Triggering (SH): need some advice/support at the moment

[samantha:)x]

Part of me wants to go back to my old ways... it has been like a week since i selfharmed by scratching my skin with a piin, its left a large mark and won't go , just like any of my other scars... But eventhough i regret it afterwords, i got the part of me that wants to go back to my old ways which is using a knife ect....

I was thinking about councelling to fully stop but i dont really want to go through the "how do you feel" sort of sessions.... because it dont help.

on friday my form class was talking about do you feel safe where you live and we were all like no and said why.. mine was because i keep getting sexualy harrased when i walk home and it scares me because im only 14. Then the discussion turned into life storys like divorce, abuse ect... i told them about my abuse and all of them understood and listened , including my teacher and i feel alot closer. i also told them i use to be suicidal, but i dont think i want to tell them about my self harm..

[tamz]

Hey there
It's understandable you wanting to go back to your old ways, self harm is like an addiction. Maybe you could take things slowly and start opening up to your form or even just your teacher? You don't deserve to be hurt any more than you already are, no one deserves self harm. Have you told anyone about the sexual harassment? That's definitely not going to help the situation! Perhaps you'd be best focusing on the underlying issues first, otherwise you're always going to feel drawn back to self harm.
I know you can do this though Sorry I'm really tired atm so not sure if this even makes sense. But you can get through this, you don't need to harm yourself. We're always here if you want to talk to anyone.

[samantha:)x]

I have been through so much lately including today my brother just abused me and he got kicked out of the house.
So I know my past is why i am self harming.
But i cant think about it , it hurts too much.
And i dont have the courage when i need it most to tell my form/teacher, because i feel like its off subject and un-nessery.
xxx
(sorry for spelling)

[tamz]

I'm sorry to hear about your brother, you don't deserve that.
How about writing it down and handing it to her? I've never ever been able to say it out loud but it has defo helped with certain people knowing. You're form tutor is there to look out for your welfare, with your personal life as well as your school life. Most would much rather you spoke to them than struggle on with your problems alone. I've worked in a school in the past and I know I'd defo rather a pupil speak to me about it than bottle it up. xx

[samantha:)x]

I dont know .. I want him and my class to know but i dont want to write it down or be the one to tell him. I think it's best to leave it

[tamz]

I can understand your worries. But I think it's not best to leave it if it's causing you distress. The only thing with telling your form is you have to be careful. Sometimes they tell your parents but only you can tell if he's the sort of person to do that.
Well done on going a week without self harm btw, that's a big achievement and means you CAN go longer Whilst talking on here is great because it's anonymous and all that, is there anyone in real life you can turn to? Say someone you can phone if the urges were to get too bad? xx

[samantha:)x]

my mum knows about my self harm, and some of my friends but they are not good at advice x

[MaroonLove]

As a former S.H.er I can see how it would seem thrilling to go back. But think of all the progress you've made.

[tamz]

Originally Posted by xxunperfectxx

As a former S.H.er I can see how it would seem thrilling to go back. But think of all the progress you've made.

This If you were to have a slip up, it wouldn't be the end of the world and you shouldn't beat yourself up about it, but at the same time you're doing so well at the moment. Think of how proud of yourself you will feel as the days begin to mount up even further It is sooo tempting to go back to it but is it really worth it? A moments relief for hours of guilt? You CAN beat this, I know you can because you're doing brilliantly so far. xx

[samantha:)x]

Thankyou I'll try and not self harm x

[Moon Moon]

Not all counselors and such do the whole "how does that make you feel" stuff. Mine certainly didn't

[samantha:)x]

yeah but the ones i can get (which are my school councellors) do x

[tamz]

What about speaking to your gp? They may be able to get someone better, particularly if you tell them the whole how does that make you feel stuff isn't for you. xx

[samantha:)x]

Thanks for all of your help, I'll sleep on it xx

[tamz]

Of course! No one's expecting you to do anything immediately hun. Just hope you can find ways of overcoming this. If that means keeping silent then that's fine, or if talking helps, that's fine too. Whatever helps you personally. but we're always a pm or thread away from a chat xx