Telling your parents that you self harm?

[WildHeart]

Hey, so I've been self harming for 2 years now, but I've only been cutting for 5 months. My parents have no clue to what's going on, only my 2 closest friends know. Anyways, my cutting is getting worse, and is spreading like wild fire, I now cut on my legs, stomach, wrists and forearms. I feel so bad keeping this all from them, and my best friend thinks it's time I told them, but my question is HOW? I don't want them to be mad or confused, so is there any way to tell them without making it too big of a deal? Thanks!

[Haylee.]

wow. It's amazing how much I can relate to you! My two closest friends know about my cutting.my parents don't know. anyway, You could mebe just sit down with your parents and be completely honest. tell them what you've been doing. and they will help you!

I'm so glad that you are telling them! <3 Let me know if you need anything, k?

Haylee Elaine

[Madeleine.Claire]

When I told my mom.. It was kind of by accident.
I didn't sit her down and prepare her or anything.
I was crying because I wanted to go and cut, so I just starting bawling my eyes out and said "I'm sick of hurting myself and I need my mom."
Of course... That's just my backwards way of doing things!

If I were you, I would sit them down, and tell them that you've been doing something that you don't want to do anymore, and you want them to know. Explain to them that you have been hurting yourself and you want it to stop.

Good luck
<3

[WildHeart]

Thanks everyone!

[Haylee.]

<3 let me know how it goes.

[WildHeart]

Anyone else have points based on experiance?

[Dr.Bobby]

Hi Suz,

My experience is from the other side, sitting with kids and parents who are talking to each other about this in my office.

Most of the time, parents react with great concern that their kids are feeling so bad and doing such self destructive things. It is sometimes shocking, but the shock is more that they either didn't know (or maybe should have known) or what the self harm means: That their child is in such turmoil. I have never, ever sat in a room where parents get 'mad', that just isn't there!

It takes a lot of courage to share something so painful and something that leaves you so vulnerable, but don't confuse that with an unloving or uncaring response from your folks. Underneath the shock or concern is usually a genuine desire to go the distance and support and help you feel better.

The sooner you do this, the sooner you can get the help you need (and the confirmation that they'll be there for you).

[Celestial.]

Hey Suz.

I think it's great you want to tell your parents. It can be a scary thing, but it can definitely help. The main thing to be aware of is that your parents probably aren't expecting it, so they can react in ways that may seem confusing at first - anger, maybe, or incomprehension. That's just because the thought of you, someone they love, deliberately hurting yourself is not something they want to hear, so it can be hard for them to get used to it.

How it happened with my mother was that we were talking about a friend of mine, and my mother asked if she self harmed (though she used a different word, one that I won't write here because I find it triggering), and I asked her not to use that word, so she clued in and asked if I did it, so I just bit the bullet and told her. And while things were weird for a while, it was definitely the right decision, because once she got over the initial shock, she got me the help I needed.

The best thing you can do is try to understand that this is hard for your parents as well as for you. If you're comofortable with it, invite them to ask you questions. The more they know, the easier it should be for them to deal with. Let them know that it's not your fault - because that's often a parent's first thought when they find out their child is doing something like this - and that you're telling them because you trust them and really need their support.

I wish you all the best. Let us know how it goes, okay?