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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Myla Offline
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Stupid promise - December 1st 2011, 01:32 AM

I made a promise to my Cole that I wouldn't cut. She used to cut too. She's been self harm free for two years.. Me.. Uhm... Not so long.. but I'm so afraid I'm going to break the promise. I find myself in the position to many times. She thinks it's simple. Just stay away from the blades. She doesn't realize I never used blades or knifes.. Ok maybe once.. But I prefer other things. Like my nails or a needle or even a led pencil. I carve not cut. I make art into my skin.. Wow I'm sounding more insane by the second.. But idk. It's everyday items I find useful. I'm just really afraid I can't keep my promise. Yes I looked into the alternatives threads but nothing ever helps me. It's the carving art thing into my skin.. I'm just weird.. It's like no one sees me for who I am and this way they start to see who I am on the outside if that makes any sense at all...


A broken heart just proves you did care and you didn't lie. A broken heart just proves your human. A broken heart just proves your still alive even though you feel dead inside </3
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Re: Stupid promise - December 1st 2011, 03:53 AM

I used to do that too, with little things like pins or sewing needles. Now, however, I'm a convert to pens. Their ink is a healthier substitute to the alternative, and can make beautiful art. If it's red ink, it looks fairly similar, but is much less harmful. I believe you can keep your promise, but you have to stay strong and motivated for strong, meaningful (for you) reasons. It's not weird to view cutting as art, because if it makes you feel in any certain way, it is art. But other activities can make you feel in a certain way, too. You just have to find and pursue them.

And people not seeing you for who you are on the inside does make sense. It makes a lot of sense. I've had people idolize/idealize and hate on me before, extremes for reasons that I felt the "real" me had nothing to do with. If you want to change their false impressions of you, you're going to have to let them know more about you, the "real" you. Open up to them more, tell them your honest views on things and how you feel they don't know the "real" you (and then, your idea of the "real" you). Over time, some of them may realize that their impressions were wrong and reevaluate. Others may fight the contrast, but at least they'll have a new take on you in their thoughts, even if they don't agree with it.

I recommend trying a few more of the alternatives, the ones (if any) that stick out and appeal to you. See where that gets you. If you're interested in the alternative idea at the start, you are more likely to follow through with it.

I hope this helps. PM me if you'd like to chat; I'm always up for it. : )


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Last edited by Akito; December 1st 2011 at 06:04 AM.
   
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Re: Stupid promise - December 1st 2011, 08:02 PM

I wish it were that easy. It's just not. I went through every single alternative listed. Not even kidding..


A broken heart just proves you did care and you didn't lie. A broken heart just proves your human. A broken heart just proves your still alive even though you feel dead inside </3
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Re: Stupid promise - December 1st 2011, 08:03 PM

You can always talk to me if needed, you know how to reach me
   
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Re: Stupid promise - December 1st 2011, 09:18 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Myla View Post
I wish it were that easy. It's just not. I went through every single alternative listed. Not even kidding..
It's not easy. But it is doable. Maybe you could come up with some alternatives on your own? That might help, knowing that they came from yourself.


"Who, being loved, is poor?"
- Oscar Wilde
- - - - - - -
- - - - - - -
"When all you've got is nothing,
there's a lot to go around."
- - - - - - -
"Though hope is frail,
it's hard to kill."
- - - - - - -
HelpLINK Mentor since 1/12/12.
   
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