I'm new and struggling..

[amdisvampyre]

Ok, so I'm new to the site but I really need help.
For about a year now I have been addicted to self harm. It started off quite innocent, not breaking the skin but it eventually got worse. I don't seem to have many physical problems. Its all in my mind. I HATE myself. Pure hatred. I'm paranoid no thanks to some awful girls at my school. Somehow lots of people found out what I was doing and now I get things said to me all the time. You know, the usual "EMO SLUT" etc.
So now, I can't trust anyone. Not even my true friends. I just assume EVERYONE is going to hurt me. I also worry about things excessively. I could go on but I'd be here forever! I guess everything just kind of gets on top of eachother and things become unbearable. I'm lucky though. I'm very close to my english teacher. She's young and cool and takes the time to listen to me. She is risking a lot by not calling my parents in and I'm so greatful but I still can't stop. Not even for her. Any advice?

[duckiedancer]

First off, Welcome to this site. It is extremely helpful and has personally benifited me. I hope you like it.
That is really good that you can talk to your english teacher. As for the names, this is extremely hard to do, but just ignore them. (I am an extreme perfectionist and know what it is like for someone to say something mean to you. And then you let it eat away at you, but don't let it. Just think of them as mean, ignorant people that don't care about others, just themselves.)
For your extreme low self-esteem, I suggest you perhaps do a makeover upon yourself. Like one day for school: wear your favorite outfit, do something fun with your hair, do your nails, and put on makeup. If you aren't that type of person: just think of what the good things are, I bet there is something you like about yourself.
I know what it's like to not be able to trust anyone, but once you tell one person, they may be able to help you. But as you said it you think they are going to hurt you, talk to your parents. As scary as that might sound, they most likely will understand. By telling your parents, they could help you.
Please stop cutting, there are alternatives, that get rid of that one feeling, but there is no regret after them. Here is a link with alternatives: http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-s...ves-self-harm/
Good luck and you WILL get out of this.
Private message (PM) me anytime. (if you haven't figured out how to do that, click on my name and go to my page and send me a message)

[*Jen*]

Hey,

Firstly, welcome to Teenhelp. I hope you like it here and are able to get the support you need. If you ever need anything at all then my PM box is always open anytime!

The girls at your school sound horrible. But don't listen to what they say because they are not worth your time. They obviously don't understand self harm so I wouldn't take anything they say personally. People who don't understand self harm can be so judgemental but you have to remember that is down to their lack of understanding.

Not everyone will betray your trust though. But I can understand why you would think that when people have hurt you before. There are some people that are worth trusting though but maybe it is just about not trusting people too easily and building up that trust gradually. It is good you have been talking to your english teacher and I think you should carry on talking to her because she sounds helpful.

Stay strong.

[Nomophobia]

Hey, the other guys have welcomed you for me
Sorry to hear you are having a rough time, I can really relate to trust issues! If you keep talking to your teacher then it will help build your trust tho, she will be able to help you. I know that there is more motivation to stop for someone you care about, but what you really need to do is stop for yourself. Thats when you will find that you can beat this.
If you need anything PM me xxx
Keep fighting!