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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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ayearfromnow. Offline
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My mom beats me. - January 12th 2010, 09:27 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of rape or abuse, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Hi, so I'm coming into these forums and I don't know anyone of you. But I really hope that whoever you are, will take some time to read what i have to write and please, somehow...support and help me.

It's simple. My mom beats me. I'm crying right now as I type this because my mom punched me and trashed and punched my head into the wall. She had to go somewhere but she told me that when she comes back she's going to 'take care of me and my sister' when she comes back. She kicked me two times when she left. I don't know if this is normal or not but I've been beaten all my life, well I suppose for the majority of it. I want to go to some orphanage, run away to someone, I want to find a real mother who says 'i love you' and 'its okay' when I make a mistake. But i don't want my own mom to go to jail. When she hurts me, it doesn't leave any bruises most of the time on my skin, but it sure leaves a mark in my heart. and I keep thinking, 'hey maybe tomorrow she'll hug me and say she's sorry.'

But that tomorrow has not come yet. And i dont know how long its going to take to get there. Just last week, my mom was beating my sister because she forgot to get her form signed. It was the most hurtful thing i have ever seen. I could not bare to watch it, so I ran up to her and held her arm and told her to stop it, that my sister wasn't an animal that she was kicking. But all she did was repeat what i said in a whiny voice, repeating what I said and started beating me up too. She scrathed my face and punched me and threw me to the floor.

And let me tell you this. If you think that emotion torture hurts less than physical torture than you're wrong. Emotional torture is physical torture, and physical torture is emotional torture. What hurts the most is that someone, who fed you milk and watched you grow could do this to you. And I can't always be mad at her for this, because I cannot find any space in my heart to hate her. It doesn't exist.

But I've had enough. It's not only that my mom beats me up everyday it's also that she makes me feel useless. She says that I'm not good enough, that I'm a burden no matter how hard I try to impress her. She says I'm dumb even though I fulfilled her wish of getting into an enhanced program called, 'IB'. But I'm not doing so well in math, I have a 53%, and I don't study a lot and neither do I like to study. My mom says she's just 'waiting' (aka going to beat me up if I don't get a really good grade) for my results and after every time she says that, she slaps me. Right across the heart.

She blames me for everything and she always fakes it easy when my dad is home. That's the only time she doesn't hurt me physically - in front of my dad. But my dad only comes home once a week because he goes to the US as he's a truck driver. Yes, we are poor but money means next to nothing to me.

I don't know what to do. I get beat up the most in my home. And it also hurts to see that my siblings always stare at it. I vowed to myself though, I will never hurt my babies like this. Ever. I will read them bedtime stories and share secrets with them, I will hug them when their sad and tell them it's okay to cry.

I am cut from the inside. Ripped like an open skeleton. My heart is gone. Nothing makes me smile. Rarely. And only momentarily until it gets taken away from me. My mom is probably coming home soon so I should conclude.
I need help, I need support, I don't know where to go. God, help me. God, help me. Please. Please Please. Anyone.....im begging you ... make it stop.

Last edited by Casey.; January 12th 2010 at 10:27 PM. Reason: Marked as triggerimg, just incase.
   
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Re: My mom beats me. - January 12th 2010, 10:11 PM

I was about two paragraphs into a reply to this when the power went out. I'm back up and running now, so here goes.

Tell somebody. Anybody- an aunt, uncle, trusted friend, grandparent, cousin, grandparent... you could call Social Services (Child Protective Services) or even the police in this situation, too. I would not advise waiting until tomorrow to tell your principal or teacher at school, although, if you don't tell someone tonight, that is another option. The important thing is that you tell someone and get help. Your mom is not safe to live with. Maybe, before she gets home, if she's not home yet, leave. You and your sister could go to a friend or relatives and call the police or C.P.S. from there. Stay there until you get help.

This is not a safe situation for you and your sister to live in. Nobody should have to go through this. It's definitely not fair, and it's definitely not right. Tell somebody. Get help before it gets worse. I'm really sorry if I should mean/pushy/commanding in this post. I feel very strongly about child abuse.

Best of luck to you and your sister, ayearfromnow. I really hope things turn out well. Please PM or VM me if you ever want to talk or anything.
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Re: My mom beats me. - January 13th 2010, 05:37 AM

Hey there,

I am sorry you have to deal with all this hurt but I want you to know that things will be okay. I also want you to know that yo do not deserve any of the treatment you are getting.

Now, I think that telling someone about this is the best thing to do. I know it is a scary thing to do but your safety is so very important and from the things I have read it doesn't seem as if your safety needs are being met.

Do you think you could tell your dad about this? I know it might be hard but if you told him maybe he would help get things straightened out and get you and your siblings to safety.

If you do not feel as if you can tell your dad is there any other relatives or trusted adults you can tell?

Please know that things will be okay and if you ever need someone to talk to feel free to pm me.


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Re: My mom beats me. - January 15th 2010, 11:30 PM

I'm so so very sorry about what you and your sister are going through.
I know you don't want to have her go to jail, but you have to tell the Police and Child Protection Services, otherwise this will never stop. Maybe your mother can see a Psychiatrist while you and your sister go live someplace else? Your mother needs help.
Have you ever tried telling your father about this? I think he needs to know, you just need to file a report and tell someone about this, get yourself and your sister out of that situation as fast you can, or it won't stop.
   
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Re: My mom beats me. - January 17th 2010, 09:04 PM

I am in the exact situation as you except that I am the only demon child, the others are acceptable. You know, I honestly don't know what to say to help you, I am still trying to figure it out myself. I just wanted to let you know that you are not the only one out there.

You are not alone, I am not saying this to put you down and say your case isn't important; I am saying this to lift you up here to stand beside me so that we can survive this together. Message me any time.

I just want to tell you from experiences, anyone who would do that to you is not worth any part of you... honey, never harm yourself because of her.


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Re: My mom beats me. - January 18th 2010, 12:41 AM

Hey there,
Sounds like you have been through a lot. No one deserves to be put in a situation like yours. Don't give up hope though. You will get through this and you and your sibling(s) will be okay. But you need to gather up the courage and strength to tell someone. Just like Meaghan said, whether it's a family member, friend, or someone at school, just tell someone. I'd also like you to find the number for your country and call them. Use this Hotlines link to find the number. If you are reading this while your mother is home, store the number in your phone until she leaves. Stay strong, it's going to be ok. If you ever need anything, PM me please. Even if you just want to say hi.
Take care,
Alessa


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Re: My mom beats me. - January 19th 2010, 02:58 AM

If you want to, call the child authorities in your country. Because your mother is too far into this to be talked to. She simply won't listen. You need to call the authorities. Whatever advice we can give you here won't go too far as your mother is the one who needs advice and help. So I suggest you call the authorities as this is something you need to do.
   
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