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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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dudette Offline
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Advice? - January 19th 2010, 08:52 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Hi there everyone,


I have a slight problem, I guess you could say.
I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this thread, but I'll type it here anyway.

For 1 year and 8 months, I was engaged to an abusive partner.
I was admitted to hospital several times for the extreme abuse that I would go through. I told a friend, and I had my friend call him a year ago, its nice to have a guy friend at this point if your female! So my ex admitted to being sexually and physically abusive towards me.

He's now left me, and I have fallen apart, after a suicide attempt I was admitted to a hospital and had to go through physcological examination, I lied to why I did it, and the truth is, I did it because I was emotionally battered, I loved him? I know its strange, to think 'Oh but he did XYZ' however I did. I am battered, from coming out of this relationship. I feel alone, I feel depressed and I feel terrified. I was there for him constantly and he left me in the hospital. My ex fiance, the man I was supposed to marry, left me hooked to IV's in a hospital.

I met up with a guy, and he could not keep his hands off me, I was petrified,
I'm worried I can't trust males anymore, I have most male friends. And I feel secure around them, but I want to move on, I don't like being alone.

: (


Many thanks for reading, and advice would be appriciated.
I think I just need support.
   
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Through-Glass Offline
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Re: Advice? - January 19th 2010, 10:09 PM

Hey there,

What you have gone through was traumatizing, and it's no wonder that you've been left feeling depressed and alone. However, try to realize that you will never be truly alone. You will always have all of us here at TeenHelp, as well as your close friends and family. The support is there; you just have to decide to reach out and take it.

It's okay that you still have feelings for this man. After all, you did love him, and feelings to not change that easily. It's important, however, to understand that what he did was not okay. If he truly loved you, he would never, ever hurt you in those ways.

Give yourself time. You will be able to move on; but this takes time, and you will need to come to terms with everything that you have been put through before you are truly ready to move on. You will be able to trust again, as well...but again, give it time. It does not seem that you have been out of this relationship for very long. It will take time for these wounds to heal, you must be patient.

Take care, and if you need anything, just let me know.


[/url]
"For the first time
in a long time,
I can say that I wanna try.
I feel helpless for the most part,
but I'm learning to open my eyes.
And the sad truth of the matter is,
I'll never get over it,
but I'm gonna try
to get better and overcome each moment
in my own way"

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Jacksonian Offline
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Re: Advice? - January 19th 2010, 11:55 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Spazola View Post
.............
It's okay that you still have feelings for this man. After all, you did love him, and feelings to not change that easily. It's important, however, to understand that what he did was not okay. If he truly loved you, he would never, ever hurt you in those ways.

Give yourself time. You will be able to move on; but this takes time, and you will need to come to terms with everything that you have been put through before you are truly ready to move on. You will be able to trust again, as well...but again, give it time. It does not seem that you have been out of this relationship for very long. It will take time for these wounds to heal, you must be patient. ............
Jessi said what needed to be said very well.
   
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Casey. Offline
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Re: Advice? - January 20th 2010, 02:07 AM

Hey there,

I also agree with Jessi. It's okay to still love him, but if he truly loved you, he would not have hurt you, and he wouldn't have left you in the hospital. I know how hard it is to let go sometimes, but you got to let him go. Otherwise you'll be afraid of men for the rest of your life.

All men won't hurt you. Some will, but it takes time to find the right person to be with. Give yourself time, okay? Don't rush into a relationship, and let them know if something bothers you, or if you need to take it slow. You've been through a lot, and you need time to heal.

If you need anything, don't hesitate to pm me.


She whispered to her own reflection "I will be strong."

"I am not what has happened to me.I am what I have chosen to become."- Carl Jung

"If ye harm none, do as ye wish."

Sometimes things just happen.


Smile through the tears.


PM me

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