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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
The Kira Offline
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Exclamation Am i being abused? - February 15th 2010, 03:32 PM

So there is this guy, my bf's friend. Well, not really friend, they hang around the same people and he is really starting to drive me crazy. I mean, I told my bf about it once and he got into a fight with this guy, after which i didnt tell him anynore because I dont want him to baby me. I am trying to cope somehow, but here is what's happening

My bf is gone a lot now because his brother is in the hospital, he got into a car accident which messed him up really bad, so Tommy is with him most of the time. I hang around his friends which are also my friends now. They are all about Tommy's age (16-19 years old). But this guy, Pres, he is the one driving me insane! He tells me he likes me and that I will be his like in a joke way. An obnoxious joke way, like he sounds like the evil joker. I'm really scared of him. A while ago into a stcky situation at the movies with him. But Tommy's best friend was there to protect me and he drove me home. But now he is all over me when Tommy isn't there. Like grabbing my wrist (which really hurts a lot) and when I tell him to let go he just laughs like a retard. Yesterday he did this again and I got really mad and screamed "LET GO". But he pulled me really close and like, wraped his arms around me from back and he lowered his face so we were cheek to cheek and said "or what"? Then he let go left.

My question is this: is this abuse? and what can I do about it?
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Re: Am i being abused? - February 15th 2010, 04:32 PM

I wouldn't consider this abuse unless he actually does something sexually to you. But he did threaten you, which is the path to abuse. Try to avoid him at all costs. Don't go out with a group that he's with too. Stay away from him so he doesn't get the idea of abusing you.
   
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Re: Am i being abused? - February 15th 2010, 05:11 PM

How he's treating you is still inappropriate. Although he's your boyfriend's friend, it may not hurt to let your boyfriend know or to make sure that you aren't left alone with him. His behavior is dangerous and could get worse down the road, the best thing you could do for yourself is get it taken care of now.
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Re: Am i being abused? - February 16th 2010, 04:00 AM

Hey Melody,

How he's treating you is not right, and it needs to stop. Talk to your boyfriend, or even to the guy who was watching out for you the other day. Or you could tell an adult, but let someone know that he is hurting you and threatening you.

Try to not be alone with him, and try to stay with the other guys when you are with him. Just stay away from him and try ignoring him. I know it's hard, but if you don't feed him, he might leave you alone.The best thing you can do is to tell someone.

Take care.


She whispered to her own reflection "I will be strong."

"I am not what has happened to me.I am what I have chosen to become."- Carl Jung

"If ye harm none, do as ye wish."

Sometimes things just happen.


Smile through the tears.


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Re: Am i being abused? - February 16th 2010, 06:56 PM

I cant really tell an adult, my mother wouldnt understand about my bf, let alone his friends. They are the type of people she would call "a bit on the wild side". She has "forbiden me " to date until the age of 17, which I think is stupid as hell.

But telling my bf would spoil the friendship and I dont want to be a burden. He is overprotective and, I mean, i like that but I would feel terrible if his friendship would be ruined because of me...
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Re: Am i being abused? - February 17th 2010, 02:55 AM

You should tell the School Principal about this if he goes to School with you, or threaten to tell the police on him if he doesn't back off. If he continues to do this when it hurts you and you don't want him to, I kind of consider it abuse.
   
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Exclamation Re: Am i being abused? - February 23rd 2010, 01:01 AM

dont talk to them ever seriously you are going to get hurt take this as a *WARNING!!*my brothers abused it starts off not bad but it gets worse!
   
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Re: Am i being abused? - February 23rd 2010, 01:05 AM

Not abuse, but its not good and could be the beginning, tell your BF! Regardless of what happens between them!
   
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Re: Am i being abused? - February 25th 2010, 02:06 AM

I told my bf, but they just started beating the shit out of each other... I feel like a damn burden =(
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Re: Am i being abused? - February 25th 2010, 03:59 PM

Melody, please don't think you're a burden. All you were being is being the girlfriend of your boyfriend, that's it. It was HIS friend's fault for being disrespectful to you and your boyfriend, HE was the one that was making the moves on you, HE was the one with the retarded laugh, HE was the one putting the friendship between him and your boyfriend at risk when he started putting advances on you. If anyone's a burden, it would be HIM being a burden to your boyfriend, because you just don't start hitting on your best friend's partner.

I hope this post helps you realize that you're not in the wrong for telling your boyfriend.
   
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Re: Am i being abused? - February 27th 2010, 07:26 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Kira View Post
I cant really tell an adult, my mother wouldnt understand about my bf, let alone his friends. They are the type of people she would call "a bit on the wild side". She has "forbiden me " to date until the age of 17, which I think is stupid as hell.

But telling my bf would spoil the friendship and I dont want to be a burden. He is overprotective and, I mean, i like that but I would feel terrible if his friendship would be ruined because of me...
You are 14yrs old so this guy will use that to his advantage. To me your mother's advice is sound in order to protect you and make sure you grow well, so i suggest you follow it and secondly hanging around this group of friends doesn't seem like a good idea based on your mother's description. So don't stay with this group. And also if things continue you should tell your boyfriend.

On second thought after reading your most recent response, I am on your mother's side. Perhaps you should leave this group.


I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.

Last edited by Jacksonian; February 27th 2010 at 07:28 PM. Reason: addition
   
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The Kira Offline
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Re: Am i being abused? - March 1st 2010, 08:55 PM

I did... I broke up with my bf...
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Re: Am i being abused? - March 3rd 2010, 01:17 AM

Hello there again. How are things going now ? If they aren't going well talk to your parents. And don't worry, you shall find someone when it is the right time. Don't be in a hurry.


I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.
   
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