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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Jeeajm123 Offline
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I don't know what to do anymore... Please help me!! - April 7th 2012, 03:55 AM

I don't know what to do anymore. I have been wanting to commit suicide since August and I have been cutting myself for over a year now. I don't want to have these feeling and I don't want to cut myself but I don't know how to control it. The only people who know about all of this are my two best friends. I made the, promise that they couldnt tell anyone, and they haven't. I know some people would think that they are bad friends for not telling anybody to get me help but I don't really want help. I want to stop it on my own. I have tried so hard to stop cutting myself. I went about two weeks and then I started doing it again. I just don't know what to do. And my mom doesn't know that anything is going on. But I hardly see her anymore so how would she know. But there is a teacher at my school who is worried about me. She found me after school one day and she started crying she was so worried about me. I want to tell her so bad but then I know she would have to tell my mom. I just need some advice because I am stuck.
   
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Re: I don't know what to do anymore... Please help me!! - April 7th 2012, 10:42 AM

Have you considered throwing away the things you cut with?
Having them near you, or accessible, makes it more likely that when you want to cut, you will. It's called having "open doors". If you close the doors, it's less likely that you will self harm.
I understand that it's a difficult thing to do though.

You said you want to stop on your own, which is great - it really is - there are a large number of people who self harm who don't want to stop, so it's genuinely good that you do. It's not an easy thing to do, especially as it sounds like you're going through a really rough patch. I'd link you to the "alternatives" sticky but I'm sure as you've posted on this forum you've probably already seen it.

I am glad you have such good friends. Is texting or calling them when you feel like cutting an option? Sometimes just distracting yourself is enough to get past the urge.

Although I understand that as a minor, if you tell any adult, they have an obligation to inform your parents, I'd like to encourage you to talk to an adult ANYWAY. Having people find out is scary, you have to deal with their reactions and all that, but in the long run it's beneficial as you can then turn to those who you trust for help. They may even be able to refer you to someone who specialises in helping people with issues like yours - because although stopping on your own is your preference, it's a lot easier to manage self harm when you have someone to talk to about it.

I hope this was of some help. Good luck.
   
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Re: I don't know what to do anymore... Please help me!! - April 7th 2012, 10:05 PM

Thanks for the advice. I know I should tell her and I am really thinkng about it I just don't know how. To be honest I would rather her tell my mom than me tell my mom because I have been having a lot of trouble with her and I think it might be better that she hear it form someone else instead of me. But I think I am going to tell my teacher.
   
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Re: I don't know what to do anymore... Please help me!! - April 7th 2012, 10:28 PM

Hi Chloe,


First off, welcome to TeenHelp!
It is really great you want to tell her and that you have figured out that telling your teacher would be best compared to you talking to your mom.
You can tell your teacher in one of two ways.
You can talk to her about it or you can write her a letter explaining that you cut and you would like her to tell your mom so that you can get help.
She also may talk with the school counselor or nurse to see if they have any resources for you as well.
I hope this reply helps and you can send me a message if you ever need anything.
Take care.
   
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Re: I don't know what to do anymore... Please help me!! - April 7th 2012, 10:39 PM

Thanks. I think I am going to write a letter and tell her everything that's been going on. I'm just really scared to do that.
   
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Re: I don't know what to do anymore... Please help me!! - April 7th 2012, 10:52 PM

It is a really scary thing to do but I know you can do it!
Ignore the fear of what could happen, how people could react or any other things you are nervous about.
Keep telling yourself you are doing this because you have to and because you want to stop hurting yourself and learn better ways of coping.
Fear can be hard to get past but the more and more you practice at conquering it, by doing things like this, the easier it will be to deal with in the future.
   
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Re: I don't know what to do anymore... Please help me!! - April 8th 2012, 01:29 AM

I started writing the letter to my teacher. Well actually to is the second one because I ripped the first one up because I started thinking about her reaction and I got scared. But I'm not planning on ripping this one up.
   
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Re: I don't know what to do anymore... Please help me!! - April 8th 2012, 04:49 AM

Hi Chloe,

I agree that you need to tell an adult, you need to get to a doc who can help you understand this and make it stop.

This isn't a control struggle, with you 'Needing' to do it on your own, don't make it into that. Rather, this is a very serious and very scary thing going on, and you've lost control and need to reach out to some adults and let them help you. The scary part is that you're on your own, alone here with these self destructive impulses. You will likely feel a sense of relief when you finally share.

How? That's the easy part! Just tell them what you've said here, that you've been really unhappy for a really long time and you've started to cut yourself..and show them. They will know what to do and what to say.

This is absolutely, positively the right advice, too...I am really sure of it. Strength isn't always doing something on your own, it's knowing when to ask for help, and this is really one of those times. Be strong, tell!

Let us know how it goes...


PM me with the link of the post you'd like me to respond to.
   
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Re: I don't know what to do anymore... Please help me!! - April 8th 2012, 04:55 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeeajm123 View Post
I started writing the letter to my teacher. Well actually to is the second one because I ripped the first one up because I started thinking about her reaction and I got scared. But I'm not planning on ripping this one up.

That is okay. Tearing paper is a great alternative actually and let us know what happens when you give her the letter.
   
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