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Katley Offline
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I Hate This. I hate labels. I hate hiding:P - February 17th 2011, 04:24 AM

GR GR GR GR GR! okay, so anyway... Ive been working on stopping cutting. Working really hard. But anyway, i realized that even if i stopped none if this is EVER going to go away, some of these scars will NEVER go away.... and i just HATE that my past is going to be marked forever and IM GOING TO BE FRICKIN LABELED FOREVER. i mean... COME ON. People are always going to say HEY you cut urself!!

my friend today (not knowing i cut) started saying: Cutters are disgusting. if someone cuts i mean seriously they shouldnt be my friend. Its OUTRIGHT GROSS.
...I wanted to kill him. I dont feel disgusting.. i dont feel like a terrible person... but in other peoples eyes... just cause i cut... im suddenly... lesser. And i can't take it back

All i want to do is say OOPS *erase*. But thats impossible. I hate this. I hate who ive turned out to be. Everyone thinks im a happy carefree life-loving girl, and for a long time... that was true. And now... its all a charade.

So what can I do? i know theres nothing. I can cry. I can stop. Past is marked forever. FML.


Just rise above this
Kill them with your kindness
Ignorance is blindness
They're the ones that stand to lose

'Cause they don't even know you
All they see is SCARS
They don't see the ANGEL
Living in your heart
   
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Jaden89 Offline
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Re: I Hate This. I hate labels. I hate hiding:P - February 17th 2011, 05:10 AM

First I would like to say that you are not disgusting.

Second, being able to stop is a great experience and gives us a sense of self-confidence and relief, while the scars may be there to remind us, think of it this way. It's a reminder that you have made mistakes in life but everyone does it and you were able to make it past those mistakes.

Also, it is not necessarily fact that the scars will stay. Out of numerous scars from past SH I only have one scare to show for it from when I slipped when cutting and sliced my calf wide open. That, was an accident. There are also ways to fade and even eliminate scars so they aren't always forever.

The fact that you do these things does not make you a bad person at all. As for dealing with your friend it would be a good idea to sit down and talk to him. Explain that you were really upset by his comment because you've made some mistakes in life and cutting was one of them. If your friend is not understanding of this then it sounds to me like it's time to look for some better friends. I don't say that to sound harsh but a friend who cannot be supportive and condems you because of something like this isn't the greatest friend to have.


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Re: I Hate This. I hate labels. I hate hiding:P - February 17th 2011, 07:08 AM

Exactly. I agree. Just explain to him how you feel and felt.
And you are NOT gross or disgusting. I don't even know you, but I know that.
People at my school are the same way about cutters. I know exactly what you mean when you say that. I've just learned don't say anything to them about it that will only make them even more ugly about it.

As for the scars, technically, there are ways to get rid of them. But honestly if someone ever said "hey you cut yourself" just because of a scar. Most people are hipocrits (sp?) about that kinda crap. I can tell you that most people have probably thought about cutting themselves or have at least once.

So, don't listen to their labels..
I know this is probably cheesy advice, but I hope I helped.



A beautiful thing is never perfect.

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Katley Offline
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Re: I Hate This. I hate labels. I hate hiding:P - February 17th 2011, 12:32 PM

Actually you guys did. I told my friend, and he was sorta dumbfounded. It was kinda funny, actually, in a way. I then said: well since you think i am disgusting, and dont want to be my friend, i should go now. He told me that "I was an exception" :P im gonna work with him on that, cause alot of my friends cut and they are NOT disgusting.

Thanks And for the stuff about scars etc... Im glad theres a chance they wont stay forever, and if they do, ur right its a problem and a trial and it proves i am strong to be able to get past it.


Just rise above this
Kill them with your kindness
Ignorance is blindness
They're the ones that stand to lose

'Cause they don't even know you
All they see is SCARS
They don't see the ANGEL
Living in your heart
   
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