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Drangel Offline
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Insane Mother - May 10th 2009, 09:07 PM

I dont know if this is the right place to put this, but i believe it is...

every year around mothers day, christmas, and holidays like those, my mother can get very, angry towards me and my sister. she is constantly yelling at us at how a let down we are to her, 'specially me cuz i was a mistake child ive been told, and that im just a shit disturber. ive tried to block all this out in the past, and tell my self its not true, but its getting worse, and i dont know what to do....
   
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Re: Insane Mother - May 10th 2009, 09:11 PM

im not shur y she gets that way but your not a mistack no one is im sary that u haf to go thru this but if u ever need someone to talk to im heer
   
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Re: Insane Mother - May 10th 2009, 10:19 PM

You just have to remember that she's not in her right mind, and that whatever she's saying to you, it has no true bearing. Her incapability to cope with everyday life is too much, and so she's lashing out on you (most likely). Just hang in there, and maybe don't stay around the house so much, kay?
   
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Re: Insane Mother - May 10th 2009, 10:33 PM

Kristin,

I'm sorry your mum acts this way towards you and your sister; this isn't fair for either of you, to have to put up with that. This is called verbal abuse - when you lash out at someone with your words. This webpage here has some great information on what verbal abuse is and ways to cope with it. I'd say it's definitely worth giving a look.

Do you know why your mum tends to get upset with you and your sister during the holiday times? Do you think this is something you might be able to talk with her about, to clear things up? Sometimes confrontation can be a huge help; while I'm not saying it's a foolproof method of changing things, and getting everything back on track, it's always worth a try. Sometimes the greatest risk is not taking one, as a close friend recently told me.

Is your dad in the picture, Kristin? Does anyone else live with you, your mum, and your sister? Getting other family members involved in this may help as well; they might be able to talk some reason into her. Sometimes, adults are more likely to listen to other adults than children. Either way though, your mum needs to learn that her behavior is not acceptable under any circumstances. There is no excuse for her telling you you're a mistake child, or saying any of what she says to you.

I strongly, strongly urge you to talk with someone about this, Kristin - a teacher you trust, a school guidance counselor, a religious leader...anyone. It's so important you're not keeping this bottled up inside. Being able to talk about what's on your mind can make such a huge difference in how you cope with all of this, and how you can heal from the past.

If you tell yourself something enough times, you can actually start to believe it. When your mum is angry, make sure to take deep breaths. Raising your voice won't help things any. Try to get away from her when she's not in a good mood - get out of the house, stay with a friend, do anything, so long as you're away from her and safe. If the abuse gets very bad, I'd suggest you seriously consider reporting her to the police or child services - as I said, you shouldn't have to put up with any of this.

Take good care of yourself, ok? I'm here anytime you'd like to talk about anything. Hang in there.



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Re: Insane Mother - May 11th 2009, 03:38 AM

Hey Kristin,

I know it's got to be hard, having someone that gave birth to you saying hurtful things to you. I mean, she's your mother, right? We normally hold our parents opinion very high on the rating scale and they can hurt when we don't get anything positive. Though, just because she's your mom, doesn't mean her opinions are right. Eventually, you have to decide for yourself how much respect she deserves. Sure, she's your mom, but that's a title given for being her direct descendant. You need to decide how much she has done that deserve your respect. Putting you down and calling you names is not something that earns any respect- in my books. Just because she's your mom, doesn't mean her opinions are right or worth listening to.

You are a strong girl for living with her and putting up with such negative surroundings. You are not a mistake. Don't give up okay? You are important and without you the world wouldn't be the same. I admire your strength for continuing in such a negative place. But things don't always have to stay the same. You can always improve things. Be positive okay?

You are 18, so you are legally an adult. You wouldn't need your mother's permission to move out. If you have any other relatives or friends, maybe you can talk to them about moving in? As for your sister, if she is younger, getting her out might be a little harder. You might want to get child services involved. However, I know there are certain homes near me that allow children growing up in hard situations to take up residents until they can afford to stand on their own. Some places are free, some aren't. You might want to call a local hot-line to see if they have any number listings for places I described? Hot-lines can also be a good place to vent to and they might be able to help you find a solution too.

Either way, try and get outside as much as you can when she is taking you and your sister down. Maybe go for walks or talk with your friends. You don't need to take any of this seriously because you are worth more than she says and the fact that you're trying and still going is something very strong. You should be very proud of yourself. If you need anything at all, please feel free to PM me anytime. I'm always here to talk or listen. Take care.

~Stay strong and have faith.


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Re: Insane Mother - May 11th 2009, 11:26 PM

well by looking @ the other posts im guessing your mom is not well in the head. The Holidays might be a triggering time for her that makes her have a mental break. Because most of these holdiays are pretty family based, she might have built up in her head tht her family isnt good enough, which im sure isnt true

idk if this helps. Pm me if u want to talk or need clarification of this confusing message




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