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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
cryingangel Offline
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help i dunno what i should do - October 18th 2009, 06:24 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of rape or abuse, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I remember
I remember the way it felt
when you forced yourself on top of me
you were in totoal controll me
Your forced yourself in
So I gave up & let you win

I remember the way you looked at me
when I shouted NO
It was as ifyou wanted to show me you were in total control
You pushed harder and harder
as I tried to say NO again
you covered my mouth
so I gave up & let you win.

I remember the sounds you made.
It's like enjoyed it too much to care.
there were other people there
I should of shouted for them
But I was too ashamed and too afraid
they wouldn't believe me
they would say it was my fault
I remember everything you did to me
But don't worry your secrets safe
I'm still afraid
Nobody will believe me anyway
So I give up and I guess you win!!

Last edited by SimplyComplex; October 20th 2009 at 03:36 AM. Reason: Triggering Prefix Added :)
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DomoKay Offline
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Re: help i dunno what i should do - October 19th 2009, 01:41 AM

Hey, hun. First of all, I want to tell you that I am so proud of you for posting this. I knew it took a lot for you to do. But you are one step closer to getting help now.

I know that you are so hurt by this. I can feel your emotions as you wrote. What they did to you was WRONG. It's not your fault at all. Don't blame yourself.

Why do you think that if you tell someone, they won't believe you? Anyone should know that you wouldn't just make something up like this.. I hope you get some better advice from people. Stay strong, dear!

we've escaped our capture

Laugh loudly, sing like no one's listening, dance like no one's watching, stay in the moment, get that adrenaline pumpin', deep breaths, be easy on yourself <3 PM me
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Re: help i dunno what i should do - October 20th 2009, 03:11 AM

Hi there,

You are so strong for coming foward and posting this. You have been through so much, and the fact that you can still have the strength to come forward and talk about it is amazing.

I know that it's hard to live with these memories, it's so, so hard. You must remember that he does not have control over you anymore; what happened is over. You are still in control of your life, and how you cope with this horrific experience. You can do this; just continue to be your strong self, and you will move on.

Have you talked to anyone about what happened to you? Having outside support is vital in these sorts of situations. You could talk to who ever makes you feel the most comfortable; a close friend, a family member, a teacher. Anyone you can trust will do. Also, many sexual assault and rape victims find therapy to be a great way to help them cope with what happened. I know this may be an extremely scary step, but it is well worth it in the end. A therapist will be able to help you understand and control your emotions, and find ways to move on.

Take care, and if you'd ever like to talk about anything, feel free to contact me. I'm always willing to listen. <3

"For the first time
in a long time,
I can say that I wanna try.
I feel helpless for the most part,
but I'm learning to open my eyes.
And the sad truth of the matter is,
I'll never get over it,
but I'm gonna try
to get better and overcome each moment
in my own way"

Motion City Soundtrack, "Even If It Kills Me"
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Emily. Offline
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Re: help i dunno what i should do - October 21st 2009, 11:40 PM

Hey there hun. From your poem it sounds like you are hurting pretty badly right now and I'm so sorry you are having to deal with all of this. Sexual assault and abuse is such a hard thing to get through and I wish no one had to know that pain. I hope you know that what happened was not your fault though. The person who assaulted you is the only one to blame.

I really think you should try talking with someone hun. Friends, family, any adult you trust would be a good place to start. You have already made the first step in writing about it here and I'm proud of you for that, but you deserve support and love while trying to get through this.

Counseling can be a really good thing to try too. It's a completely confidential way to talk to someone. It's scary opening up about something like this, but knowing the person you're talking to must keep it confidential makes it a bit easier.

I'm also going to urge you to get medical attention if you haven't already. I know that's a really scary thing to go do, but you really should get checked out and let a doctor make sure you are physically okay.

I hope you are doing alright at the moment. Please PM me if you ever need to talk and keep yourself safe.
<3 Emily

"Sometimes it's a struggle to be not who you want to be, not who you used to be, not who you're going to be,
but just being right where you are, who you are"

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