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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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eva-lily-xo Offline
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Name: Evangeline
Gender: Female
Location: My own little world -- the sky is red here.

Posts: 28
Join Date: January 8th 2009

Unhappy A friend of a friend - May 4th 2009, 01:44 AM

My Best friend's boyfriend has been getting abused by both parents for a long time... he was in foster care for a while but that was worse than when he lived home so now he is back with his parents somehow and they still beat him.

I have no idea what to do. He has not told me and he told his girlfriend not to tell anyone and she told me... so I cannot really do anything with out letting him know that his girlfriend told the one secret he asked her to keep.

This is killing me.. I cannot stand hearing about people being abused.. it is just plain wrong and I hate being helpless.... I hate not being in control of a situation and this is a situation where I have no control what so ever in. I mean I cannot even talk to the guy about it because I am not supose to know.

I cannot go to the police because he may end up in another crappy home... I mean at least he knows what he has to deal with where he is now.

I just don't know what to do for him, I don't know what I can do to help him. This is just so hard because his pain hurts my friend because she cares about him so much and hates it when his parents hurt him.

This just feels so pointless to post this but I need advice... or at least something that can make me feel as tho I am not completely useless to him.

I had a counter here tracking how long it has been since I last cut... but I keep screwing up, so I am not going to bother with putting another one up

Last Cut September 13th 2009

Lasted from October 23rd 2007 - March 2nd 2009 before relapsing into cutting... then lasted 3 months and 2 weeks... then I lasted 2 months, 3 weeks and 6 days... trying again. <3
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Emily. Offline
taste the sky
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Name: Emily
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Location: middle of nowhere

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Join Date: February 3rd 2009

Re: A friend of a friend - May 4th 2009, 11:52 PM

Hey Evangeline, I'm sorry that you are having to deal with this. It's hard to know what to do in these situations. I know your worried about breaking people's trusts, but abuse is very serious. I really think you should sit down with both of them and talk about this. Your friend is probably scared to betray her boyfriend, but you get to be more of an objective outsider here. You should talk with him and see if he will tell you what's been going on.

If things are really bad you will probably need to involve some adults you trust. Talking with a teacher or school counselor can be really helpful. They are required by law to report it, but his parents shouldn't be allowed to continue hurting him. Or maybe if your comfortable, talk to your parents about it.

If you are scared to betray your friends trust, you could always leave an anonymous tip with child protective/social services. This way they will look into it, but no one will know it was you.

I hope your doing okay right now and feel free to pm me if you ever need to talk.
<3 emily

"Sometimes it's a struggle to be not who you want to be, not who you used to be, not who you're going to be,
but just being right where you are, who you are"

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