I can't stop.

[imjustakid_]

My arms are lined with scars that are slowly fading. I should be happy about that, right? Ive been cut free for two weeks! No. Whenever I am going through an incredibly tough time, and I feel like breaking down I look at my arms. I am proud of those scars. They prove that I've survived and I can get through this. That I'm strong. They're fading! They're fading! I have to cut them again. I have to. It's a never ending cycle I'm never gonna stop! I'm just gonna keep cutting and cutting until there is nothing left of me! The worst part is that no one even cares. My friends say that they aren't deep and I'm making a big deal out of nothing. My mom is in the hospital with breast cancer. My dad doesn't give a shit about anything. I have no one. I'm completely alone and I have no idea what to do. I just go everday barely alive and I can't take it any longer. I tried talking to the counselor but she threatened to call my dad. My dad would kick me out. I would be out of the house in a matter of seconds, trust me, he's threatened me before. He says I'm stressing my mom out and I'm the reason he's in the hospital. He thinks it's minor teen problems. IM NOT OKAY. WHEN WILL SOMEONE REALIZE? It'll be too late when they finally realize what they've done to me. I'll be dead.

[IHateFeelingLikeThis]

I'm new at replying to things, but your story really spoke to me. I'm only a few weeks cut free too. I know you think no one cares about you, and you think they never will, but you're wrong, people care. Teachers, family, friends, counselors, sometimes even people that you've never met, I care, even though I have no idea who you are.(: You're slowly destroying your beautiful self. You don't need to make that next cut, you're better than that!((:

[Palmolive]

Hi there.

Firstly well done for being two weeks self harm free because that honestly is incredible and that my friend is something to hold on to because it's proof that actually, you can beat this. Be proud of your scars, because they mean you fought through the hard times you have had and never gave up. And you know that even when they do far away, you still fought, you're never going to forget about what you went through and the fact that you actually got through it and came out the other side.

Why do you feel the need to self harm? Everyone does it for a different reason and I was wondering why you self harm. If you don't want to tell me that's fine, but if you do them I'm all ears.

It can become a viscous cycle but it can stop. The only way for it to stop though is you beating it and fighting it. Which means even when the urges get hard you have to keep on fighting through them which admittedly is going to be difficult but it is possible. When you have urges try distracting yourself as much as you can because keeping yourself busy and your mind occupied can really help. It might be you can beat the urges through just distracting yourself by doing reading, walking, doing art, baking etc. Sometimes you might find other things helpful like crying. What ever helps, do it, read until early hours in the morning until you fall to sleep with out knowing it, cry for hours until you're too tired to cry any more or ever screaming your lungs out, do anything to keep yourself safe and to beat the urges. It's going to be hard, there are going to be times where you have to feel the emotional pain but if you want to beat self harm and get out of that cycle, you have to keep on going because at the end of the day you are the only person who can stop you from hurting yourself. You're in control of your own actions and only you can beat this. Oh and just to make sure you know, whether you're self harming badly or not, it's still self harm and it is still important. I don't think it matters how badly you're doing it, you could still be hurting as much as any other self harmer and you still deserve help and deserve support to beat this.

If you want to talk to me about what's going on in your family then you're more than welcome to shoot me a PM anytime. You're not alone in this, you never will be either. There will always be someone there for you. I really think you need to try talking to someone. Even your counselor. Or even ring a helpline when you feel really bad. Talking to people can be really helpful.

Just keep fighting this. I know it's hard for you but I also know that you can beat it all and get through it all one day. You've already come so far, don't give up now.

Look after yourself.
Jessie