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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
here comes trouble =O
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Thumbs down bleh. - October 24th 2009, 04:37 AM

it's been like 5 years...bleh...he's been in the mental institute...he's getting out soon...eccck...i heard he was going stright into prison for 25 years once he is released from the institute...i really hope its true, i can't see him ever again, ever. eck. i just have sooo much inside that i can't talk about, everyone thinks it's a big joke, like i'm lying, they just keep throwing it in my face. it's too much for me to handle if he gets out. just knowing that he is out there sommmewhere makes me sick to my stomach. the drugs made him so crazy he prolly doesn't even remember what he did to me, but i do, every god damn day.
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Re: bleh. - October 24th 2009, 07:07 PM

Hey Brandy,

I'm so sorry about what you have been put through. It's great that you were able to reach out here for help; that takes so much strength and bravery. I'm so proud of you.

Remember, just because he may be released from prison or the mental institution does NOT mean that he can hurt you again. It's over now; you're going to be okay. Of course, it's okay to be cautious. Keep yourself safe; do not travel alone, and make sure that you have a way to call for help should anything happen.

However, do not let caution turn over into paranoia. Not everyone is out to hurt you; make sure that you realize that the world can be a safe place, even though you have been hurt so much. Taking the necessary precautions is fine, but don't let them take over your life, you know?

I know you can get through this. You've already proven your strength by reaching out for help here; you can and will heal from this. Everything is going to be okay.

Take care, and if you need to talk, I'm here. <3

"For the first time
in a long time,
I can say that I wanna try.
I feel helpless for the most part,
but I'm learning to open my eyes.
And the sad truth of the matter is,
I'll never get over it,
but I'm gonna try
to get better and overcome each moment
in my own way"

Motion City Soundtrack, "Even If It Kills Me"
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Re: bleh. - October 26th 2009, 11:35 PM

Hey there Brandy. I'm so sorry you are having to deal with him being released. I can't imagine how hard this must be for you. You are an amazingly strong person hun and I'm glad you reached out.

You said he may be going to prison after his release and I think that it would really help you to find out for sure. If he's an adult it will be public record and you should be able to go to your local courthouse or police station or call the one where he was sentenced and find out. Not knowing what's going to happen is sometimes half the worry.

I really do think you should try talking though Brandy. I know it's scary and it seems safer to keep it all inside, but it only hurts you in the long run. Talking with a counselor could help hun. We all need to get things out and a therapist could help you find healthy ways to deal with what's happened and to cope.

And I hope you know that your friends are wrong to turn what happened into a joke and to throw it your face. What happened to you was horrible and they have no right to laugh about it or use it against you. It was in no way your fault. Is there anyone else in your life you could turn to? Parents or a friend who wont turn what happened against you? You deserve love and support through all of this.

I hope you are doing okay right now and please keep yourself safe Brandy. You can PM me anytime.
<3 Emily

"Sometimes it's a struggle to be not who you want to be, not who you used to be, not who you're going to be,
but just being right where you are, who you are"

  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: bleh. - October 30th 2009, 09:52 PM

i don't really like talking too therapist...i feel like they are judging me the whole time, idk just doesn't feel right to me. i'll be okay, i just like to pretend it didn't happen...just hard when i'm out and his name comes up and i usually start crying because i've been drinking and it all comes back ya know. he just makes me so sick. i know its not my faultttt per say, but i shouldn't have drank that night but i was really upset and she promised nothing would happen to me and i was stupid enough to believe her. i should have just stayed home that night to begin with. i should have been with my mom that night sitting with my grandpa, he died that night, i couldn't tell my mom what happened after that. i felt like it would have been selfish to add to the pain she already felt. after it just got harder and harder to tell...so i just pretended it never happen..it's been years now and it still won't go away. i just wanna forget it. forget him.
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