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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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Should Be Over This. - November 8th 2009, 01:55 AM

I know I should be over getting sexual abused 3 years ago but. Well I probably should give you a little bit of a background first. When I was in 8th grade (Junior in High School Now) one of my best friends touched me and he kept touching me. I told he got exspelled (sorry for spelling). I got "over-it" (I'm still struggling that's why I'm writting). When people touch accidentally like a bump on the shoulder or when someone wants to hug me. I freak out. My heart starts pounding out of my chest. I just want to die. When this happens. I get a gut feeling someone will hurt me. However if it's me that says I want a hug the that's fine. But if somelse does it, it seems like the end of the world. I just wish I can hind and stay away from people. But that would not be healthy I know. I have a therapist but never told her about getting so freaked out. I guess I should but do you have any advise?


   
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Re: Should Be Over This. - November 8th 2009, 04:26 PM

Hey Meg,

It's great that you have decided to reach out here for help during this difficult time. We're here for you; TeenHelp is a safe place. You should not set standards of when to "get over" something; these things take time. You went through a great deal of trauma, and it will take time to come to terms with this and to really recover.

I am so, so sorry for what you went through. That must have been so hard on you, on so many levels. You'd never expect that kind of betrayal from a best friend. It's important to realize, however, that you CAN and WILL recover from this. You can get past this, you just have to stay strong and take it one day at a time.

Fear of physical contact is a completely normal and understandable response to sexual trauma. Perhaps you could speak to your closer friends, explain to them that you need to be the one to initiate physical contact for a while. You do not necessarily have to state why. I also think that speaking with your therapist about what you are going through could help a great deal. She may have better advice on how to cope with such fear...and she may be able to help you work through the root of things, help you to begin to recover from the abuse.

Stay strong, I know that you can get through this. Just remember that you will never, ever be alone. If you'd ever like to talk, feel free to shoot me a PM. Take care.


[/url]
"For the first time
in a long time,
I can say that I wanna try.
I feel helpless for the most part,
but I'm learning to open my eyes.
And the sad truth of the matter is,
I'll never get over it,
but I'm gonna try
to get better and overcome each moment
in my own way"

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Re: Should Be Over This. - November 9th 2009, 10:35 PM

Hey there Meg. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in feeling this way. You were hurt and it's okay that you are having a hard time with being touched. Unfortunately, it's fairly common to have problems like this after sexually abuse.

Don't feel like you ever have to just ďget overĒ this. It takes time to heal and to trust again. Everyone does it at their own pace and in their own way. What happened to you was not right and it was not your fault. You can take as long as you need to heal.

I definitely think you should tell your therapist how you are feeling though. Iím sure she wants to do her best to help you, but unless she knows whatís going on and whatís bothering you, she canít. You can trust again and it does get easier to accept and handle what has happened, but it takes time and hard work.

I know itís scary admitting what youíre struggling with to a therapist, but I have faith that you can do it. You already opened up here. You could always try just printing off your post or writing down whatís going on and giving it to her. Sometimes thatís easier than having to say it out loud.

I hope you are doing okay right now and be good to yourself. You deserve to be treated well. PM me anytime.
<3 Emily


"Sometimes it's a struggle to be not who you want to be, not who you used to be, not who you're going to be,
but just being right where you are, who you are"

   
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Re: Should Be Over This. - November 11th 2009, 12:20 AM

I'm trying to stop thinking about this.But honestly it's so bad I don't know why but it's just so bad I don't want to go to school because I'm afriad someone might touch me. I can't think. If I tell my mom she will either A.) Call me crazy. B.) Think I making a "scene" C.) Get me more help and love me (I need it I admit ) But I can't Please help. I see my therapist Sat.


   
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Re: Should Be Over This. - November 18th 2009, 10:43 PM

I'm really having a hard time this week... He seems to be everywhere I go. I know it probably unintentionally but still I'm afraid. More than ever!... Help!


   
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