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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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Bill Mather
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Exclamation The Cage - May 29th 2009, 02:15 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of rape or abuse, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

So when I was in sixth grade i really liked this girl. Anyway I will get to the reason why it isn't in Relationships and Dating... So I went to a different school for seventh eighth and high school than her. I was thinking and have been thinking about her a lot now. When I was in seventh or eighth grade I was reading the newspaper and I saw an article with her last name in it. I started to read it because I was curious. It explained that her dad had every night made her strip down naked. This isn't the end... After that he locked her in a dog kennel where she would spend the night. One time her dad made her stay in there for three days. So I read on and it said that the dad would hurt her if she ever told anyone what he was doing. Anyway now I am a Junior in High school and it is coming back and I want to find her so bad. Is this a bad thing? I am going to the newspaper tomorrow and seeing if they have the article still and then I might get a PI to find her or try to do it myself. Is it wrong what I am doing?


YOU WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT IS AROUND THE CORNER IF YOU NEVER GO AROUND THE CORNER
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Re: The Cage - May 29th 2009, 09:11 PM

No, I don't think it's wrong, as long as it doesn't come to the point where you are stalking her. You care about her, and just want to help. You want to get to know her better. There's nothing wrong with that.





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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: The Cage - May 29th 2009, 10:49 PM

Hey,

Its great that you're concerned. Its horrible what people do, like her father. I'm deeply sorry that she has gone through this.

I just want to make note of a few things, subjects like this are very hard to talk about so if you do find her, try to be sensitive about the subject especially because you haven't spoken with her in a long time.

One of the first things you could do is give her the link to teenhelp.org

This is not wrong as long as you're careful and you don't make her tell you anything she doesn't tell you on her own. Its best to let her know how you came about finding the information and to just let her know that if she needs anyone she can talk to you and she can have your trust.

I hope you come into contact with this girl and I truly hope she can make the best of her life despite what she's been through.

Good luck,

-Christina

ps. try searching myspace and facebook.


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Re: The Cage - May 30th 2009, 10:11 PM

If you find her, you're going to be dealing with a very hurt person and the reaction you get, even though you want nothing but to help, is very unpredictable. She may not want to have anything to do with anybody who knows her story, or she may act like nothing happened and have a bad reaction if you bring up the subject. The fact that this came out in the paper may mean that she's getting help and she's dealing with a lot of difficult stuff with her counsellor.

It's commendable of you that you're concerned about her, but the best thing you could do is listen. People talk about what they need to talk about and if she needs to talk about it with you she will. If you find her, and she wants you around the best you could do is just to be there and treat her with respect.
   
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Re: The Cage - May 30th 2009, 10:12 PM

Hey,

I don't see anything wrong with contacting her, so long as you aren't stalking her or anything. There's nothing wrong with being worried about a friend, and you're a good person for wanting to help her and make sure she's ok.

Try myspace and facebook, as Christina suggested. Try googling her name, or if you think she still lives in the same town, you might be able to find out what school she goes to. And when in doubt, there's always sites like whitepages.com, you can search her name or the name of whoever she lives with and find out where she lives and what her home number would be. Do you still keep in contact with any old friends, mutual friends? Could you ask anyone about how she's doing and where she is?

If you can't find the article, try going online - most newspapers have archives, you might have some luck there.

Good luck, I really hope everything works out. Take care of yourself. <3



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Re: The Cage - June 1st 2009, 03:33 PM

Hey (:,

I don't think there is anything wrong with trying to contact old friends as long as you keep it in the friendly non-stalker range. If you can't find her through facebook or myspace I think your best bet would be contacting your old school to see if they had any contact information they could give out or contacting the newspaper. If you know her first and last name it shouldn't be too hard to find her. If you do talk to her try to be as gentle about the subject of her abuse if you decide to bring it up at all. If she is unwilling to talk about it I wouldn't push the subject. In that case I would simply remind her that if she ever does have anything she needs to talk about you are there for her. I know everyone reacts differently but I personally would have a really hard time talking with a boy about the abuse I went through. This is probably due to the fact that I trust all men/boys so little and your friend might have a similar mind set after what she's gone through. I wish you the best of luck in finding her and I hope everything goes well. Take care and best wishes.

Lots of love <3 Mimi



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Re: The Cage - June 2nd 2009, 05:13 AM

There is more to come I am typing up the story and then you can say stuff from there. Thanks for all your help

Pair kept girl inside a kennel, police say- St. Paul couple said it was an effort to discipline her.

Thursday, February 10, 2005.

A St.Paul mother and her live-in boyfriend are accused of locking the woman’s 11-year-old daughter in a chain link dog kennel in a warehouse basement, leaving her cold and, one night naked.

*** and ***appeared in Ramsey County District Court on Wednesday, each charged with two counts of unreasonable restraint of a child, a gross misdemeanor.

*** called St.Paul police Jan. 1 to say she was having problems with her daughter and asked them to remove the girl from their home.

When police arrived they heard the girl screaming.

She told them that Bare locked her in a dog cage, hit her and read her diary.

Child protection officials removed the girl, then talked with the couple about the girl’s allegations, the complaint states.

***, 41, and ***, 34, told officials that on two occasions in 2003 they had locked the girl in a kennel 12 feet long, 3 feet wide and 6 feet high to discipline her and change her behavior, according to a criminal complaint.

They kept the kennel in the basement of a warehouse that Bare rented next door to the couple’s duplex in the 600-block of Snelling Av. N.

The girl was locked in the kennel for three days in August of 2003 when she was 11 years old, and again in October 2003 for a week, Bare told authorities.

During the confinement periods, the girl said, she was let out of the kennel only to attend school and to do chores.

*** and *** were released from jail Wednesday night after *** posted $5,000 bail and *** posted $2,000 bail. Conditions for their release included having no contact with the girl and maintaining regular contact with pretrial release officials. County Attorney *** said she had never seen a case like this in he 20 years as a prosecutor. She said the couple’s actions are deserving of more serious charges, but prosecutors could not find a state law that fit the conduct.

“It’s hard to even comment on a case like this. It’s so incomprehensible that a couple would think that it was OK appropriate to confine a young girl in a dog kennel,” Gaertner said. “I’ve seen all kind of sick human behavior, but not this.”

Allegations against the couple, who have lived in that stretch of Snelling Avenue in the Hamline-Midway neighborhood for many years, shocked neighbors.

“I think it’s horrible,” said ***, who lives next door. “People shouldn’t do that to a child. I have two young children of my own.”

*** County child protection officials said they cannot comment because of state privacy laws.

*** told police that he believed the kennel was a suitable temporary living arrangement for the girl.

He said he put two car seats, a throw rug and a blanket in the kennel and placed it over a floor drain so the girl could urinate while locked up overnight. The girl told authorities that the kennel was cold but not freezing because she had a blanket.

*** said he strip-searched the girl twice because he worried that she was concealing a stolen key to unlock the kennel. He said he forced the girl to spend one night naked in the kennel.

*** said that the confinement was Bare’s idea but that she agreed to it.

She said she observed one strip search of the girl and approved of it. She also said she sat outside the kennel and talked to her daughter in hopes of altering her behavior problems.

***, the neighbor, said *** told her that he was a musician in a band and that he kept equipment in the concrete warehouse or storage space on the north side of the couple’s duplex.

*** rented the warehouse for the past five years and was considered a good tenant.

“I’ve never had a problem with him,” said *** of the Management Matrix, which leases out the warehouse and two adjoining apartments in a duplex on Snelling Avenue. “I knew he had a dog occasionally. I didn’t think there was a kennel.”

Neighbors said the couple had a golden or orange Labrador retriever that they kept in their upstairs apartment or next door in the warehouse space. Neighbors reported seeing the dog often but not the girl. No one reported seeing obvious signs of injury on the girl.

“We’d hear yelping at night when we’d step outside but that’s about it,” said ***, who lives two houses away.

***, a St.Paul Police Department spokeswoman, said police received two previous complaints about mistreatment of the girl. Those were turned over to child protection officials.

One complaint made in June 2003 by someone other than the girl was not similar to the allegations made in the current criminal charges, *** said.

Police received a report in May that the girl had complained of minor physical abuse, but that was not corroborated, *** said.


YOU WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT IS AROUND THE CORNER IF YOU NEVER GO AROUND THE CORNER

Last edited by ForeverAutumn*; June 2nd 2009 at 10:59 AM. Reason: [removing names in article to preserve privacy]
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Re: The Cage - June 3rd 2009, 03:02 AM

What you're doing is completely fine, theres nothgin wrong with wanting to find her and to make sure that shes ok.
i think youre doing the right thing, thats absolutely terrible what her fatehr did to her, and completely ridiculous. Im so sorry you had to read about that, And im sorry she had to experience it. i wish you luck in finding her, and I hope everything works out alright.
:]
   
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