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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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my dream and the day after - March 26th 2011, 12:32 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

so a few nights ago i had this really weird dream and i kept thinking about it the following day cause it really scared me.

in my dream i was in one of the bathrooms in school and in the mirror there was a drawing of a girl crying blood and she had cut her wrists and they were bleeding too. the drawing was moving but there was no one else in the bathroom except for me. beside the mirror there was something written in blood. i can't remember what it was.

in my dream, none of that was really there. i had this weird paranoia thing that made me hallucinate. next thing i knew, i was after cutting my wrist really badly. the cut went the whole way across my wrist and it was really wide and really deep. i could see all the muscle in my wrist and the blood was pouring out of it. then i started to write the thing on the wall beside the mirror in my own blood and then i collapsed to the ground and i think i died.

could my dream have been a sign?

the next day i was in art class and my friend had to disassemble a box for the project we're starting next. the box was too strong to use a scissors on so the teacher gave her a craft knife to use. i was sitting beside my friend in class and the teacher came down to give her the knife. the teacher started explaining to her that she had to be really careful with it because it was sharp enough to cut her hand off. i was really tempted to tell the teacher to stop talking about it because my eyes were already fixed on the knife and i had such an urge to grab it and run to the bathroom.

my friend started to disassemble the box and she had a few close calls because she wasn't careful enough. she nearly cut her throat with it. and then it fell off the table and nearly hit my foot. every time she placed it back down on the table the blade part would always be facing me. it was so tempting to just take it. halfway through the class i just couldn't resist it so i picked it up and was just about to start cutting the piece of tracing paper i had on my table when i realised that i was holding it upside down. i nearly cut my finger. i put it back down on the table and barely touched it for the rest of the class.

me and my friend were really hyper so we started messing, talking about the knife. she doesn't know that i'm trying to stop cutting. she doesn't know that i have cut. i told her about my mother taking my blade off me and about how i think she threw it out. i was so tempted to tell her about my cutting but i know what she thinks about people that cut so i didn't tell her.

sorry this is so long. i just had to get it off my chest
thanks for reading




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Re: my dream and the day after - March 26th 2011, 03:37 PM

Hey Celine,
I'm not sure what everything in your dream means and I'm not going to read into things too much and pretend I know. I do know this much though for certain: dreams are made up of thoughts from your subconcious. Your thoughts about cutting are an integral part of your subconcious right now. Which shows that you need help. And your friend may not be such a bad candidate for that as she seems. Sometimes people make jokes about things or are rude about them when it's an abstract thing but when it's someone they care about in real pain...they're there for you. About the art clas thing I had that happen to me too. We were using exactos and then saws. I was freaking out. I'd say just stay right next to someone the whole time or be talking (just chatting about the project) with your art teacher so that you can't get away with using the tools in a dangerous way. Or if you feel volotile and just can't be around that stuff say you've got a headache and go to the nurse. It's really great that you're trying to stop honey. If you ever wanna talk you can PM me for anything


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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: my dream and the day after - March 26th 2011, 03:57 PM

hey Blair
i suppose that does make sense. i have been thinking about it quite a lot lately and i just can't stop. i've tried so hard to start thinking about something else but if i lose my concentration for a split second i start thinking about it again.

i'm not very close to that friend so i don't really tell her much. i do have friends that know about it though. my 2 best friends know, a close friend knows, and another close friend knows about the first 2 times. my 2 best friends know about the dream and they were just as freaked about it as i was.

normally i wouldn't get so freaked about being so close to a knife. it's only started happening recently. i think it may be because i haven't cut in quite a while. usually i would be having normal conversations with people in that class but i think we started talking about that because she's emo. i don't think she cuts but i still think she has a fascination for knives :/.

ok thankyou
and the same to you




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Re: my dream and the day after - March 26th 2011, 04:09 PM

Oh alright then it's good that you're besties know. As for your thoughts, I'd advise you to try to stay in the moment. Whatever is going on around you try to get in tune with that. Or think about a song and just sing it in your head. Draw a picture. Count to a thousand...anything you can use to keep yourself out of dangerous thoughts


Just Keep Breathing
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
you are perfect to me ❤
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Name: Celine
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Location: My own little world where the only thing that can hurt me is myself

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Join Date: February 15th 2011

Re: my dream and the day after - March 26th 2011, 07:34 PM

ok i will try them things when my mind starts to wander.
thanks for the help




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Re: my dream and the day after - March 26th 2011, 08:30 PM

Anytime =)


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