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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Mason Offline
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Told - November 13th 2009, 10:09 PM

I told my girls ma what happened. I didnt know what else to do. She is falling apart and I cant stand watching it nemore. She acts like she hates me and I just want to make it better for her. I didnt want this to hap to her and Ive been there for her trying to be understanding but all she wants is to hurt me. I can't take it nemore. She freaked when she found out I told her ma. She punched me in the mouth a few times and kept slapping me and pushing me. I let her take her rage out just stood there, didn't once raise my hand or voice to her. I kept say I was sorry and I loved her. She kept saying she didn't love me, she hates me, never loved me. Told her ma I made it all up cuz I was mad at her for not wanting me nemore and shit. I tried leaving, cant hear that shit. She came at me again, punched me a few times again, her ma got her and held her so I could go. My girl yelled my name, said it like she use too, so I stopped. She said "they fuck better than you." Idk man I'm gonna freak. I seriously wanted to punch her at that point. I don't deserve to be treated like this. I know she it hurt but I cant do this nemore. Its fucking wit my head. I cant sleep. Barely eat. Cant focus in school. Im loosing it. I love this girl.
   
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Re: Told - November 14th 2009, 01:29 AM

it true she is hurting and you did the right thing by telling her mom but right now she really needs some space


lifes full of reasons
with out any
reason that
you have to
find.
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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Told - November 14th 2009, 02:33 AM

Hey Mason, sorry about what happened. Your girl is just confused about what happened so she's lost and can't see the good thing you've done for her. You're right, you didn't deserve that. The pain she's going through must be really bad but heart_of_yang is right, give her some space but watch over her from some distance. When you see she's in need of some help, be there for her. It must be painful what you're feeling but just hold on for her and for yourself.
   
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Re: Told - November 14th 2009, 08:28 AM

Hey there,

I think that you hurt her a lot by telling her mother about the rape. However, I absolutely feel that her mother needed to know if your girlfriend was being self-destructive. Given the situation, I would say that you did the right thing.

I know that this must all hurt so much right now. She has been hurt, and she may want to hurt the ones who abused her back; instead, she is taking out that anger on you. This is not fair; you did nothing to deserve this. But try to realize that your girlfriend is going through what may be the most difficult time of her life, realize that she is not thinking logically or rationally.

While taking care of her is the noble thing to do, it is important to take care of yourself, as well. This may mean that taking space is the right course of action right now; give her time to cool down, to realize that you were only trying to help. Maybe then you can try to piece together this relationship.

Take care. If you need to talk, you know where to find me.


[/url]
"For the first time
in a long time,
I can say that I wanna try.
I feel helpless for the most part,
but I'm learning to open my eyes.
And the sad truth of the matter is,
I'll never get over it,
but I'm gonna try
to get better and overcome each moment
in my own way"

Motion City Soundtrack, "Even If It Kills Me"
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Re: Told - November 14th 2009, 10:53 PM

Im tryin to give her space but Im scared what she will do. She is making really bad choices and if she gets w another guy Ill loose it. Its just so hard to accept this cuz only 2 mons ago everything was fine. Weve been together for a yr and a half well she just recently broke up with me after what happ. But things were real good. She would never ever ever talk to me like this. Shes so diff now. She is cold, distant, angry. I want her back. I feel so fucking helpless cuz all I wanna do is fix this and I cant. Nothing I do will make her better. Just watching her getting drunk almost every night with scumbags. She is all over other guys, touching them and it killssss me. I just wanna bash the guys head in. I cant sleep. I picture what they did to her over and over again instead. It makes me so sick to my stomach, half the time I can't eat. Im failing my classes. I try not to think about it but I see her in school, at her locker with diff guys and I just have to walk by. She always glances at me and its like I dont even know her anymore. How can I get through this she is my world. I have a shitty fucking life and she was the one thing I had. She was the most amazing girl and now I dont know who the fuck she is. I just wanna numb myself cuz I cant take feeling like this. I just want to fix this.

How do I fix this!?!
   
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Re: Told - November 15th 2009, 05:00 PM

Hey, Mason

Telling her mum what happened was brave and you did the right thing - don't forget that. It's understandable if she didn't react well when she found out you told but with time, she'll come to see that you did what you thought was best for her and you wanted to keep her safe. Sometimes it's hard to process things in the heat of the moment, what she needs is time to understand. There will be a day when she thanks you for being there and doing the right thing when she couldn't.

If she's acting this way though, I really think you should talk with her mum again - she needs help, sooner rather than later. Her mum might be able to influence her more than you can. Another thing is to try and talk with her, explain how her actions are making you feel. Talking can go a long way.

And like Jessi said, make sure you're taking good care of yourself as well. Remember that you won't be able to help her if you've stressed yourself out too much or if you've taken on too much at once. I really hope everything works out, take care.





And when you've got nothing left,
say I don't wanna be in love.
I don't wanna be in love.


   
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Re: Told - November 15th 2009, 07:33 PM

She wont talk to me. Everytime I try to talk to her she says something cruel to shut me up. Its getting to the point where I dont even trust being around her. When she says the shit she does it get closer and closer to snapping and Id never forgive myself if I hurt her. But really man I could punch her when she says that shit to me. When I see her in school all over fucking scumbags who just want one thing from her I just wanna slam her against the locker and scream everything I feel. Im loosing it. Im not going to school anymore I cant see her in school with them. Its all I think about in class anyways espically if the guy in that class. Pointless to go. Im just putting her at risk. I cant say 100% that I wouldnt hurt her if I snapped. I talked to one of my friends, hes gonna keep an eye out so no one hurts her while I'm not around. I dont know what else to do. Im gonna talk to her mom tonight maybe. If she isn't home. I dont have anyone else to turn too.
   
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