell you, how much he'd support you and how much he loves you.

[*Jen*]

Hey,

I think it is really good that you are on medication and receiving therapy. Those are great steps to take in order to get better. Going 3 months without self harm is pretty amazing as well! Hopefully in time you will get to a point where you can stop self harming all together. Therapy should help you with that so you should definitely stick with that.

You do have control over whether you cut yourself. Your boyfriend obviously cares and loves you loads so I think he would be upset if you self harmed. I know it is difficult without having him there for support when you need him but you have to think back to what he would say. Stay strong