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She is trapping me !! - September 16th 2016, 11:36 AM

Hi all,
I’m in a trap now. I was dating this girl from the past 6 months. We had met online and really started liking each other. We have met a couple of times, and have got physical with each other. Each time we meet, we ended up in bed. Some days ago, she told me that she is pregnant with my child. I was so shocked and didn’t know how to react. I really got angry and shouted at her. I told her to abort the baby, because that’s what I felt as practical. We both are too young now, and I’m still developing my career only. I really can’t think of a marriage now, and baby is just out of question. Moreover, I don’t love her so much that I’m planning to marry her. But, she is just adamant that she wouldn’t abort the baby and she is saying we should get married. And I’m completely against it. We fought with each other and she is saying that I should take care of her, and pay for her expenses. When she realized that I’m not gonna do as she wishes, she has gone so far that she filed a suit against me for sexual assault. She has complained that I used her sexually and now when she got pregnant, I left her, which is actually not the truth. Whatever had happened, it was with her consent only, in fact she was the one who had taken the first step, when I was reluctant. Now, I’m being accused of no reason. On my friends suggestion, I have approached Toronto Defense Lawyers, a criminal defense lawyers here, and they have agreed to take up my case. I’m so confused and angry now. I really wish I had never had this relationship. I don’t understand why she is so adamant on having this baby. Anyway, I just hope that I win this battle and end menace and get her out of my life.

Last edited by newboy; September 19th 2016 at 04:10 AM. Reason: Removing link that directs users offsite.
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Re: She is trapping me !! - September 16th 2016, 03:27 PM

I am going to try to take this step by step
When you found out she was pregnant with your child, I understand where the shouting came from. It sounds like a frustrating situation for sure, as it was unexpected. I think at that point it was important to retain composure and talk about your options instead of tell her she has to abort. It is her child too and while for you , you make the decision on what's practical, she may he basing her decision on other things like emotional and physical experience of aborting a baby living inside her. That's a big decision and while your input is important, you two cannot make the decision in that moment of shouting and pressure and tension.
Now, have you at all considered adoption? That sounds like a middle ground and there are options like open adoption in which bio parents get to have contact and be involved in the child's life just not be the primary parents. Maybe that's something to look into.
Now that she is pregnant, if you leave her and she keeps the child, she will be a single mother. Think about that and what that means for her. All I'm saying is that right now the child she is pregnant with is both of your responsibilities, not just hers. I think it would help if the two of you went back to planned parenthood together and spoke with a person there who can discuss options with you.

I was not there when it happened so I cannot say who sexually assaulted whom. If she said you're did that to her and you're saying no, it was the other way around, thats difficult to come to a conclusion. At the beginning of the thread you mentioned the two of you "ended up in bed together" and at the end of the thread you're saying it was "her consent only" and that you were reluctant. Can you please clarify if you feel she sexually assaulted you?
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Re: She is trapping me !! - September 20th 2016, 03:22 AM

I am not sure I am clear so let me see if I have it right. You and this girl met and had sexaul relations and then she got pregnant. You told her to abort the baby and she said no. Instead of just going after you for child support she is claiming that you used her sexually/raped her?

If I have it right, do you have you conversations saved? I believe you met online so I am guessing that you talked on skype or something else. I know skype saves messages even if you don't ask for it. If you have those messages take them to your lawyer be that someone you paid for or a public defender. Hopefully there will be things in those messages that prove she is lying. If you have any type of proof on any of your social media or texts then print it out.

I would also suggest that you get a paternity test when the baby comes so you will be certain that you are paying child support for a child that is yours. The rest, is up to you. You can pay child support and not be a part of the child's life or you could go to court and try to get custody. But, if the child is yours you will have to pay.

Hopefully, this girl will come to her senses and stop lying. I am wishing you the best.

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