Supporting boyfriend who experienced extreme childhood abuse?
 

My boyfriend, whom i've known basically since the abuse started (i swung in when he was eleven, he was ten when it started) is now out of his situation. He's almost seventeen, as well am I. I don't know very much, except he pushes it away so much. He doesnt let himself think of it. I asked him about it, and he gave me some details. It was pretty bad, and as someone who's known him a very very long time, it hurts me. I just want to know how to help him. He was physically abused by his father, his dad would padlock the fridge so he couldnt eat, Andrew (my boyfriend) would come to school in middle school with long sleeves covering bruises and ace bandages for makeshift treatment of sprains. He was so scared until recently. His dad beat him so bad, he was hurting for weeks after. During this incident, he told me he gave up. He quit. He was going to let his dad kill him. His stepmom stepped in and stopped his dad from killing him. He was choking him. He ended up leaving and going to live with his mom, and that scared him too, because when he was about twelve, he went there, and then a babysitter his mom hired sexually abused him and raped his little brother. He never has told anyone that the man abused him too, even though they asked. He feels like he needs to protect his mom.

I just need to know how to help him. I'm honestly clueless. I've suffered emotional/sexual abuse, neglect, and rape as well, but i never dealt with much physical abuse. I just dont know how to support him, or what to say when he gets down. He gets so down. He worries so bad about me he refuses to worry about himself. it kills me. He wont go to counseling, not right now. We agreed that when he was eighteen that i'd go with him, cause he doesnt want to go alone. But i'm afraid it'll be too late then..

Re: Supporting boyfriend who experienced extreme childhood abuse?
 

Re: Supporting boyfriend who experienced extreme childhood abuse?
 

I try to hang around him a lot but his mom is super disliking of me, it's just bad blood stuff. She wanted my dad, my dad didnt want her, she's bitter. It's complicated. He's essentially grounded because he's with me, so our main form of communication is via letters, but some weekends he gets his stuff so he can play games and lowkey talk to me. I'm definitely holding him to the counseling. He says I help him, by being around him. It makes me happy that I do but theres just so much time when I cant be around him because of his mom and its frustrating.

Re: Supporting boyfriend who experienced extreme childhood abuse?