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ASmileCanHideAMillionTear s
Not a n00b
** 
Name: samantha
Gender: Female
Location: UK
Posts: 85
Join Date: June 17th 2011
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My life and self harm is spinning out of control, please help me -
July 16th 2011, 11:16 PM
I love my dad so much but i have to let him go. My mum hates him, and i hate him too now, he keeps negleting me, he didnt care or help when my brother punched me, he never steps in , he runs away when there is a problem and he is always with his fucking wife who is a bitch and horrible to me, they didnt invite me to there wedding and they had the nerv to show me it! He didnt help , or take me to his when i was living with simon and he STILL doesnt beleive me. HE WONT EVEN HUG ME OR SAID HE LOVED ME! he was abusive to my older brother when i was 2 (im 14 now) , Today i had too meet him in town for some money. He didnt hug me or anthing or even apolagise and he exspects me to be fine with it and he wont get in contact with me unless i called/text him.
He always lets me down and makes me want to kill myself. I feel numb. I Love him soo much though but he will never change!  I cant stop selfharming.. I take my blade everywhere and even while typing this it is next to me and i have scars recently from yestaday on my thigh and my wrist. And just a minuit ago i did it on my stomach and wrist. I cant stop. I dont even feel like i want to stop self harming. I dont talk about this to my mum and i feel like none of my friends are there for me. Part of me wants to die but the only thing keeping me here is , my mum, 5 yr old brother william, and my older brother, And still my dad  (Sorry for spelling, im too angry/upset to even bother checking it..:L) xx It serves a lot of functions in my life. I use it as a way to punish myself, I use it as a way to medicate myself, I use it for the tension release when things get too strong or too built up. –ditto
Faking a smile like always  - Pm me if you need help or a friend  xx |
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(#2 (permalink))
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<3 <3 </3 <3
Junior TeenHelper
**** 
Name: Sora
Age: 16
Gender: Female
Posts: 274
Join Date: February 3rd 2011
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Re: My life and self harm is spinning out of control, please help me -
July 18th 2011, 04:49 AM
Hey, I'm here for u. Ur dad sounds like he is terrible to u, and of course u love him. And I don't know what to tell u, except it's not you. It's ur dad. He obviously has problems. Have u tried telling him how u feel tho? Ik it mIght not help but maybe trying.
Also, cutting isn't going to solve much. I know it's assisting and like a drug because it works, but at the same time it's only wrecking u more it's so hard I know, but maybe try to distract urself from the knife. Next time, if u can't go without cutting, at least try to have enough strength to put the blade somewhere far from u, and not bring it everywhere.Praying for u, and hope u feel better <3 sora Just rise above this
Kill them with your kindness Ignorance is blindness They're the ones that stand to lose 'Cause they don't even know you All they see is SCARS They don't see the ANGEL Living in your heart |
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