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EmilysInsane Offline
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Unhappy How Do You Tell Your Mother You Cut, If You Lost Your Dad to Suicide? - March 22nd 2012, 01:10 AM

So, I have scars on my wrist, and I've been feeling really strongly lately that it's time to tell my mom. The problem is I don't know how- I was planning to go to the store with her and tell her on the way there or on the way back, but she broke her foot while she was drunk so she couldn't, so I got in the shower and while I was in there I decided to go ahead and just go into her room, close the door, and tell her. However, by the time I got out, she'd gone to our neighbors house. I don't want to miss another opportunity or else I'll probably end up doing it again. So, how do you tell your mom you cut, if you lost your dad because he shot himself in the face? What do I do?
   
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Re: How Do You Tell Your Mother You Cut, If You Lost Your Dad to Suicide? - March 22nd 2012, 01:43 AM

Hi there,

I want to start off by congratulating you for being so strong - and at thirteen years old, wow. You've been through a lot already, and I could only imagine how difficult that has been for you. In addition, you should be extremely proud of yourself for wanting to seek out to your mom. This is undoubtedly the hardest step to overcome, but it seems like you'll pass right through it. Good for you.

Re: how to tell your mom, you're going to have to start being more assertive. Perhaps you can tell her during dinner? That way, you know she'll definitely be there (as she's eating at the dinner table with you, presumably). If there will be other people at the dinner table or if you just don't want to bring it up during this point, perhaps you can do it before bed - when you know she'll be in bed? It's difficult to advise you when I don't know your mom's/your daily routine.

Good luck, though. I hope you find the opportunity to tell her ASAP.


SUP BRO.
   
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Re: How Do You Tell Your Mother You Cut, If You Lost Your Dad to Suicide? - March 22nd 2012, 01:43 AM

tell her this is you asking for help. tell her that you need her love and support to be able to get better. make sure she knows that you aren't going to kill yourself and that you're still there, that you aren't going anywhere.
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Re: How Do You Tell Your Mother You Cut, If You Lost Your Dad to Suicide? - March 22nd 2012, 01:57 AM

Why not wait til, like, a later time at night?? When you can't sleep?? Tell her you just wanna talk, like, one-on-one... ?
   
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Re: How Do You Tell Your Mother You Cut, If You Lost Your Dad to Suicide? - March 22nd 2012, 04:09 AM

Hi Emily,

I'm so sorry about the loss of your dad....

I think it's great that you're ready to tell mom how bad you've been feeling and what you've been doing. I understand why you'd be sensitive to telling her this while both of you are still grieving. But, your need for help here and her reassurance takes precedence. If anything, she will at least feel she has some control over the outcome with you, so she's more likely to hear you and help you get to a doc.

There's no 'Right' or 'Better' way of sharing this, one of the things that might help given her unavailability when you finally decided to tell her is to let her know when you see her, maybe in the AM over breakfast, that you need to talk with her later and wanted to know what time she'd be available. Sorta like giving her the heads up so she can be aware of your need to talk (without knowing what) so she's prepared and available.

When you get to that point, take a deep breath, maybe hold her hand, and just let her know how badly you've been feeling about everything and what you've been doing....and that you need her help getting to a doc.


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