TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
eat sleep rave repeat
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
FlowerPunkPrincess's Avatar
 
Name: REDACTED
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Location: London girl exiled in Ireland

Posts: 40
Join Date: February 28th 2016

i don't know where to turn - September 2nd 2016, 09:41 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

(thread deals with rape, substances, transphobia, victim blaming)

i'm going to have to be somewhat vague about what happened since i'm really paranoid that someone i don't want to know about this will find this thread somehow and i'm scared enough about this situation without adding more trouble.

basically recently i was taken advantage of by a guy i sort of know. i was vulnerable as i was drunk and not in a good place mentally on the night it happened. i ended up alone with this guy and he forced me into having sex with him. i did not consent but i was too afraid to fight back. so i was raped. and nobody else knows what happened.

i just don't know who to turn to for help. i would go to the city's rape crisis centre, but the reason i'm afraid to is because i'm trans and someone who's very high up in the service is a raging transphobe. i am definitely not comfortable seeking help from them. i'd also be reluctant reporting the rape since i honestly can't see me getting justice. there's no way on earth that the court would rule against a respectable middle class law student and in favour of a trans rape victim who's estranged from her family and i'd be so anxious about reporting it that i definitely couldn't.

and i also just keep blaming myself and i know that anyone i tell will most likely blame me. it's the classic college campus rape case. jock rapes drunk girl and everybody blames her. people will be talking about how much i drank and what i was wearing and i just can't take it. it's bad enough that i'm probably going to see him around campus without everyone else knowing too. i hate myself for what happened and i feel so ashamed and stupid and alone.

i really really just don't know what to do and i needed to get it out somewhere because i don't know if i can bring myself to tell anyone else and i'm struggling a lot and i'm kind of lost
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Special Agent Offline
Staff On Leave

Junior TeenHelper
****
 
Special Agent's Avatar
 
Name: Junior
Age: 24
Gender: Male
Location: United States

Posts: 246
Join Date: August 18th 2016

Re: i don't know where to turn - September 2nd 2016, 11:00 PM

First off, THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT!

I am sorry this happened to you. If you want to talk to someone you can chat online with RAINN (Rape, Abuse, Incest National Networks) It is a sexual assault hotline that offers online chat I will put the link below they can help you find services in your area it is 100% FREE, ANONYMOUS AND CONFIDENTIAL. Although if you want them to help you find services in your area you will need to give them you location just the city and state though.

Also, it does not matter who you are if you report this to law enforcement then it is there responsibleity to believe you and to investigate. Also, there are services available that can help you through that process. They will have a counselor that can come with you to the police station, court and hospital! You don't have to suffer in silence and you should not have to. This is not your fault YOU DESERVE JUSTICE. You are just as important as anyone else.

How you are feeling right now about going to the police and not being believed is NORMAL. You are not alone.

Please consider reaching out to the RAINN Hotline. I think that would be really good for you they will give you information and resources.

Please do not hesitate to PM me if you need anything and keep reaching out!

I hope that you found this helpful.

Here is the link: https://www.rainn.org/get-help

Take Care,

Special Agent


-Jr.


"your present circumstances don't determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start."

-Nido Qubein


Live Help Mentor | HelpLINK Mentor | Forum Moderator

Last edited by Special Agent; September 2nd 2016 at 11:01 PM. Reason: Adding Link (I forgot) :P
   
1 user(s) liked this post or found it helpful.
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Jess~ Offline
Member
Senior TeenHelper
*******
 
Jess~'s Avatar
 
Name: jess
Age: 20
Gender: chick with an imaginary dick
Location: hell

Posts: 908
Blog Entries: 10
Join Date: November 26th 2012

Re: i don't know where to turn - September 3rd 2016, 04:11 AM

first of all, i just want to tell you how extremely sorry i am that this happened to you. nobody -- nobody -- deserves to have their body and their mind violated like this man did to you.

i think the most important thing here to address is the fact that you say you did not consent. however, you later say that you do blame yourself for this.
coming to terms with how much or how little control you had over the situation is by far one of the most difficult things a rape victim can go through in the aftermath of it all. i know it may take you awhile to truly accept this, but i promise you that this was not your fault in the slightest.
and of course people are going to tell you things like, "if you weren't drinking this never would've happened" and they are going to ask what you were wearing and why you were even in that situation in the first place.

HOWEVER, as long as you did not consent, it is not your fault.

hell, even if you DID consent at first and later change your mind and say no, it still would've been rape.
even if you reluctantly gave up and gave in after continuously telling him no, it still would've been rape.

i also want you to know that it's not your fault for not fighting back either. in traumatic situations like this, people either fight, flight, or freeze. it's truly not a matter of what your body could do in the situation, it's more your mind takes control than anything else.
and your mind is only trying to keep you alive -- all three of those reactions are instinctual, and they each serve a purpose in keeping you alive and okay.
so even though you didn't fight back (and a lot of rape victims don't/can't) that doesn't make it any less of a crime that was committed against you.


as far as getting help, i really, really recommend phone hotlines. there are both calling and texting versions so you can use which ever one you feel most comfortable with. even the suicide hotline could offer you some great help, if you choose to explain the situation to them. they're all anonymous so i don't think you'd have to worry too much about anyone finding out it was you.
the suicide prevention hotline that you can call is: 1-800-273-8255
the suicide prevention text hotline is: 741-741-START

i also highly suggest you find the number of the rape crisis center and at least give them a call. i'm not sure how other centers do it, but the one in my city has advocates who will sit there and talk to you on the phone for literally an hour or so, if need be. you don't need to tell them your name, or even if you're trans if you don't want.
but if you have any questions or just need to talk to them, that's a great resource to use. trust me, it's their job not to judge you.


please, if you have any other questions, concerns, or just need someone to talk to, please feel more than welcome to PM me. i've been through it, and i want to help you in anyway that i can, because i understand what's you're going through.



i don't know what i'm supposed to do
haunted by the ghost of you
   
1 user(s) liked this post or found it helpful.
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
turn

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2018, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.