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Addictive Behaviours Discuss and receive support for addictions not related to substance use, such as gambling, Internet, sex or work addictions, in this forum.

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Morgan-Lee Offline
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Name: Morgan-Lee
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Exclamation Pathological lyinh - May 14th 2014, 02:11 PM

Hiya

I think im a pathological liar and now I think its time to do something about it but im not quite sure in what action to take. Lately things have gotten worse and the lies are getting bigger and worse.

It all started when I was a child I just used to lie about stupid things like who ate the last cookie and everything and things that I had done. It got worse in secondary school I used to lie to get attention and that's all I ever really wanted.

I started lying about things like boyfriends and people I hung around with. I pretended that I went out drinking and smoking all weekends and that I had had sex with countless amounts of people. At first everyone believed me and that's how the lies got worse.

I started lying about MASSIVE things like my mum dying my dad having a brain tumour and getting pregnant.

I've made up fake profiles on facebook and ive made various boys fall in love with me and then I pretended she died or something, I've messed up quite a few peoples lives but I just cant stop lying.

I lie about everything things that have happened in the day what im having for tea things im doing and its starting to get to me.

I have a boyfriend currently but I lie to him all the time trying to make myself better he's in love with my lies not me. I don't even really know who I am I have so many different characters I play ive lost the real me. I even start to believe some of my lies.

if you could help by maybe telling me the best ways to go about getting help or even tell me some of your own stories to help me feel like im not alone

thank you
   
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Laurasaurus Offline
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Re: Pathological lyinh - May 14th 2014, 09:59 PM

Hi there, Morgan-Lee, and welcome to TeenHelp. First of all, I'm sorry that you've been dealing with this. I can only imagine how overwhelming it must feel, but it will get easier. You recognize that the lying is a problem and are willing to reach out for help - that's great, as well as one of the first steps in recovery.

You definitely aren't alone. While I don't experience this problem myself, my brother does. Like you, he too started at a young age and progressed onwards. I also had a friend that lied compulsively. Just because they did/do those things, it doesn't mean that they're bad people - it just means that they have a problem. The same goes for you. They are getting past the lying, and you can too.

Reaching out for help can be hard, but it's harder to constantly deal with your problem. There are many ways that you could go about reaching out for help. You could tell your parents/guardians about what's going on and ask for their support in getting a therapist or a counselor. You could talk to your school counselor about the lying, and they could help you and/or refer you to somebody else that could. If you don't feel comfortable doing this in person, you could try writing a letter or email explaining your situation.

While a therapist/counselor will be able to help you more than anybody, I do know that, at least for those that I know, figuring out the motivation behind the lies can help you. Do you do it for attention? To avoid negative consequences? Because it's habit? Because you want to spare people's feelings? Figuring out the reason why and then dealing with that reason honestly might be of some help to you. Try telling people small truths when you would normally lie. Try telling the truth about what you did in a day. It's okay to start small, but try to work your way up when you're ready.

As far as dealing with those that you care about, I tend to think that people would much rather know the truth than a lie, even if the truth is hurtful. I think you should try to talk to your boyfriend and the people that you talk to on the fake profiles and tell them what's going on. It may help you, and either way, those people have a right to know the truth.

You can get through this. You can get through life without lying, I promise. Generally, lies just make things worse than than the truth (which you probably know). Definitely try to get in for therapy, as a therapist will be able to help you with lying more than anybody else. You don't need to feel ashamed or afraid of therapy - when you find the right one, it can make a world of difference. Good luck, and feel free to PM or VM me (the links are in my signature) if you'd like to talk more.


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