Triggering (SH): I don't know what to do

[chocolateluver]

Ok, I started self harming this year, and I don't know what to do! I know it's bad and wrong and I shouldn't do it but... I'm so confused!

Actually, I think I started self harming before then, without realizing it, minor things, like pinching myself, then I started cutting myself and when I put my pen knife out of reach I started using my compass, I really don't know what to do...

[Le bonheur*]

Hi there, stopping self-harm is a battle that is hard but it can be won. You can beat this. Take a look at the alternatives thread: http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-s...ves-self-harm/. Not everything on this list works for everybody but if you test it out and find somethings that work for you, it could be effective in your battle. Do you know why you hurt yourself? Are you seeing someone for it? Feel free to PM me if you'd like to talk further <3

[Total Light Storm]

Hi,

I think it's great that you are reaching out for help with this and want to stop self harming.
I think you should take a look at TeenHelp's list of Self Harm alternatives: www.teenhelp.org/alternatives
There's a very long list of alternatives there categorized by mood. You can use any of them for whatever it is you are feeling and they are very helpful. If you don't find the first few things you try to be helpful, try other things on the list or coming up with alternatives of your own, don't give up on them.
You may slip up on the way to quitting self harm, but it is okay to slip up, you just have to tell yourself that you can quit and keep telling yourself that you will and try harder and harder to not self harm each time. Also, you could reward yourself for reaching goals you set. For example if you set a goal of one week without self harm, you could do something nice for yourself or get yourself something small for reaching that goal and passing it, then you can make your goals even longer, instead of one week, two weeks and keep going through the process like that.
I really hope I've helped, if you ever need anything, you can PM me and I'll be glad to help.

[Kate*]

Welcome to TH, I'm sorry to hear that you struggle with this, but I'm glad you're trying to stop. The best way to stop is to figure out why you're doing it and finding another, healthier way to deal with whatever that is. While you're working on that I'd also recommend the alternatives thread and finding someone to talk to about it.

[chocolateluver]

I tried stuff on the alternate thread... it worked for a while, I hate my life... my mum always tells lies about me, a small thing turns into a big thing, I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!! I'm losing my battle.

[Palmolive]

Hi there.

I am really sorry you've found yourself using self harm as a technique to cope. Its horrible that this coping mechanism works for people and at the same time it can be really hard for those using it to handle doing it as well.

It's really great that you tired using some things of the list of alternatives. Thats something to be proud of! I am also really glad that some of them worked for a while, that's even better. Keep trying these things and keep pushing yourself to use them even if you want to give up. Don't give up on them all if one thing doesn't work either!

I want to suggest you making a list of reasons not to self harm like these:

• Because of the scars
• I am worth more than to hurt myself
• Self harming never helps the real reason to why I am doing it
• I don't deserve the pain
• I can reward myself for not self harming
• I am hurting enough as it is
• These feelings aren't nice, but they're just feeling, they can'y hurt me

Try writing them all up on a big piece of paper and stick it up on your wall where you can see it. Decorate it and make it look nice. Add more of your own of course! And when you feel like hurting yourself go to it and remind yourself that there are reasons why you shouldn't hurt you.

I also want to suggest you buying some glow bands so that when you have an urge you can snap one and then you're not allowed to self harm until the glow band has stopped glowing by which time the urges would have hopefully passed and gone away

I hope this helps. Stay strong you are worth so much more than the pain you are putting yourself through.

Jessie

[chocolateluver]

thanks, reading that stopped me from cutting myself, and the rubber band thing does work (I can't find any glow bands) however... apparently you're not supposed to snap rubber bands because they snap in two... ah well