Self destruction

[Ella.x]

I'm feeling very self destructive at the moment. Over the past few weeks I've been cutting, hitting myself with a hammer, making myself vomit, overdosing, scratching, and burning myself. I don't know what to do. All I can think about is hurting myself. When I'm driving on the motorway I have to make a conscious effort not to try and crash my car. When I'm cooking, all I want to do is take the knife and slit my wrists. It's ridiculous. I don't understand how normal cope, everything I've tried hasn't worked. I have a massive list of alternatives and distractions that don't work for me. I've just made myself vomit and now I want to cut. I have to try and avoid cutting/hurting myself so much that I need to go to hospital because I have to declare any open wounds on my arms for my job and can't have any time off. I need help, but I think I'm a lost cause tbh.
I just carved "FAT" into my stomach. Haven't carved in years. Fail.

[abreacti0n]

It seems like your passing through a very hard time right now, I'd suggest that you talk to someone like a friend but in the end you'd talk to someone professional also. Talking has been the best therapy for me, so if you want to talk I'm willing to listen.

Stay Strong xx