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View Poll Results: Am I being ridiculous/mean/unfeeling?
Yes!! 2 40.00%
No... 3 60.00%
Voters: 5. You may not vote on this poll

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
HarmonicToxin Offline
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Angry Advice on how to stay...sane and patient? - September 1st 2009, 12:45 AM

So, I'm a senior in high school. I've always been an only child, so I really didn't ever understand what other people meant when they told me how horrible their siblings were. Also, I tend to be a bit selfish and I don't usually want to share my stuff (yes, I know it's embarrassing for a 17 year old, almost 18, but I've had people destroy and damage my things before). SO anyway: my mom and I are the only ones at home. I know how to deal with my mom and her Bipolar/Manic Depression. That's no longer really a problem for me. The real problem is...someone we've taken in for a week.

There's this Sophomore at my school. She's got Asbergers, ADHD, and depression. Now, I'm not really used to having people without those disabilities in my home, much less someone this needy. This girl, let's call her Mikayla, well this girl...when she first came over, she wanted my attention constantly. Her mom has gone to Florida for 2 weeks, and she can't stay home with her Step Dad since she hates him and refuses to deal with it. Anyway, so she's staying with me and my mom for 2 weeks (one now). Last Thursday, she had sinus problems at midnight. She woke me up and asked me to get her medicine, so I went to ask my mom what I could give her. In the 2 minutes that I was talking to my mom, Mikayla WENT THROUGH OUR MEDICINE CABINET!!!! NO ONE should EVER do that ESPECIALLY in someone ELSE'S HOUSE! So I told her she couldn't have that medicine because I didn't know how it would react with her other meds, and she proceeded to argue with me for 5 minutes on how she knew all about her medicines and told me the sinus med wouldn't effect her badly. I insisted on Claritin instead. Then, last Friday, she felt sick during school, and I ended up having to drive her home during 3rd and 4th periods. It was a HALF DAY. It just annoyed me that she couldn't deal for a half day, and then I was told by my mom that Mikayla was staying up playing video games instead of sleeping. Then I come home to find out that Mikayla went behind my mom's back and took the medicine I specifically told her not to!!

IT ANGERS THE HELL OUT OF ME!! I'M SORRY, BUT I'M PRETTY SURE SHE WASN'T RAISED IN A BARN! I DON'T CARE IF SHE HAS ASBERGERS, YOU DO NOT GO THROUGH SOMEONE ELSE'S MEDICINE CABINET AND JUST HELP YOURSELF TO THEIR MEDICINES!!! OUR HOUSE IS NOT A PUBLIC PHARMACY!

*calms a bit*

So, got any advice on how to cope with this? How to get through it? I...I mean...I just feel like if I say anything about anything at all, she'll just get all defensive....which means I can't say anything, cuz my mom will instantly take her side, because she's the 'guest'.
I'm just so frustrated...

Last edited by HarmonicToxin; September 1st 2009 at 12:56 AM.
   
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Re: Advice on how to stay...sane and patient? - September 1st 2009, 01:01 AM

Good luck with that. Seems silly to me, I probably would just be nice anyway... but that's just me. I'm sure most people would prefer to put her in her place.
   
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Re: Advice on how to stay...sane and patient? - September 1st 2009, 01:19 AM

It's just...I don't normally see myself as...being this impatient with anyone. I don't know why it bothers me so much, or why I have so much trouble with her...
   
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Re: Advice on how to stay...sane and patient? - September 1st 2009, 11:41 PM

Well, my cousin has ADHD, depression, and Asperger's so I can say that the fact that she's being so clingy to you is pretty surprising. Normally people with Asperger's tend to stray away from social interaction so she's probably making an effort to be social with you.

My advice is to just be patient with her. I get that you're frustrated, but she's probably feeling out of place and uncomfortable. She probably retrieved some medicine when she thought you weren't looking because she was irritated that you didn't trust her to choose a medicine that wouldn't react with her prescriptions. (I take medication for anxiety, depression, and insomnia and I know that I'd be fairly furious if someone told me I couldn't take something that would make me feel better because of my medication. It's her responsibility to know how her meds react with things, after all.)

I guess that the next time you find yourself getting angry, take a deep breath and just try to see things from her point of view.

She'll be going home before you know it.
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Re: Advice on how to stay...sane and patient? - September 3rd 2009, 01:36 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by LochTessMonster View Post
So, I'm a senior in high school. I've always been an only child, so I really didn't ever understand what other people meant when they told me how horrible their siblings were. Also, I tend to be a bit selfish and I don't usually want to share my stuff (yes, I know it's embarrassing for a 17 year old, almost 18, but I've had people destroy and damage my things before). SO anyway: my mom and I are the only ones at home. I know how to deal with my mom and her Bipolar/Manic Depression. That's no longer really a problem for me. The real problem is...someone we've taken in for a week.

There's this Sophomore at my school. She's got Asbergers, ADHD, and depression. Now, I'm not really used to having people without those disabilities in my home, much less someone this needy. This girl, let's call her Mikayla, well this girl...when she first came over, she wanted my attention constantly. Her mom has gone to Florida for 2 weeks, and she can't stay home with her Step Dad since she hates him and refuses to deal with it. Anyway, so she's staying with me and my mom for 2 weeks (one now). Last Thursday, she had sinus problems at midnight. She woke me up and asked me to get her medicine, so I went to ask my mom what I could give her. In the 2 minutes that I was talking to my mom, Mikayla WENT THROUGH OUR MEDICINE CABINET!!!! NO ONE should EVER do that ESPECIALLY in someone ELSE'S HOUSE! So I told her she couldn't have that medicine because I didn't know how it would react with her other meds, and she proceeded to argue with me for 5 minutes on how she knew all about her medicines and told me the sinus med wouldn't effect her badly. I insisted on Claritin instead. Then, last Friday, she felt sick during school, and I ended up having to drive her home during 3rd and 4th periods. It was a HALF DAY. It just annoyed me that she couldn't deal for a half day, and then I was told by my mom that Mikayla was staying up playing video games instead of sleeping. Then I come home to find out that Mikayla went behind my mom's back and took the medicine I specifically told her not to!!

IT ANGERS THE HELL OUT OF ME!! I'M SORRY, BUT I'M PRETTY SURE SHE WASN'T RAISED IN A BARN! I DON'T CARE IF SHE HAS ASBERGERS, YOU DO NOT GO THROUGH SOMEONE ELSE'S MEDICINE CABINET AND JUST HELP YOURSELF TO THEIR MEDICINES!!! OUR HOUSE IS NOT A PUBLIC PHARMACY!

*calms a bit*

So, got any advice on how to cope with this? How to get through it? I...I mean...I just feel like if I say anything about anything at all, she'll just get all defensive....which means I can't say anything, cuz my mom will instantly take her side, because she's the 'guest'.
I'm just so frustrated...
ok what you have to try understand is that she does have a few conditions there which i am certain are effecting her social well beings,she may not understand what is wrong and what is right.i'm dyspraxic and even with dyspraxia (which is only minor compared to those issues) i find it extremely hard to tell the difference between what is polite to do in someones house and what should be avoided. she may have been arguing with you becase she knew about her medicine and felt that she was being patronised by you who thought you knew better ? i don't know.it's hard to tell. also, when she asked you to drive her home,mabye she was desperate to go home because perhaps she isn't happy at school? i used to do that at school, even if i only had one hour left, i got bullied so badly that i just wanted to leave as quick as possible and i wanted to get home, sometimes i even lied about an illness so i could go home.i don't know if this is what happend, it could have just been she felt soooo ill that she had to go home. i kind of do think you need to stop being a bit harsh and see things from her perspective, life is harder for her,she finds it harder to understand and to deal with social interactions.

to deal with it,i suggested talking to her calmy, mabye spend some time with her first,have a laugh or something and then just sit her down and talk. if not,wait until she does something inapropriate and just calmly tell her it's not polite or respectful to be doing that. don't loose your temper though.plus it's only a week,won't be too long and by the way,i'm selfish too,it's fine to be selfish aslong as your not overly selfish lol.
   
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Re: Advice on how to stay...sane and patient? - September 5th 2009, 06:36 PM

i understand how hard this must be for having somone invading ur space what u nee dto relise is ppl with aspergers hav troble in social situations and reading body langauge so she may not understand that she ur angry u hav to stay calm and tell her how u feel she may still not undertand but it might help dont treat her that differently she not stupid aspergers is a high functioning form of autism there fore she prob got a above anage IQ google aspergers there plenty of helpful sites it only a week !!!
   
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