I dont know why to do..

[Rebekah231369]

I just found this website and thought it would be smart to post on here. Sorry if things are spelled wrong. But the first time I SH was June 12th of this year I think then I did it again a few day later. And hadn't done it again since then until 2 days ago. I was home alone and my bestfriend was making me pick between hanging with her or my boyfriend. So I did try to explain to my boyfriend that I hadn't seen my bestfriend in a while and was gonna Hang out with her he got mad at my bestfiend for making me soo upset so he started texting her and she got mad at me then. And about a week ago she was making me pick between her and my other friends too. But 2 days ago she pushed me to far. I screamed and walked around it didn't work I had enough so I walked to my room grabbed my scissors and scratch my arm two different places. I already have scars and im so scared to tell anyone about doing it again since only my boyfriend and bestfriend knew about it before I promised them I wouldn't do it again. I'm so scared to tell then and I dont want anyone to see my scars.. I don't know what to do.. Can someone please help me?? And does anyone know how to make scars go away faster?? Please help me. Also I know it's silly to use scissors so does that still count as SH?

STAY STRONG <3 even when it's hard...

[Palmolive]

Hi there

I am really sorry that things have become so bad for you that it's made you result in self harming. It sounds like you're in a sticky situation right now and I am really glad that you have posted in the forums. I think that's great!

It doesn't sound like this friend is much of a friend if she is making you pick between her and other people. If I had a friend who had other friends as well as me, I definitely wouldn't expect them to even consider choosing me or them and I don't think it's fair on you at all. Have you tried talking to this friend about what she is doing and how it is making you feel? If not perhaps that would be a good place to start. Maybe she doesn't realise what she is making you do.

As for the self harming, yes, you hurting yourself with scissors is still classed as self harm because you picked up those scissors, planning on intentionally hurting yourself. What ever way you do that, it's self harm. I wish I could change the way you feel because you honestly don't deserve to put yourself through the pain of self harm. And I honestly believe that this could just be a slip up. You said you haven't done it in a while and you have only done it this once again and I really want to encourage you to try and keep it that way an instead of getting upset or worried about the fact that you did self harm, use it to motivate yourself to start being self harm free again. So try your best not to look at this as a negative but use it as positive experience to help you start over again. I know that's really hard and if you want to have someone to talk to while you're trying to beat urges or anything then you are more than welcome to PM me anytime.

I hope this helps. You can do this.
Jessie x

[Rebekah231369]

Thanks that actually helped me. I had talked to my mom an other friend about everything (no SH) and they honestly had no idea what to do. I want to talk to my friend about it but I don't want her to get ma at me and she is the kind of person if I told her how he has made me feel she would get soo mad at her self and she did SH a few times back when I did and we both had stopped. I don't want thi to trigger anything for her. It's just a tough spot ya know. Do you think I should tell my boyfriend or other friends that I promise I would talk to them if I felt like SHing again?

[Palmolive]

Hi there :-)

i'm glad it helped a little!

Ah, well it's good you've spoken to people about that. I can understand you might have a fear of her getting mad if shes typically that kind of person because it's hard when someone gets mad at us. It's unpleasant ans to be blunt can make us feel crap, but the way she's treating you isn't okay and it's making you upset in which case I think you need to face that fear and confront her any way.

If your friends have offered their support with regards to the self harm then take it. They're your friends and they're there to help you. They clearly care about you and by you letting them in means you have one more person to help you through this and right now I think you could use all the support you can get! You definitely deserve it!

I also just thought I would send you this link. Keep yourself distracted when you get urges! Thats the main key to beating self harm because if you sit there with the urges thinking about it and about bad things, you're more likely to give in to the urges, so keep your self busy when you're in that tough moment!

Take good care,
Jessie xxx

[Rebekah231369]

Hey I just thought I would let you know I havt talked to her about my SH yet but I haunt been talking to her as much and I feel better lately. I told my boyfriend about it and he wasn't mad at me but upset I didn't call him or anything before doing it. He said it kills him knowing I woul feel so upset I would want to hurt myself. I've been SH free for 16 days now and I'm happy about that. But a few days ago I found out my dad was movin out this weekend... The only thong keeping me from SHing really really bad is my boyfriend.... and I don't want him to hate me and I really don't want to have totalk to him about it..