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Addictive Behaviours Discuss and receive support for addictions not related to substance use, such as gambling, Internet, sex or work addictions, in this forum.

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LostSoul15 Offline
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Addicted to seducing my teachers - September 7th 2016, 09:35 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

For last year or so, everyday of school has been filled with my attempts to seduce male teachers. Any male teachers, even not so attractive ones.
I'm in the last year of high school and will be leaving soon but its gotten worse.
I'm very insecure about my looks and very very lonely but when I'm successful at attracting older men I find myself more confident and I feel like a woman. It also lets me get away with things. I was 20 minutes late to class today because I took my time going to the bathroom and getting a drink, the teacher just smiled at me and I sweetly told him I got a little dazed on the way (I'm very knowledgeable when it comes to body language because I research it every night so I know exactly how to be attractive).

Anyway, this is the more serious part.

Recently, I fell in love (or in sexual obsession) with my teacher.
He isn't particularly attractive, sort of small and still has acne, but he always noticed when I was sad or angry and made me happy, made me feel alive rather than how I usually feel (I feel dead inside).No one else could do the things he did.
Its hard to describe our relationship but we would always joke, he basically did my entire GCSE coursework for me (no joke) he made all my projects and I just watched him work and he gave me step by step instructions what buttons to press and what to type, we would talk like equals (not student and teacher) and there would be times when he'd 'accidently' touch my hand and he'd always stand very close. It was like we had an affair without the physical side.

The day before he left the school and I was alone with him in the classroom, it became something more.
He put his arms out and said "I'm going to hug you now" (he's actually quite shy but he pretends to be masculine to make up for his height and little body)
and wrapped them around me.

It felt so good to hold him, he practically crushed the life out of me. I rubbed my cheek against his, feeling his annoying stubble and we pressed gainst each other for a long while.
After that he put his arm around me and we took a photo together.
He squeezed my shoulder, made another stupid but emotional joke and we said goodbye.

I now have him on facebook and we briefly messaged a couple of times. I still look at the photo of us every night before I sleep, trying to bring back what it felt like to hold him.

Oh yeah, and today I got back to school, looked at my folder and found all my GCSE work completed by him so now I don't have to do anything and I get an A.

I'm obsessed with him, I think about him everyday and I keep crying. Now all I have to wake up in the morning for is the memory of him and my inability to stop trying to attract male attention.

Last edited by LostSoul15; September 8th 2016 at 07:21 AM.
   
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Re: Addicted to seducing my teachers - September 7th 2016, 11:43 PM

Maybe is could be caused by a past experience. I have similar issues, though they're also somewhat different. It can be a serious issue at times. Maybe try to talk to a really close friend about it if you're able to. I'm here if you ever need/want to talk. Don't be afraid to say anything to me ever. Best of lucks


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Re: Addicted to seducing my teachers - September 8th 2016, 03:49 AM

it's normal for students to find teachers attractive and mini-crushes on them and whatnot. that's fine.

however, acting on those feelings -- no matter how strong they've become to you -- could firstly become extremely illegal and, as most people would see it, immoral as well.
i know it might be difficult to accept because of how strong your feelings are for this grown man.
however, you are 15. when it comes to love, age can just be a number. however, the same cannot be said about authority positions.
this man is in a job where he has a position of authority over you and every other student. if a relationship was to happen between you two, and someone found out (which almost always happens some way in these cases) he would inevitably be fired and, if sexual things did occur, he could be registered as a sex offender for statutory rape for the rest of his life.

i understand why you might enjoy doing these things, especially to get out of trouble.
however, i don't think it's creating a good environment for you.
i hate to break it to you, but your teacher most likely does just view you as a good and very likeable student. i doubt he wants to lose his job anytime soon, so the thought of looking at you as more than a favorite student probably hasn't even crossed his mind.
it's not very unusual for teachers to hug students on certain occasions.

i know it's hard to do, but maybe try to look for someone around your own age that you might be interested in?
you can also look for older guys who are still in high school, which might be a good compromise for now.

i hope this helped, sorry if i was harsh but i try to tell people what i think they need to hear.
if you have any other questions feel free to PM me.


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Re: Addicted to seducing my teachers - September 8th 2016, 06:32 AM

Thanks for the help, interesting idea about the past life experiences.
Yes, I completely agree with your response Painted_Black , I understand that it's normal to have crushes on teacher and if anything did happen then it would me morally and , by the laws of society, more than wrong.
It makes complete sense that perhaps I am only viewed as a good student , however, it's still confusing about the specific guy I mentioned because he gave off this sort of vibe, it's really hard to explain but I have this sort of thing where I get a feeling and know what someone else is feeling or generally thinking without them saying a word, not psychic, just very intuitive.
But yes, this is probably true.
He isn't actually my teacher anymore btw, he moved overseas a while ago but we're still in touch.
I would try to find someone my age but I have no interest in the males in my year because they're too immature and still behave like children, I'm in the highest year of high school (England High school) so there aren't any older guys.

Hopefully I'll have more luck finding a man in College in a few months.
   
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