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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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AmiFey Offline
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It's Too Much - December 27th 2010, 03:31 PM

It's all too much. Three of my friends admitted recently cutting to me. One of them continues to do it (and the other day she did it really deep, and I got really, really worried and freaked out cuz she's kinda my girlfriend ;x; ) and I don't completely know about the other two. I feel like it's my fault because I had been bringing up cutting to all of them at some point or another before they started doing it. I don't feel like I can turn to them for help anymore with my self-injuring because I don't want to trigger them.. And the only other friend I would turn to used to cut, and I know how much she still struggles to not give in to her urges, so I can't ask her for help either. I'm doing it every day again.. I don't know how (or even if I want) to stop myself. I hate being such a whimp.. I can't handle anything on my own anymore.

Last edited by AmiFey; December 28th 2010 at 03:03 AM.
   
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Re: It's Too Much - December 27th 2010, 05:46 PM

If the girl who cut really deep is your girlfriend, you're likely to know whenever she cuts, right?
I'd suggest doing what me and a couple friends did: Create a pact.
The pact was like this: No cutting, at all, and if one of them breaks it, all break it. Basically, the desire to SH is opposed by the desire that the people you love don't SH. It's actually been effective.
I know that you feel like it's your fault that your friends started cutting, I felt the same exact way after my girlfriend tried, and my two best friends started (they are who I formed the pact with) but eventually I realized that the keys were already in their hands - we've all heard about or seen cutting in friends, the media, etc, if somebody is down enough to want to cut for the first time they are going to, it doesn't mean they cut because you did.

PM me if you want to talk, hope I helped a little


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Re: It's Too Much - December 28th 2010, 03:16 AM

Hey Katie,
It sounds like you've got a lot going on in your life right now, and I think you're starting to realize now that it's way too much for you to handle. I really encourage you to talk to either a trusted adult, doctor, or school guidance counselor. You do not have to go through any of this alone, and it's not fair to you to be trying to deal with your problems as well as helping your friends who are struggling. Asking for help may seem like a pretty scare step, but you deserve to be happy and healthy. Getting help from someone who is trained and educated in supporting someone in a situation like yours is really important.

As much as you want to help and be there for your friends, you know it's too much for you to handle. So try and encourage them to go to a couselor as well. Going together is an option as well, if you're afraid to do it alone.

I don't recommend making a pact with your friends. While it may work for some people, I think it's way too much pressure to put on each other, and recieving help from a trained professional is a much better way to work through your struggles.

I'm not sure if you've seen this thread of Alternatives, but i'll leave the link here for you anyways. If you have urges to self harm, try to find something on the list that can distract you. You may even want to print the list out for your friends as well. (Alternatives to Self Harm Thread)

I really hope you reach out for help. You don't need to handle everything on your own. Good luck, and take care. :]


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Re: It's Too Much - December 28th 2010, 11:51 AM

Hi Katie,
I think what moyshi239 said above is good advice. I think it would be helpful for you to turn to a trusted adult for help, I've been in that situation before and couldn't handle it on my own, I talked to my therapist about it and she helped me figure out that I couldn't try to fix everyone elses problems while mine were so bad and that it wasn't my responsabililty. I don't know if you have a therapist but you can always go to a school counselor. It might also be helpful for all of you to go together. In the mean time that alternatives thread could be very helpful for you and your friends. I do not think that the pact thing is a very good idea it puts way to much responsibility on all of you and then if one person does SH is like it's giving everyone else permission to SH and I really don't feel that it would help any of you to stop. I hope this was helpful. If you ever need to talk feel free to PM me.


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