Anger

[Thomas_TGT]

Sometimes, I hurt myself in anger.

I don't cut. My self harm is fits of rage. There are some times where I get so angry, I just self destruct. I pound tables, I punch walls, I'll bash my head against a wall, pull my hair, or slap myself.

More than once, I've put my arm right through a wall. I've bruised my knuckles denting lockers. I cut my head open by pounding it against walls before.

Before this, I used to hurt others. I'd purposely anger other people enough to fight me so that I could kick the sh*t out of them. I realized how wrong that was and turned that anger upon myself.

There was a point where I was good. I was happy with myself, I could control my anger. A recent relationship caused me to relapse. The girl angered me to the point where I would break things, pull my hair, and punch walls/floor/anything nearby. Now I can barely control myself. I get so angry that I feel light-headed, almost on the verge of passing out. I've felt like throwing up I've been so mad.

How can I stop this? I'm running out of excuses for the bruises and the holes in the walls.