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fadingSCARlet Offline
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Unhappy im worried about my friend - July 1st 2009, 04:03 AM

okay so like i think my best friend is heading down the wrong path.
I've tried helping but she doesnt listen. she's turned to having sex with anyone just for the affection, to feel important i guess? or loved? but i can't help thinking her past has triggered this..
when she was 11, her dad raped her. she told her mom and she didnt believe her. can that be a reason for her to be having sex with almost complete strangers? i love her unconditionally but im worried she's gonna take it too far and something bad might happen. i mean.. she JUST turned 15 in may.

ANY advice would be appreciated.
thanks.
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Re: im worried about my friend - July 1st 2009, 04:24 AM

Hi,

First, I'm glad to say your friend has someone like you who is there to support her and cares her about her enough. You are a good friend for trying to help her.
I think the next step you need to take is to talk to an adult about your friend being raped. I'm glad that she got up the courage to tell her mother and I'm sorry that she wasn't able to get the help she needed. Maybe you could talk to a teacher, neighbor, counselor, or other trusted adult about what happened to you friend. I think that it would be healthy for her to talk to a professional to help her sort out her feelings. She very could well being having sex to feel loved and is using it as an alternative. Try to be there for her and listen to what she has to say. Even if you don't know what to say, listening can make all the difference.
I hope everything turns out alright for you and friend. Remember Teenhelp is here for either of you if you ever need someone to talk to.
   
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Re: im worried about my friend - July 1st 2009, 05:02 AM

There could be many reasons for her philandering.

I'm sorry to tell you, but all you can do for her is really just be there for her and make sure she stays safe. I'm sure you've expressed your concern to her; she knows this, but she's still doing what she thinks she must do. I know the feeling of wanting to be loved... and doing it in all the wrong ways. Let her know there are better ways to find love.

Also... on that keeping safe thing...
Make sure she has everything she needs to stay safe. Condoms, BCP, etc... I doubt she'll do this but she should really make sure the guy she's with doesn't have STD's before she has sex with them =/ (can be done easily at a local clinic).

Unfortunately she'll probably have to learn her lesson on her own... and a lot of pain will come with this. Just be by her side...

Its sad to hear that =/ I hope everything works out!


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Re: im worried about my friend - July 1st 2009, 08:41 AM

thanks for the advicee.


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Re: im worried about my friend - July 1st 2009, 07:08 PM

Hello, it's really sad to hear about your friend in this situation. It is also very sad to hear about her past. It's always hard going through something that traumatizing, and not having anyone believe you. It's great to know that she has good friends like you though. Everybody should have a best friend there for them.
I think that your friend may be going through this phase because she wants to be noticed, or she wants someone to be there for her. She also just may like the way it makes her feel, since in our generation, having sex comes off as "cool."
I would think that with her past, having sex is something she would stay away from. If that happened to me, I would avoid any intimacy becase it would bring back too many memories.
I hope that your friend is just going through a phase. You should talk to her and tell her how you feel.
I hope all goes well.
Sincerely,
Savealife723
(Kayla)
   
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