Triggering: i self harm.... but do many of my own forms of it... i want to stop... but i cant. help me please?

[kitkat kati]

i have many forms of cutting...
1. the usual way with a knife or something sharp and cutting your skin open till you bleed.
2. bite myself as hard as i can until i break the skin.
3. dig my nails into my arm
4. choke myself so i cant breathe in hopes that it will last long enough for me to just stop breathing...
5. draw on myself with sharpies in hope of getting ink poisoning.
6. draw on myself with pen or something and press hard enough to leave scratches and sometimes hard enough to bleed.
7. purposely, but make it look accidental, run into things or be a clumsy so i can get a couple scratches or bruises.
8. when exercising i push myself harder and harder so i can pass out in hopes of not waking up.

a lot of those are more suicidal... but i none of them work in the way i hope they will. so its all self harming. i want to stop but its become such a habit that i cant. its like ive become addicted to it. i have scars all over my body and have to continuously hide it. im tired of hiding it and doing it. i want to stop so badly but ive tried so many things and none of it has worked. i need some help and i was hoping that you could give me some suggestions. please.. i really need it.

[Void of Creation]

hey, i know it's hard to stop. just try your hardest. i really don't have much advice, because i stopped before i got too addicted. every time you want to sh, just think of someone you love. a crush, your parents, a friend, anyone! just try to. you may finds it's easier than you think to quit. i'm sorry if this doesn't help.

[minniemouseprincess]

All I can do is tell you to tell someone but you said all the adults you went to didn't really pay attention=( Maybe if you went to the school principal or a friend's parent?

[kitkat kati]

the principal wont do anything considering he does absolutely nothing about anything else... i wont go to a friends parent because they will tell my mom... i cant have that happen... instead i went to a friend of mine... she does it too... but shes a lot worse... i want to help her stop and i want to stop as well... i suggested we stop together and she agreed.... it hasnt been working... we both cheat with our addiction...its like nothing can help...

[minniemouseprincess]

Originally Posted by kitkat kati

the principal wont do anything considering he does absolutely nothing about anything else... i wont go to a friends parent because they will tell my mom... i cant have that happen... instead i went to a friend of mine... she does it too... but shes a lot worse... i want to help her stop and i want to stop as well... i suggested we stop together and she agreed.... it hasnt been working... we both cheat with our addiction...its like nothing can help...

Then you guys need to find a place that may help you both. You can't just give up on this. If you give up, you won't get better and you may get worse. I care and don't want you getting worse. I'm glad you've been trying to get people to do something about it. That in itself is wonderful. But you gotta keep trying. The only other advice I can think of is calling a hotline and asking them what you could do. They give people suggestions all the time, its their job. Here, i'll leave a number here for you.

1-800-704-2433

[Discombobulated]

Hey there,

I'm really sorry things are hard at the moment and that you feel the need to do these thing to yourself.
You don't deserve this pain and it's not a healthy way to deal with your emotions and isn't good for you. I would suggest taking a look at the alternatives thread, these will help to distract you while the urges fade. It is trial and error and therefore not all of them may work for you, but hang in there and you will find one that does.
Life is a beautiful thing, you are young and have so many more opputunities to look forward to and so much left to experience.
I would strongly suggest talking to someone you trust about this, someone that can help you through and perhaps get you some proffessional help.

If you ever want/need to talk, feel free to PM me,
Take care and stay strong,
Charli

[kitkat kati]

i got a new haircut and color yesterday. i started dressing more like i want to as well. its giving me a new confidence. i feel better about myself because i look the way that i want to. theres still some things that i want to change but im working on it. i want to get rid of the scars and stop adding more. i decided to get rid of my razorblades and pocketknives so i cant cut myself. i will eat ice instead of biting myself. i bit my nails down to nothing so i cant dig my nails into my skin anymore. if i feel like choking myself i will pretend to do it to an old stuffed animal instead. i'm still going to let myself draw on myself but im not going to do it in hopes of ink poisoning anymore. i'll do it for the cool designs i come up with and get new ideas for possible tattoos in the future. i wont use pen anymore. i am a clutz in general but i wont let myself do it on purpose anymore. when exercising i will stay at a pace that a friend of mine is going so im not pushing myself too hard.

not only did the confidence help but i went back and read all of this and thought of my reasoning for doing all of this to myself.... i realized that its not really worth it... although it felt good and it felt like i was getting rid of the pain i felt... i was just causing myself more pain... i realized that i before i didnt care if i stopped or not... i realized that i was trying to stop for my friends, not me like i should have been. i realized what i was doing to myself and realized how much i wanted to stop, not because of my friends, but because i wanted to. im more determined now. yes, temptation will be there and i will want to do it again some times, but if i really want this it will stop. i will stop if i really want it. thank you all for the advice you have given me. i guess what i really needed was to realize what i was doing to myself and how i was hurting myself more by doing it. i need to change this asap. thank you for the advice and support. it helped me a lot as well. time to start counting the days of how long i dont. i hope i can make myself and others proud.

[Elliee]

Heyy,

The only way you can really stop is YOURSELF. Letting someone you trust know can help because they can be there to support you, sometimes talking about things helps, even if at the time we say it didn't.. Also as Charli said the 'alternatives' thread is amazing.. I use to sit there for hours and just go through everything one by one and tick them off as I went along, not all of them worked, and even if I did happen to self-harm after, at least for the 2/3/4 hours that I was going through the list, I wasn't doing it.. It slowly gets easier.

If you need someone to talk to, feel free to PM

[kitkat kati]

thanks elliee. i looked at the alternatives thread. it also helped with how i want to change this. it too helped me realize that i dont have to hurt myself. theres a lot of other things i can do to get my anger or depression out instead of cutting or any of these other things that i hope to overcome.