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summerbreeze Offline
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losing it again - June 16th 2011, 02:18 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

i didnt cut myself for 2 weeks and i cut myself last night. i had to do it on my hip because i cant do it on my wrist anymore because too many ppl would notice. i did it because im so anrgy at ppl i once loved. i hate them now, i hate them so much. i wanted to kill myself at one point because these ppl left me and she just acted like it was no big deal hanging out with me, II i had to bring up the subject and she was so defensive and made me feel like it was all my fault. i admitt tht i was freaking crazy,cutting myself everyday, thinking about killing myself everyday, and having rapid mood swings. but she was supposed to be my best friend, if she was going though this stuff, i would never have left her, i would annoy her and be my her side every single second. and honestly thts what i needed. she and him let me down and i hate them for it. i can feel myself losing myself again and who i am. 2 days a week in therapy isnt enough

"I believe everyone is born into the world to do something unique and something distinctive."
-Benjamin E. Mays
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bayhorse321 Offline
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Re: losing it again - June 16th 2011, 02:27 PM

Hey there,
I am sorry that your friends left you in your time of need. I to have lost two friends when I needed them most. You are doing better than me I only lasted 3 days. You can do this. You deserve to have great friends, and you aren't going through this alone. If you ever want to talk feel free to PM me or something maybe I can be a friend for you.
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Liz94 Offline
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Re: losing it again - June 16th 2011, 02:37 PM

If you feel you need more therapy then don't feel ashamed, tell your therapist and I am sure they could work something out with you.

Hapving friends abandon you is really hard to deal with. It might be because they don't understand and think that abandoning you will make you stop self harming. My friends did that to me for that exact reason and once I explinaed to them how it made the situation worse they stopped. So maybe give that a go.

Also don't beat youself up about you slip up in your self harm. They are part of recovery and I know that you can beat self harm. So keep trying and keep going, use thoise distractions that stopped to for 2 weeks and try some different ones. Use the alternaitives thread for more ideas.

Well done for reaching two weeks. Keep fighting, keep going.
PM/VM me anytime
Take care

"Casting all your anxiety upon Him, because He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7

"For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control." 2 Timothy 1:7

"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." Romans 12:2

PM/VM me anytime
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