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Addictive Behaviours Discuss and receive support for addictions not related to substance use, such as gambling, Internet, sex or work addictions, in this forum.

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Spending money? - March 8th 2018, 07:47 AM

I don't think it's severe enough to be an addictive behavior yet, however, I do enjoy spending money. Like, a lot.
Well no, let me clarify. Spending money stresses me out and I hate giving up my hard earned money. I am constantly stressing and worrying about how I can make more money, at times even looking into terrible options like cam-girling and selling "certain substances". It's not necessary, and I'm certainly not living paycheck-to-paycheck or anything. That's why I haven't actually done those things yet.
I'm constantly checking my Etsy, Ebay, and other selling sites where my listings seem to go unnoticed. Constantly thinking of ways that I can better sell my products and get more money. I also do this one survey website where you get paid very poorly for taking long, tedious surveys. But I've cashed out a few times from there and it gives me a bit of extra pocket money.

So while on one hand I am absolutely obsessed with making money and doing everything I can to make as much as I can... on the other hand, I'm in love with spending it.
About 1-2 times a month I will buy myself clothes. They're not huge, hundred dollar shopping trips. But you know, they do all add up. I don't desperately need new clothes or anything, but of course I love to get them.
I just feel so, so guilty for spending so much money on myself, and even for thinking of spending so much money on myself. I fully support occasionally treating yourself, but.. one time I cited "just treating myself" as an excuse to buy myself extra, unnecessary things three times in a week. (It was just things like a coffee after school or an unhealthy treat after work.) That both makes me feel guilty for buying so much and for buying unhealthy things. AND it wasn't like I did anything spectacular that deserved to be rewarded. I just felt the need to buy myself something.

When I'm shopping for groceries, or anything really, I have to constantly remind myself to only buy the bare minimum of what I truly need. It's just so easy for me to get carried away for some reason.

I don't think I spend money excessively, but it's just a bit concerning that I spend so much money on myself only. I don't know, should I feel guilty? I started thinking about it a lot because my ex commented on how I'm always wearing new clothes or buying new things and it just made me worried that I'm being selfish.


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Re: Spending money? - March 9th 2018, 12:30 PM

I'm wondering if there is a link between how you obsess over making money and spending it e.g. you obsess over it because you want more to spend? Or is it two separate obsessions where you obsess over making money because you like having more, and another where you enjoy spending the money?

It might not be severe enough to be an addiction yet, but your feelings are also plausible. I was reading the other day that when we treat ourselves and spend money and get the things we want, it temporarily makes us happier by giving us a rush of dopamine, I think. And like any potentially addictive behaviour, the more we feel good, the more likely we are to do it again, to get the same feeling.

Should you feel guilty? Maybe not. It's your money that you are earning and it's entirely up to you how to spend it. There's nothing wrong with treating yourself, but it's understandable if you feel you are spending too much, and you end up worrying about how to make more, whether to spend or to make up for it. Other people's opinions don't really count for much when it comes to money because everyone is different. Unless you are choosing to spend money you don't have, or choosing clothes, luxuries etc over necessities like food, bills, then no-one can say that you spend too much.

If it's concerning you, then you could always try to ration your treats, donate some to charity, spend a little on others, or just save it.

You're not being selfish


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