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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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littlejoker Offline
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There going to want to check for cuts? - April 15th 2012, 07:43 AM

Last night I was angry and stressed and I took it out on myself, the top of my arms, my wrists and on my hips and sides are covered with cuts, it was stupid and now I know my foster parents and going to want to check to see if I had cut because they knew I was upset last night. The cuts aren't very deep but the ones on my side are and you can tell they are. I don't know what to do, there already upset because of everything that happened because of my brother and now there going to get more upset and I'm going to dissapoint them again. I don't know what to do. They are going to be mad at me and so is my social worker and I don't know want to move to a different foster home or a group home, I only just feel settled in this one.
   
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littlejoker Offline
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Re: There going to want to check for cuts? - April 15th 2012, 07:53 AM

I also need to try and get blood out of a white tank top because one of the cuts on my side must of been bleeding through the night.
   
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Re: There going to want to check for cuts? - April 15th 2012, 01:20 PM

Hi Becky,

I know this probably isn't what you want to here, but it might actually be a good thing that your foster parents know you've cut. However, if you know they're going to check anyway, how about you tell them in advance that you've self harmed? They'll probably prefer it if you're honest and they don't have to find out by seeing for themselves. I think a letter might be a good idea, because then you can write down all your thoughts in the "right order" and include everything you want to say, without being interrupted. Also, it gives your foster parents time to "calm down" and think of a way to help you instead of expressing their shock as anger or some other unhelpful emotion- or making a rash decision.

You haven't disappointed them. This isn't your fault. You don't self harm just because you wanted to hurt them, did you? Sure, they might be a little upset, but only because they care about you and don't want you to hurt. They might not fully understand self harm, and so maybe if you wrote a letter you could include some useful links to websites with more information about it. Then, when they do respond, they'll be able to talk about this in an educated way, rather than getting angry because they don't understand.

It sounds like your foster parents already probably suspect something if they're checking you for cuts though. Have you ever been to a doctor about this? Sometimes talking this through with a therapist can really help, and they'll be able to give you ways of controlling your emotions without hurting yourself. You don't deserve to hurt, you deserve to be happy.

I'm also going to send you a link to the alternatives thread. Have a look through here and pick a few to try whenever you want to hurt yourself. It won't be easy, but hopefully your foster parents might help you.

Good luck Becky. I'm always here for you, WE are always here for you. You are not alone in this. Take care.

-Laura


Chin up kid, they'd kill to see you fall.
   
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Re: There going to want to check for cuts? - April 15th 2012, 01:21 PM

I'm guessing they know you have cut before? Otherwise they probably won't check. But if they do, it could be a blessing in disguise. I'm not sure of your situation but it's more likely they would be concerned for you and want you to get some help rather than be mad at you. And I doubt you'll be moved from them just because you cut yourself! I know when you're upset you automatically think of the worst but chances are it won't be as bad as you think. Try not to stress too much about what theyll think or do with you, just focus on getting help and finding someone you can talk to about things. I wish you best of hope, stay strong. You can pm me if you want.
   
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Re: There going to want to check for cuts? - April 15th 2012, 01:42 PM

As horrible as it sounds, it might be a good thing that they find out. It means that they will get a full reality of what you are feeling which most people don't understand. As for moving homes if you genuinely want to stay then if you convince them that you don't self harm because of the home and that you are happy and settled that should help your case a lot. But in all honesty I don't think they would get rid of you because you have a problem.
To get the blood out of the tank top you could scrub in with carbolic soap and boiling water but I think you should leave it because when they see the cuts you don't want them to think you are hiding anything else.
   
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