TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Svetlanavolkova Offline
Svetlana Volkova
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
Svetlanavolkova's Avatar
 
Name: Svetlana Volkova
Age: 19
Gender: Female
Location: Vermont

Posts: 203
Join Date: May 16th 2016

Exclamation Back in Russia - July 3rd 2017, 03:02 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of rape or abuse, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I recently came back to Russia with my father. If you haven't seen my other posts, I've been heavily abused by him. I came back because I felt guilty and obligated. Even though he's abused and threatened be badly, he's always apologized and showed me affection afterwards. I don't really understand this, but I just felt compelled to leave with him. If I haven't mentioned this before I became pregnant with his child when I was extremely young. My child is safe and not with me, but I feel trapped with my father. I want to care for him and love him but don't know how. I'm confused and I just need advice. He has continued to abuse me.


   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Celyn Offline
~One Skittles Minion~

Jeez, get a life!
***********
 
Celyn's Avatar
 
Name: Holly
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: Wales

Posts: 5,358
Blog Entries: 149
Join Date: June 16th 2009

Re: Back in Russia - July 4th 2017, 09:48 PM

It must be confusing for you to be in this situation with your dad. Despite him abusing you, he apologised and showed affection and you have mixed feelings about all of this. Part of you feels guilty and obliged to be with him, and part of you wants to care and love him.

If your dad is currently abusing you, then is it possible to get away from him safely? Your safety matters the most here, and despite how apologetic your dad my be afterwards, it's no excuse for his behaviour.

It's understandable that you would want to love and care for your dad, and to want to build up a relationship. But at the same time, only your dad can change his behaviour and stop abusing you. Until this happens, it may be difficult for you to love him, and you may end up in a cycle of him abusing you, and apologising, leaving you feeling guilty.

Whatever you feel is totally fine, and there is no 'right' or 'wrong' way to feel. Just remember that all types of relationships require effort from both people, and that you can't change people either.


HelpLINK and Live Help Officer
Feel free to PM me! Even if I canít help, Iím always going to listen <3
SKITTLIFY!

   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Svetlanavolkova Offline
Svetlana Volkova
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
Svetlanavolkova's Avatar
 
Name: Svetlana Volkova
Age: 19
Gender: Female
Location: Vermont

Posts: 203
Join Date: May 16th 2016

Re: Back in Russia - July 5th 2017, 01:27 AM

He does still abuse me.


   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Celyn Offline
~One Skittles Minion~

Jeez, get a life!
***********
 
Celyn's Avatar
 
Name: Holly
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: Wales

Posts: 5,358
Blog Entries: 149
Join Date: June 16th 2009

Re: Back in Russia - July 5th 2017, 01:48 PM

I'm sorry to hear that. Do you think maybe some distance might help between you and your dad at the moment? Perhaps when you are at a safe distance away from your dad and his abusive behaviour, then maybe you can consider whether you want to try to have a relationship with him or not? Some people find that having a distance between themselves and their parents can help the relationship, especially if there were difficulties before.

Make sure that whatever you decide to do, is on your terms. Think about what you really want, rather than what you feel obliged to do or feel that you have to do out of guilt.


HelpLINK and Live Help Officer
Feel free to PM me! Even if I canít help, Iím always going to listen <3
SKITTLIFY!

   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Svetlanavolkova Offline
Svetlana Volkova
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
Svetlanavolkova's Avatar
 
Name: Svetlana Volkova
Age: 19
Gender: Female
Location: Vermont

Posts: 203
Join Date: May 16th 2016

Re: Back in Russia - July 5th 2017, 03:41 PM

It's difficult because I don't have anyone willing to help me.


   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
DeletedAccount24
Guest
 
DeletedAccount24's Avatar
Edit avatar
 

Posts: n/a

Re: Back in Russia - July 5th 2017, 10:16 PM

I just checked what the AoM (Age of Majority) is in Russia and it's eighteen. Until your eighteenth birthday, can you stay with a friend but keep in touch with your father from a safe distance? I know the Age of Majority pretty much defines what you can do as an adult of age (18 in the case of Russia) but there might be exceptions that can be made. You probably don't want to get your father in trouble with your confusing, conflicting feelings. I would suggest reaching out to a friend and if you have none in Russia, then back in the United States. They may be in another country, but you might know someone who is well-equipped with legal processes of such things.
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
Svetlanavolkova Offline
Svetlana Volkova
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
Svetlanavolkova's Avatar
 
Name: Svetlana Volkova
Age: 19
Gender: Female
Location: Vermont

Posts: 203
Join Date: May 16th 2016

Re: Back in Russia - July 6th 2017, 02:04 AM

I don't have friends in the U.S either but I will try to figure something out.


   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
back, russia

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright ©1998-2018, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.