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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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midnightcrisis Offline
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Name: Terra Richards
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Angry Living With My Abuser - August 20th 2017, 11:22 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of rape or abuse, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

My ex-stepbrother still stays with my dad about half of the time because his parents suck... my dad doesn't like him because of what happened, but he lets him stay so that maybe he can get the d-bag to a place of not being an awful person. He burned my sister, molested/abused me and it's so hard not to retaliate with him when I see him so much. He's not supposed to talk to me ever but he does sometimes (nothing much just when we're in same group conversations) and it drives me nuts. Why should I have to hide in my room from him? He's the one who fucked up, not me. Why can't I remember that? I just don't know how long I can go without relapsing and/or punching him in his stupid face.
   
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Re: Living With My Abuser - August 20th 2017, 01:08 PM

You certainly shouldn't have to hide in your room from him because it is your house, too. But, if you need time to cool down or you need a place to feel safe and away from him, your room is definitely a good place to utilize. Feeling safe is a priority so it can seem like hiding for him but you are ultimately doing what is best for you.

If you get triggered talking to him in group conversations, maybe you could avoid those conversations or pretend like you need to do something (forgot something in your room, have to use the bathrooom, etc) to avoid them.

Living with your abuser can be really hard. It can make it more difficult to work on your experiences, and it often brings back a variety of different feelings that may have happened during the abuse. You're right in that he is the one who messed up and not you. You did nothing wrong.

Maybe you can find some ways to release your anger. You can exercise, punch a pillow, scribble hard into some paper or rip paper up. You could write a letter to your ex-step brother and tell him how you feel and then find a creative way to destroy that letter. You could also keep a journal or blog about your feelings so they are no longer kept in your head. That can help over time.

You can do this. I am around if you need anything.


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