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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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bayhorse321 Offline
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Unhappy How I wish you could help, or care... - September 27th 2011, 12:27 AM

My mother and I do not do well anymore. Ever since she found out about my self harm (thankyou sitter of mine) she just ignores me or treats me like crap. I'm always alone. She tells me last night after I ask to go do hone work with my cousin, that I can't because I'm irresponsible, lazy, belligerent, and I have no income ( which I do ) she says I can pack what will fit in my car and get out. She told me that I'm just like my dad. A bum who mooches with no money. And apparently I'm going to be a high school drop out with no life. I'm a senior on my last year and I'm currently a college student as well working towards my CNA. I work every weekend and after school. Does my mom see this? No! You would be mistaken if you thought she did. I wanted to cut so bad last night when she said these things to me. I do miss my dad. I do miss my life 4 years ago. What did I do wrong?! I wish I had the guts to end my life. No one really cares. Never will...

Last edited by Palmolive; October 1st 2011 at 10:19 PM. Reason: Removing prefix
   
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Re: How I wish you could help, or care... - September 27th 2011, 02:14 AM

Hi Bayhorse 321,

First off, I just want to let you know that I once engaged in self harm, not anymore but I have before and my parents were not happy when they found out. Most parents are outraged and saddened to find out and if we put ourselves in their shoes, it's easier to understand.

But, when a child, teen or adult is engaging in this, it obviously means something is wrong and that's when someone needs to step in and help them. We all can't be helped and supported by the same people. Some have their parents support, some only have friends, or a counselor, etc etc. You need to look to who are your helpers, who will understand, be there for you, advise you. We all have someone and there are always people who care and want to help you, even though you might not believe they really care.

It is great you are working hard to pursue a good life after college, whether your mom sees it or not, YOUR opinion matters and how proud you are of yourself and you should definitely be proud

Ending your life is not the answer, it is weak and sinful. I have had these thoughts in the past and thought to myself, why would I allow the devil to control my thoughts and give me bad advise. I talked to my helpers and got myself out, and if I ever feel weak I think of what makes me happy and one of the things is being a college student

We all have to live for ourselves, because our actions, thoughts and decisions matter most to us! You deserve to be happy as any happy person out there, you have a great life ahead of you if you really work hard for YOU!

Next time you think about cutting, think about how weak you are making yourself, be strong and say NO! crumple paper, write out your thoughts, read poetry, sing to yourself, write "I am strong" and keep it somewhere you can see it!

YOU CAN DO THIS!

hope this helps
   
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Re: How I wish you could help, or care... - September 27th 2011, 02:37 AM

Thanks. It has me thinking but idk. I know everything I do is wrong. I can't even think right. I think I am already weakened. I just bleh. I know I am not looking at this from the right angle and that I need to be the change I want to see and so on but I just don't know how anymore.
   
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Re: How I wish you could help, or care... - September 29th 2011, 03:17 AM

I know it's tough, trust me I have been there. But you can slowly change your thinking to more positive, trust me, you are talking to someone who went from negative to positive. It wasn't always easy or quick, but it is worth the time and effort

do you have any good friends you can talk to? or someone at school?

Also, when you feel ready, try talking to your mom and tell her you are a good person, we all make mistakes but whether she wants to believe you or not, you are working hard and doing what is right for you!

Don't give up, and don't tell yourself you are weak, be strong and reverse those bad thoughts!

What helped me was to make a list of my positive qualities, in pen so I don't feel inclined to erase them. It helped a lot, or make post its and put them around your room! You are better than you think, don't forget that!
   
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Re: How I wish you could help, or care... - September 29th 2011, 01:44 PM

Thanks. I will try.
   
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Re: How I wish you could help, or care... - September 29th 2011, 09:51 PM

no problem =)
   
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Re: How I wish you could help, or care... - September 30th 2011, 10:55 PM

I haven't been going home. I'm not allowed in if I miss curfew so I've been sleeping on my cousins floor. Or well not sleeping.
   
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Re: How I wish you could help, or care... - October 1st 2011, 02:43 AM

That's terrible you shouldn't have to sleep on the floor at your cousin's house. You are lucky she is not a stranger, but things really need to get straightened out so you can feel comfortable in your own home!

Maybe try to write your mom a letter telling her all these things, how you are working hard in school, working and want to be something after college. Sometimes letters are powerful and can get your thoughts and frustrations onto paper!

try it, it's worth a try
   
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Re: How I wish you could help, or care... - October 1st 2011, 05:39 AM

Oh hunnie I have done this so many times. My mom has this thing where if it's not up to her or she doesn't like it there is no getting around it. The only reason I am home in my own room and bed tonight is because she is out of town. Honestly I think she is just ready to be done with me. She's raised us and now it's time to let us fly sort of thing but I am not ready. My job barely keeps my bills paid and honestly I don't use anything that's not mine here besides some electric and water. I don't barely eat because I don't want to hear complaints. But I'll survive. I'll just have to keep pushing through I guess...
   
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Re: How I wish you could help, or care... - October 1st 2011, 09:43 PM

I'm sorry to hear your mom is like that =( Have you thought about going to college out of state so you can have a break from the stress? It would probably be best, at least you have your own room, you can eat whenever you need to and have good company around you!
Definitely consider it if you can!
   
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Re: How I wish you could help, or care... - October 2nd 2011, 01:52 PM

yeah. I am thinking about it. Thanks for the idea. Idk... I know im not feeling ready but I need to be.
   
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Re: How I wish you could help, or care... - October 12th 2011, 11:25 PM

Your welcome Just think about what is best for you! and follow/create your own path!
   
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