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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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Is my mom molesting me or teaching me? - December 6th 2017, 03:08 AM

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Okay so first instance of 'abuse', my mom would touch my 'downstairs lady parts' when i was little and told me what they were called. Whenever I go bra shopping she puts her hand inside my bra and cups my 'upstairs lady parts' to make sure it fits. She also used to drag me by my ears when I was younger.

Okay now my dad, this one is simple, he hit me a couple days ago, but only once. It didn't leave a bruise but it hurt.

I know people have it way worse which is why I don't consider it abuse. Is it abuse?

BTW all of this happened after I told them to stop or not to do it again, obviously
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Re: Is my mom molesting me or teaching me? - December 6th 2017, 02:19 PM

Well based on your post, Since you said this happened after you told them to stop then yes i think your mother is sexually assaulting you, Does she keep on doing it still? Have you told her to stop and she still keeps on doing it?
And from your father if he hits you and he won't stop then yes thats considered abuse. If he ever hits you and your bleeding or have any bruise i advice to report it , or just call the police.

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Re: Is my mom molesting me or teaching me? - December 6th 2017, 02:24 PM

It's inappropriate and could be abusive.

There was no need for your mom to touch your body to teach you what certain parts were called. She could've given you that information in terms of talking about it or given you a book that has labelled parts of the body. And the same with bra shopping, there was no need for her to touch your breasts to see if the bra fits. If she wanted to be sure that the bra fits she could've asked you if you think it fitted or it if it was too small/big, or take you to be professionally fitted to be sure.

Dragging you by the ears and hitting you could be considered as physical abuse. It may have been the once, it may not have left a mark, but there was no need for it. Even if it was supposed to be a punishment for something, there are other ways of to discipline children without needing to physically hurt them.

It's good that you told your parents not to do it again, and I'm sorry to hear that they didn't listen to you. But even if you hadn't told them, they have no right to touch you or treat you like that.

When it comes to abuse, it doesn't matter if others have it worse or not. What matters is how you feel about it.

Do these things still happen? You may want to consider trying to avoid going bra shopping with your mom and tell someone that you trust about how your parents treat you instead.

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Re: Is my mom molesting me or teaching me? - December 6th 2017, 03:19 PM

It sounds like your parents are abusing you. As it has been said, there is no reason for your mom to touch your body to tell you what your different body parts are called. She could have educated you about your body in a different way. There is also no reason for her to touch your breasts to see if the bra fits; it seems like she could be using that as an excuse to touch you.

These different things that have been done to you are entirely inappropriate and there's no excuse for that kind of behavior. Perhaps you could consider talking to someone you trust about what you're going through.

In the meantime, maybe you can find a healthy outlet to express your feelings so you don't have to keep them inside your mind. You can write or express yourself through art, for example. You can do this.

Feel free to let me know if you need anything.

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Re: Is my mom molesting me or teaching me? - December 7th 2017, 08:09 AM

Personally, yes, I think that this is abusive. There are people who have a lot of trouble respecting boundaries and their disregard for those boundaries is abusive or comes really close.

You expressed to them that you did not want them to continue doing these thing and they chose to disregard that. The fact is that even if your parents did not believe that what they were doing was wrong, they should be acknowledging that you are uncomfortable and try to respect your boundaries.

I think that you should consider finding a trusted adult to talk to about all of this. You deserve to have adults in your life who will support you and try and help you get to a better place.

I am wishing you the best of luck.

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Re: Is my mom molesting me or teaching me? - December 13th 2017, 01:13 AM

It's very very weird that's for sure. I'd potentially say yes it is molestation based on the fact that you've already told them to stop.. Have you spoken to anybody else about this? Grandparents?
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