TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives


You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
WhoAmI? Offline
Member
Not a n00b
**
 
WhoAmI?'s Avatar
 

Posts: 78
Join Date: May 2nd 2009

Self Harm Over Dramatization - April 21st 2011, 08:13 AM

Do you think the whole self harm thing is really overdramatized by not only the media, but some of the people who do it as well? I think so, I don't think it's that bad to do, it's definitely better than smoking and drinking. But that's just me. I don't think it's your self harm you should be worrying about stopping, I think you should concentrate on the things that cause it and go from there. If you don't, it's like trying to (not to be ironic) close an open wound with a piece of paper. You're just waiting for the "gauze," the "fix," the relapse, because what caused the "wound" didn't get removed and you "stepped" on it again. You get what I mean?
Also, I went out in shorts today (I have a lot of old SI scars on my legs) to prove a point to you guys that no one will notice your scars except you. No one asked me anything about them and I have a lot. The only thing holding you back from wearing that bikini is your issues with yourself and your body - not the fact that you SI, because those scars could just as likely have happened if you fell into a glass door (not that you should throw yourself into one.) I also have scars on my arm and didn't wear anything to cover them, and still no one said anything or even looked. Not to be offensive, but generally people have a tendency to look into their own lives and don't pay much attention to yours.

This summer, I say we wear whatever the hell we want, and as long as we're comfortable with ourselves, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks and if they've got a problem with what is on your body, that's their problem, not yours.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
DeeAnn_Angela Offline
Member
Not a n00b
**
 
DeeAnn_Angela's Avatar
 
Name: Sophie
Gender: Female
Location: USA

Posts: 86
Blog Entries: 8
Join Date: June 25th 2009

Re: Self Harm Over Dramatization - April 21st 2011, 11:04 AM

I don't think it's "over dramatized" at all, I'm not sure what you mean, but I agree that we *should* be focusing on the causes and not the SI while trying to get well. HOwever, for a lot of people who SI, we do it because we can' deal with those problems, or don't want to or whatever, so we substitute emotional pain for physical. Kind of on that same road, fixing the physical problem, SI, while scary and difficult, feels a lot lot easier and less scary than trying to fix the emotional problem behind it. It's not a good thing or an excuse, it's just the fact of the matter.

As for the scar thing...you're right, scars that seem huge and scary to us might not earn a second glance from someone who didn't SI (I say that because several peoploe who do/did SI tend to look for signs in other people, and over analyze every scratch...I'm big on doing that, heh ) and I think a lot of us realize that. But there IS always the risk that someone will see, too, you know? I have had people ask about mine...I don't know, lol. I think you're right, though, that if people feel comfortable enough to wear what they like, they SHOULD. I really admire people who can go out with their scars showing, noticable or not
  Send a message via Yahoo to DeeAnn_Angela  
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Riddikulus Offline
The magic word... expelliarmus
I've been here a while
********
 
Riddikulus's Avatar
 
Name: Ask me :)
Gender: Female
Location: Somewhere in the middle of nowhere!

Posts: 1,094
Blog Entries: 183
Join Date: January 4th 2011

Re: Self Harm Over Dramatization - April 21st 2011, 11:23 AM

Hey

I don't think it is 'over dramatized at all', we should be focusing on the bad sides of it and helping overselves and others recover. It is just as bad as smoking and drinking, if not worse as it has immidiate effects on your body.

You say that people don't notice, i beg to differ, i find people do notice, but many are too scared to ask or don't really care; though i do agree people who SH themselves do notice it on others more. Though i think that is because you know what the signs are and are more aware of SH.

Yes i agree wear what you want, but not because people won't notice nessecarily, but because you are not ashamed and don't care what others think.
But we all have different views on this and it can be looked at in many different ways.

Charli


'Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics'



Helplink mentor 19/03/11
LiveHelp operator 25/04/11
Self Harm Mod 30/07/11
Chat Mod 16/01/12
Chit-Chat mod 7/05/12
General Health mod 13/10/12
Buddy 4/06/12


RIP Peter <3
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Evanesco Offline
Linguistics geek
Outside, huh?
**********
 
Evanesco's Avatar
 
Name: Harrison (or Harri)
Age: 25
Gender: Demi boy
Location: North Wales

Posts: 3,992
Blog Entries: 199
Join Date: April 18th 2011

Re: Self Harm Over Dramatization - April 21st 2011, 08:19 PM

I have scars on my stomach and I was terrified today that my mum would see them when I got my bras fitted, but she didn't. I agree with you about some people noticing them, but most people don't care, and I'm wearing my bikini this summer.


Join the Skeleton Clique on TH
Do you wanna come with me? 'Cause if you do, then I should warn you - you're gonna see all sorts of things. Ghosts from the past. Aliens from the future. The day the Earth died in a ball of flame. It won't be quiet, it won't be safe, and it won't be calm. But I'll tell you what it will be: The trip of a lifetime!

Don't trust a perfect person and don't trust a song that's flawless.
RIP Granddad Terry. I'll miss you.
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Kumagoro Offline
Formerly ChaosControl
I've been here a while
********
 
Kumagoro's Avatar
 
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: UK

Posts: 1,567
Blog Entries: 14
Join Date: March 30th 2009

Re: Self Harm Over Dramatization - April 22nd 2011, 10:54 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by WhoAmI? View Post
Do you think the whole self harm thing is really overdramatized by not only the media, but some of the people who do it as well? I think so, I don't think it's that bad to do, it's definitely better than smoking and drinking. But that's just me. I don't think it's your self harm you should be worrying about stopping, I think you should concentrate on the things that cause it and go from there. If you don't, it's like trying to (not to be ironic) close an open wound with a piece of paper. You're just waiting for the "gauze," the "fix," the relapse, because what caused the "wound" didn't get removed and you "stepped" on it again. You get what I mean?
I'm not sure about over dramatisation, but I get what you mean about the triggers and the way in which we deal with them. Often, what causes the "wound" won't just go away, and it's the emotions rather than the actual trigger that need to be dealt with. Easier said than done, I know...

Quote:
Originally Posted by WhoAmI? View Post
Also, I went out in shorts today (I have a lot of old SI scars on my legs) to prove a point to you guys that no one will notice your scars except you. No one asked me anything about them and I have a lot. The only thing holding you back from wearing that bikini is your issues with yourself and your body - not the fact that you SI, because those scars could just as likely have happened if you fell into a glass door (not that you should throw yourself into one.) I also have scars on my arm and didn't wear anything to cover them, and still no one said anything or even looked. Not to be offensive, but generally people have a tendency to look into their own lives and don't pay much attention to yours.
I think some people do notice, but it's not always tactful to mention. Like you said, they wouldn't know whether you SH or whether it was an accidental injury, but it's not the sort of thing they can ask to a complete stranger. I have noticed people looking but I agree it shouldn't stop you from exposing your scars, as not everybody is going to judge you by it. Those who do judge you are not worth your time. You have every right to feel good about your body.

Quote:
Originally Posted by WhoAmI? View Post
This summer, I say we wear whatever the hell we want, and as long as we're comfortable with ourselves, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks and if they've got a problem with what is on your body, that's their problem, not yours.
I totally agree with this.




   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Marguerite Offline
Member
I've been here a while
********
 
Marguerite's Avatar
 
Name: Marguerite
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: Australia

Posts: 1,064
Blog Entries: 2
Join Date: June 1st 2010

Re: Self Harm Over Dramatization - April 23rd 2011, 01:26 AM

Great, inspirational speech, uh... apart from the fact you're trying to normalize an unhealthy behaviour. Honestly, I worry a lot more about people like you than the media, people who try to act like it's 'not a big deal' and massively understate it. It's not worse than smoking or drinking. Carving yourself up is not a good or healthy thing to do and it's dangerous for you to go around saying otherwise.

While I do agree people should be free to wear what they want, your reason for it is ridiculous. 'Fell into a glass door'? Maybe people would believe that, if people were idiots. A lot of them are. Thankfully, most of us are not. Apart from the fact it sounds like a ridiculous excuse, falling into a glass door wouldn't give you perfectly straight, semetrical scars like a lot of people have.

It's great you're so comfortable with your body but maybe instead of proudly showing of your scars you should work on not making them in the first place.


To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never, to forget

~Arundhati Roy
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
WhoAmI? Offline
Member
Not a n00b
**
 
WhoAmI?'s Avatar
 

Posts: 78
Join Date: May 2nd 2009

Re: Self Harm Over Dramatization - April 23rd 2011, 07:15 PM

Quote:
Great, inspirational speech, uh... apart from the fact you're trying to normalize an unhealthy behaviour. Honestly, I worry a lot more about people like you than the media, people who try to act like it's 'not a big deal' and massively understate it. It's not worse than smoking or drinking. Carving yourself up is not a good or healthy thing to do and it's dangerous for you to go around saying otherwise.
I'm not trying to "normalize" anything, I was just pointing out that it's no more self-harm than smoking or drinking. I don't think it's that bad because self harm is not the problem, the problem lies beneath the self harm. I thought "love is the movement" and all that, so why would you think my confidence in myself is worse than the media? You can't expect the "media" to have a better understanding of people who self harm if the people who self harm just want to pity themselves in shame.


Quote:
While I do agree people should be free to wear what they want, your reason for it is ridiculous. 'Fell into a glass door'? Maybe people would believe that, if people were idiots. A lot of them are. Thankfully, most of us are not. Apart from the fact it sounds like a ridiculous excuse, falling into a glass door wouldn't give you perfectly straight, semetrical scars like a lot of people have.
You have no right to tell me my "reason" for finally loving myself is ridiculous, especially when that wasn't a "reason to not hide myself" at all - it was an example of what others may think. People don't automatically think "SELF HARM!" when you're all cut up either, only immature young teenage children would think that, unless they are a self-harmer. Otherwise, they just wouldn't know. They would wonder, but they wouldn't be sure. I know people who've been in wrecks etc. who have straight-line scars from glass and metal. Straight scars don't all come from razors.




P.S.
I know people sometimes do notice scars, but if we're comfortable with ourselves, why would we care? I don't because I refuse to be ashamed of myself, that's not healthy and it's self-harm just the same without the mark.

Last edited by WhoAmI?; April 23rd 2011 at 07:32 PM.
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
Epoh Offline
Love is in the tiniest places.
Not a n00b
**
 
Epoh's Avatar
 
Name: Judith
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Location: Your heart

Posts: 59
Join Date: October 7th 2010

Re: Self Harm Over Dramatization - April 23rd 2011, 11:26 PM

I don't think it's over-dramatized at all. If anything its under-dramatized. People have thoughts and beliefs about self harm and if it isn't talked about in the media, then people would still think all self harmer's are suicidal and want attention. Hell, I think people still do.

So, I don't think that coming on this messageboard saying that self harm isn't "that bad" is exactly the best thing to do. I do understand that you are trying to say its the cause that's really the issue we should be concerned about and not the self harm. But it's a lot harder to end the cause than to end the action. It'd be like trying to wipe up lighter fluid after it's already been lit. You have to put the fire out before you can clean up your mess. We have to stop self harming before we can fix our struggles.

I do want to congratulate you on being very confident with your body and loving yourself. I do wish I was in your position, and do hope to be someday. Just please realize there are a lot of people who need help and understating a serious problem can lead to more.



What we see depends
mainly on what
we look
for.

   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
WhoAmI? Offline
Member
Not a n00b
**
 
WhoAmI?'s Avatar
 

Posts: 78
Join Date: May 2nd 2009

Re: Self Harm Over Dramatization - April 24th 2011, 07:31 AM

Oh I see how I didn't explain right, I meant "over-dramatization" as in people actually thinking self-harm is suicide like the video for Pink's "Perfect" music video, I didn't mean understating it. I meant that suicide and self-harm aren't linked and there should not be blood on the side of a bathtub... That's not how it works for most people who self-injure, and saying it does puts the self-injurer in an awkward position because that clip of the video is just so unrealistic but other people wouldn't know that and they would think that's exactly what you do, cut yourself and smear your blood on the bathtub wall.
   
  (#10 (permalink)) Old
Evanesco Offline
Linguistics geek
Outside, huh?
**********
 
Evanesco's Avatar
 
Name: Harrison (or Harri)
Age: 25
Gender: Demi boy
Location: North Wales

Posts: 3,992
Blog Entries: 199
Join Date: April 18th 2011

Re: Self Harm Over Dramatization - April 24th 2011, 07:50 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marguerite View Post
It's great you're so comfortable with your body but maybe instead of proudly showing of your scars you should work on not making them in the first place.
I just want to say that nowhere in her post did she say that she was proudly showing them off. She just didn't feel the need to hide herself any longer.

There's a difference between being proud of what you've done to yourself and not being ashamed any longer of it. True, it's a fine line, but no one should feel the need to hide.


Join the Skeleton Clique on TH
Do you wanna come with me? 'Cause if you do, then I should warn you - you're gonna see all sorts of things. Ghosts from the past. Aliens from the future. The day the Earth died in a ball of flame. It won't be quiet, it won't be safe, and it won't be calm. But I'll tell you what it will be: The trip of a lifetime!

Don't trust a perfect person and don't trust a song that's flawless.
RIP Granddad Terry. I'll miss you.
   
  (#11 (permalink)) Old
Marguerite Offline
Member
I've been here a while
********
 
Marguerite's Avatar
 
Name: Marguerite
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: Australia

Posts: 1,064
Blog Entries: 2
Join Date: June 1st 2010

Re: Self Harm Over Dramatization - April 24th 2011, 03:19 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by WhoAmI? View Post
I'm not trying to "normalize" anything, I was just pointing out that it's no more self-harm than smoking or drinking.
The point of drinking is to get drunk. The outcome may hurt you. The point of smoking, is to... well... smoke. The outcome may hurt you. The point of self harm IS to hurt yourself. There is a big different with intentions there. Someone who is drinking for fun and ends up falling down the stairs may hurt themselves a lot more than someone who scars themselves but they are probably in a better mental and emotional state than the scarrer.

Quote:
Originally Posted by WhoAmI? View Post
I don't think it's that bad because self harm is not the problem, the problem lies beneath the self harm.
Eh. It is more important to treat the cause of the problem but you also need to learn how to handle things better. Plenty of people go through terrible things and awful feelings and they don't cut themselves, so self harm is really a seperate problem. People don't have scars on their wrists because they're in an abusive relationship (for example), they have scars because they took a razor and cut into their skin. Self Harm is the problem. Maybe not the same problem but a problem nonetheless.

Quote:
Originally Posted by WhoAmI? View Post
I thought "love is the movement" and all that, so why would you think my confidence in myself is worse than the media? You can't expect the "media" to have a better understanding of people who self harm if the people who self harm just want to pity themselves in shame.
Because honestly self harming isn't something to be confident about. You have a defeatest attitude. You're saying "Well, I self harm, and I don't care what you think. I'm happy with myself and that's all that matters. It's my body, not your". That's all well and good, but instead of fighting to be confident with yourself, you should be saying "I understand self harming is unhealthy and I want to work on stopping it".

People who self harm should 'pity themselves in shame', they shouldn't be doing it at all. You talk as if it's impossible to ever stop self harming so you might as well come to live with it.

I don't know what love the movement is.

Quote:
Originally Posted by WhoAmI? View Post
You have no right to tell me my "reason" for finally loving myself is ridiculous, especially when that wasn't a "reason to not hide myself" at all - it was an example of what others may think. People don't automatically think "SELF HARM!" when you're all cut up either, only immature young teenage children would think that, unless they are a self-harmer. Otherwise, they just wouldn't know. They would wonder, but they wouldn't be sure. I know people who've been in wrecks etc. who have straight-line scars from glass and metal. Straight scars don't all come from razors.
I didn't say the reason for 'loving yourself' was ridiculous (though I have every right too btw). And calling someone an 'immature young teenage child' for correctly indentifying your scars is ridiculous. They're immature children- for being right? It's pretty obvious is someone has ten perfectly lined scars in a row that they didn't 'fall into a glass door'. Maybe you can get away with it as people SH differently but most people can't get away with that lie. By the way, if you love yourself so much and don't care what people think, why are you lying about it anyway? Why don't you just tell the truth?

Quote:
Originally Posted by DemolitionLover View Post
There's a difference between being proud of what you've done to yourself and not being ashamed any longer of it.
There's a difference? Sorry, but I'm pretty sure there isn't.


To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never, to forget

~Arundhati Roy
   
  (#12 (permalink)) Old
Kate* Offline
Newsletter Tips Writer
Outside, huh?
**********
 
Kate*'s Avatar
 
Name: Katie
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Location: Ohio

Posts: 4,720
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: Self Harm Over Dramatization - April 24th 2011, 04:41 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by WhoAmI? View Post
I don't think it's your self harm you should be worrying about stopping, I think you should concentrate on the things that cause it and go from there. If you don't, it's like trying to (not to be ironic) close an open wound with a piece of paper. You're just waiting for the "gauze," the "fix," the relapse, because what caused the "wound" didn't get removed and you "stepped" on it again. You get what I mean?
no one will notice your scars except you. No one asked me anything about them and I have a lot. The only thing holding you back from wearing that bikini is your issues with yourself and your body
I have to agree with this almost completely, I think self-harm is more a symptom of a bigger problem and if you deal with the reason(s) you do it, it will be easier to stop.

Quote:
Originally Posted by DemolitionLover View Post
There's a difference between being proud of what you've done to yourself and not being ashamed any longer of it. .
Also have to agree here, letting someone see a scar doesn't mean that you're proud of the fact that you've done it, or that you're looking for attention for having harmed yourself at one time. It can just mean that you're sick of hiding it and ready to move on.

Also, a friendly reminder that this is not in the debate forum, if you'd like it moved there feel free to PM someone with moding powers.


Member Since: September 19, 2007
LHO: March 31, 2008- October 13, 2012

"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you." Jean Paul Sarte
   
  (#13 (permalink)) Old
Kumagoro Offline
Formerly ChaosControl
I've been here a while
********
 
Kumagoro's Avatar
 
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: UK

Posts: 1,567
Blog Entries: 14
Join Date: March 30th 2009

Re: Self Harm Over Dramatization - April 24th 2011, 05:41 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by DemolitionLover View Post
There's a difference between being proud of what you've done to yourself and not being ashamed any longer of it. True, it's a fine line, but no one should feel the need to hide.
I second this.




   
  (#14 (permalink)) Old
Evanesco Offline
Linguistics geek
Outside, huh?
**********
 
Evanesco's Avatar
 
Name: Harrison (or Harri)
Age: 25
Gender: Demi boy
Location: North Wales

Posts: 3,992
Blog Entries: 199
Join Date: April 18th 2011

Re: Self Harm Over Dramatization - April 24th 2011, 09:27 PM

I'm glad some people agree with me, because it's horrible to have scars that you have to hide, despite trying to deal with the problem. Should I hide my scars forever? Or should I not be ashamed of the things I struggled with in the past and decide to wear what I want? Scars last forever, but why should shame last that long?


Join the Skeleton Clique on TH
Do you wanna come with me? 'Cause if you do, then I should warn you - you're gonna see all sorts of things. Ghosts from the past. Aliens from the future. The day the Earth died in a ball of flame. It won't be quiet, it won't be safe, and it won't be calm. But I'll tell you what it will be: The trip of a lifetime!

Don't trust a perfect person and don't trust a song that's flawless.
RIP Granddad Terry. I'll miss you.
   
1 user(s) liked this post or found it helpful.
  (#15 (permalink)) Old
WhoAmI? Offline
Member
Not a n00b
**
 
WhoAmI?'s Avatar
 

Posts: 78
Join Date: May 2nd 2009

Re: Self Harm Over Dramatization - April 24th 2011, 10:23 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by DemolitionLover View Post
I'm glad some people agree with me, because it's horrible to have scars that you have to hide, despite trying to deal with the problem. Should I hide my scars forever? Or should I not be ashamed of the things I struggled with in the past and decide to wear what I want? Scars last forever, but why should shame last that long?
Exactly.



And to Marquerite, you don't have a right to tell me anything I think is ridiculous. You just don't have that right, as I don't condemn your opinions or feelings about yourself. I just debate them with you, as you debate mine. Which is fine, I have no problem with that. It is, however, causing a bit of a 'fight' and I can see where this thread is going and I'm sorry if I've caused controversy, that was not my intention at all. I am not about to argue with someone over the Internet. =)
I meant "young teenage children" wouldn't just ask if they were from self-harm, because if someone asks me I would tell them the truth, I have no problem with that because I'm tired of hiding and being self-conscious. I meant it as they would stereotype, be really immature about it and criticize me for it.

End of discussion please. =)
   
  (#16 (permalink)) Old
PlayingPretend Offline
Member
I've been here a while
********
 
PlayingPretend's Avatar
 
Name: Elliotte
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: California

Posts: 1,384
Join Date: October 19th 2009

Re: Self Harm Over Dramatization - April 25th 2011, 07:48 AM

I don't feel it has to do with dramatisation at all, to be honest, over or under. I feel that it has more to do with ignorance and awareness.

For example, the people who have the tendency to think that self-harm is directly linked to suicide, I don't feel that has anything to do with them dramatising the issue; I feel that it has to do with the fact that they don't necessarily understand that there is a difference. There are people who self-injure who are suicidal, and there are people who self-injure who aren't, but not everyone can tell the difference because not everyone understands the psychology there is behind harming oneself.

What I will agree with is that it is, generally, poorly advocated. The way the media portrays it is, in my opinion, the way it oftentimes gets misconstrued. I feel that it is so massly generalised that people lose sight of what it is, and that's that it's unique to each and every individual. I feel that it gets misinterpreted because of the way it's presented. Again, this goes back to ignorance, but though the public shares responsibility in the fact they don't go out and read up on it and do their research, it's also not entirely their fault. And I don't feel like something that gets enough "press coverage" as it does is under-dramatised at all. I feel it's emphasised, but in the wrong way.

As far as considering alcohol, nicotine, etc. worse than self-harm, I honestly feel that they are either one in the same or two entirely different things. Let's take alcohol. There are people who go out and get drunk for the fun of it. Yes, it may cause damage, depending on how much and how often, and that damage may be significant, but the intention behind it has nothing to do with harming one's body. And then there are the people who go out and get drunk with the intention of blinding themselves from their issues, numbing the pain, going "someplace else," etc. I can't quite say why people drink to escape because I don't drink and never plan to, but I know that some people do. How is this any different than self-harm? Other than the act, the intentions are the same, and the intentions are what's important.

I believe the same as far as whether or not it's the self-harm or the issues that are the problem. Of course I believe in getting to the root, heart, and core of the problem, but I believe that the act itself is also problematic if there's no intention on stopping. The reason I feel this way is because it's generally one perpetual and very vicious cycle. For example, let's say that you suffered sexual abuse as a child, and you cut to cope with that pain. You may be working in therapy on the issues caused by that sexual abuse all the while cutting to cope. You may feel that you will stop cutting once you've worked through those issues, but you are still cutting to cope with the pain and any other negative feelings, reinforcing the subconscious belief that cutting is an acceptable and effective way of dealing with pain/negative emotions. It is and can be an addiction like anything else. I think that it's equally as important to be willing to stop self-harming, and be willing to try, as it is to want to work on the issues behind it.

In regards to whether or not one should hide their scars, that's completely dependent on the individual, and it's not something that can be forced. Everyone will be ready in their own time, and some never will. You'll have people who are proud of their scars, you'll have people who are neutral, and you'll have people who are ashamed. These people are at where they're at in the moment, and they need to be allowed to be there. They are as entitled to being ashamed as they are to being proud. It doesn't make one weak or a coward, and it doesn't make one an attention seeker or "sick-minded." But I do feel like it's something we all have to embrace, and I think people, whether they SH or don't, need to realise that embracing it does not mean advocating or okay'ing it. It means being confident enough to accept that this is what you've been through or are going through.

I do disagree with the idea that people don't notice your scars. While I agree you're always more body conscious than they are (of your body), I feel other people do notice depending on how noticeable the scar. For example, I have scars people don't notice, and I have scars that have caused people to ask what's happened (despite it being obvious) or to directly ask if I used to cut myself. I am still working on being able to wear shorts, dresses, etc. without leggings, but I also refuse to use anything, bio-oils, cover-up, etc., because my scars are my story. I want them to heal and fade on their own and in their own time. I want to come to a point of self-acceptance because even if I have had relapses, and probably will, they symbolise how far I've come. They are something I am somewhat self-conscious of, but I am coming to terms with them more and more everyday, despite some of the looks or questions I receive.
   
1 user(s) liked this post or found it helpful.
  (#17 (permalink)) Old
Kumagoro Offline
Formerly ChaosControl
I've been here a while
********
 
Kumagoro's Avatar
 
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: UK

Posts: 1,567
Blog Entries: 14
Join Date: March 30th 2009

Re: Self Harm Over Dramatization - April 25th 2011, 07:28 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by DemolitionLover View Post
I'm glad some people agree with me, because it's horrible to have scars that you have to hide, despite trying to deal with the problem. Should I hide my scars forever? Or should I not be ashamed of the things I struggled with in the past and decide to wear what I want? Scars last forever, but why should shame last that long?
This is so true. You don't have to be proud of what you've done in the past, but it can't be changed. There's no point in hiding it; you just move on and accept what's happened.




   
  (#18 (permalink)) Old
MadPoet Offline
You're the Original <3
Outside, huh?
**********
 
MadPoet's Avatar
 
Name: Amanda.
Age: 24
Gender: Female.
Location: Michigan.

Posts: 4,685
Blog Entries: 121
Join Date: January 8th 2009

Re: Self Harm Over Dramatization - April 25th 2011, 07:53 PM

I think I get where you're coming from a little bit, but in different ways. People are more comfortable with being intoxicated in public when they are alcoholics than self harmers feel comfortable showing their scars. Yes, it is a negative behavior and I'm not condoning it in anyway. But it's not as bad as being a drug addict, being an alcoholic, or even smoking. I think the problem is that people don't understand it so they are more judgmental about it. But I don't blame people who self harm for not wanting to show their scars. I blame the world for saying "EW, she self harms," rather than "I wish I could help her." If people were less judgmental I think that would solve the problem you're thinking of.





A lonely soul in a land of broken hearts


   
  (#19 (permalink)) Old
inactiveprofile Offline
Member
Average Joe
***
 
inactiveprofile's Avatar
 
Name: .
Age: 25
Gender: Female

Posts: 117
Join Date: June 26th 2010

Re: Self Harm Over Dramatization - April 25th 2011, 08:13 PM

hey there.
Self injury is not "overdramatized" at all from my point of view. In fact I myself have gone into comma because of it , but thats another story.But from my own point of view I have to say no it is not overdramatized. And allthough you do make a point in some places such as concentrating on the actual problem that cause the self injury. Allso I myself have a lot of scars on my lower arm and even if I wear 3 quater lenght shirts people ask me what the hell happend to my arm, but that may have to do with the fact that I have become more violent with it lately. So I suppose it's just about who you live around and how you act with it. for example I don't show my cuts but when I have gym and I wear short sleeve and Im casually talking I have had people coming up to me asking me about them. sooo yeah :/
  Send a message via MSN to inactiveprofile  
  (#20 (permalink)) Old
Maloo Offline
Maloooooo
I can't get enough
*********
 
Maloo's Avatar
 
Name: Lissa
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: The US

Posts: 2,585
Blog Entries: 3
Join Date: January 12th 2010

Re: Self Harm Over Dramatization - April 26th 2011, 01:28 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marguerite View Post
The point of drinking is to get drunk. The outcome may hurt you. The point of smoking, is to... well... smoke. The outcome may hurt you. The point of self harm IS to hurt yourself.
I'm going to have to agree with this. I think it's ridiculous to say that self-harming is no worse than drinking or smoking.
   
  (#21 (permalink)) Old
Troubled_Heart Offline
Used to be Ianto Jones
Experienced TeenHelper
******
 
Troubled_Heart's Avatar
 
Name: Melissa
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Location: The room where it's red and black and evil people walk around pointing and laughing at you

Posts: 660
Blog Entries: 131
Join Date: March 15th 2011

Re: Self Harm Over Dramatization - April 26th 2011, 07:32 PM

I think self harm and alcohol can be worse because you can kill yourself in one go but with smoking there's less chance of death. I deinately agree with the highlited quote abouve too and with self harm it means something is bad in your life which isn't good. You also have a higher chance of suicide, again not good... but it can help you not commit suicide, but accidental death is possible...


When life gives you one thousand reasons to cry, show life one million reasons to SMILE!

  Send a message via MSN to Troubled_Heart Send a message via Yahoo to Troubled_Heart  
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
dramatization, harm

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.