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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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brittneyTRAGIC Offline
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childhood - September 18th 2009, 05:11 AM

Its been 4 years since my stepdad has went to jail for molesting me .
He did it for 6andahalf year ages 51/2 to 12 , I'm 16 now.
I know that most kids have some type of guilt or blame that they put on their selves and I'm not going to lie and say that I haven't felt guilty cuhs I do out of all of those years I never told and that the main thing that hurts me bcuhs I know I should've .some people say your almost an adult stop blaming other people and all this other mumbo jumbo but how can I ba an adult when I never even had a childhood , he took that all from me I never went to a public school , I was homeschooled most of my life , I never had kids my own age to play with I was never a child , I had to grow up to fast I had to take care of my brothers and sisters and that's just to much for a kid at my age at the time . So I wanna know people say I need to get over it the past is the past but its not easy , I don't know how I'm supoosed to act this man took my life away and I'm supoosed to be all happy , yes I'm angry this man who I loved and called my father hurt me really bad and I know that my life will never be the same .
   
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Re: childhood - September 18th 2009, 03:45 PM

Brittney,

First of all, I would like to welcome you to TeenHelp. I'm so glad that you decided to reach out here; TeenHelp is a place for letting out emotions and gaining support, and it's wonderful that you were able to do this.

I want you to know that how you are feeling is completely valid; what you went through was absolutely horrible, and no one should have to suffer such abuse. While you are recovering from this, try to avoid telling yourself what you should and shouldn't be doing or feeling. Give yourself time to heal. In fact, give yourself time to have the childhood that was stolen from you. You're only sixteen; there's still time to make up for what you have lost. So, let yourself go. Go outside and blow bubbles, draw with sidewalk chalk, play on the playground. Play with dolls and watch cartoons. This all may seem silly and trivial, but I know from experience that it really does help. Simple play is extremely theraputic.

Have you been given time to talk to anyone about what happened? A counselor, perhaps? I know that the idea of opening up about all of this can be extremely scary, but talking about it can help SO much. If you can, I highly reccomend you try to get yourself into therapy. There is no shame in seeking help; it just proves how completely brave and strong you are. Otherwise, talk to whoever else you can; talk to friends, a teacher, a family member. Whatever you do, you need to get this out of your system as much as possible. These scars will never fade, but you can rid yourself of the pain. You CAN recover from this.

Take care of yourself, Brittney. I'm here if you'd ever like to talk about anything.


[/url]
"For the first time
in a long time,
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I feel helpless for the most part,
but I'm learning to open my eyes.
And the sad truth of the matter is,
I'll never get over it,
but I'm gonna try
to get better and overcome each moment
in my own way"

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Re: childhood - September 18th 2009, 09:02 PM

Hey Brittney,
I think for anyone to have a 'get over it' attitude to sexual abuse has obviously never been sexually abused themselves. Everyone gets over abuse in their own time. I think you learn to accept what happened to you but you never really fully get over it. My abuse ended 9 or 10 years ago and you know what I'm still not over it and I don't think I ever will be.

I really feel for you, sounds like you've had it pretty tough.
Unfortunately your childhood is over and it's not fair that he stole that from you.
But one thing you cannot do is spend the rest of your life mourning your childhood because you have the rest of your life to look towards and live.
Having to look after your siblings must have been hard work and not fair on a young girl.

Teenhelp is a good place to come and people will help you to move forward with your life and give you the support you need to help things get easier okay the pain is not going to go away over night but things do get a little easier as time goes on.
So welcome to TH and I'm here if you ever need to speak, rant or yell.
Keep strong!
Paige x
   
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Emily. Offline
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Re: childhood - September 21st 2009, 10:32 PM

Hey there Brittney. You've already been given some really good advice and I just wanted to add my support. I'm really proud of you for getting through all the abuse and for going through the process of getting him put away. It takes a lot of strength to do that.

And hun, try not to blame yourself for what happened. It was in NO way your fault. Your stepfather was an adult and he is the only one to blame for this. He knew better, but chose to take advantage of you anyways. You were young and scared and there shouldn't have been anything to tell in the first place. Adults have a hard enough time talking about abuse, you can't expect yourself as a child to be able to tell.

I know it will be hard, but try and let yourself off the hook. You did nothing wrong hun. And you don't need to be grown up yet. Enjoy the small things in life. Be a kid. You still have a few years before you have to be an adult.

Also, I think you should talk to someone. Like Jessi has said, it can really help and you deserve the help Brittney.

I hope you're doing okay right now and don't give up, okay? My PM box is always open if you need someone to listen.
<3 emily


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but just being right where you are, who you are"

   
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