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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
lost_chil Offline
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Exclamation How long after can... - April 3rd 2010, 06:24 PM

How long after an event can one charge/tell police/do anything about something...?

Let's say back in either 02 or 03, between say a 7-8 year old being told, forced, to please his 6-7 year old cousin by sexual activities... 3 times, over the course of 2 weeks... Activities such as sex, playing around, oral, etc... Also being touched, and raped by that same 6-7 year old...?











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Last edited by Emily.; April 6th 2010 at 05:11 AM. Reason: removed prefix to fit new quidelines
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: How long after can... - April 3rd 2010, 07:58 PM

Hey There,

I'm not entirely sure, as it differs from country to country, however, such serious allegations as this will no doubt get attention. It may be difficult to prove, but if both people remember the event, and are happy to work together and talk about it then I think you would have a fair chance of prosecution.

I hope this helps,
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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
lost_chil Offline
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Re: How long after can... - April 3rd 2010, 08:12 PM

She will deny it til the day she dies. And her mom who walked in on us will not prosecute her own daughter. Therefore, my witness is falsefied...

I have no evidence from this event. My cousin destroyed it all. Therefore, no evidence, no witness. The only person who knows about this who would do anything is me...











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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: How long after can... - April 3rd 2010, 09:02 PM

i dont think there is a limit but it mayb hard to prove
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: How long after can... - April 4th 2010, 04:57 AM

I know it the states, there is no longer a limit on how long after it can be, even if it's years later you can press charges. The only problem you might have is proving what happened, but it's worth a try.


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  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: How long after can... - April 4th 2010, 03:03 PM

You can report something like this at any time, how ever the longer you leave it the harder it is to prove. I'm really sorry I know what it's like to be abused, but unless you have any evidence, you don't have a case. But my thoughts are with you (gosh I sound like a priest or something) x


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Re: How long after can... - April 5th 2010, 03:54 PM

I waited 3 years before I reported my rape.. and since I didn't have much evidence, he didn't get a long time in jail.



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Re: How long after can... - April 6th 2010, 01:24 PM

Ya... there is no chance I have a case here... Fuck... But at least I now know why I hate intamicy, not kissing, but like everything "in the bedroom" type thing... How can I cope? I am not in a relationship at the moment yet... But I am hoping to...

Nice toknow I have no case though... Umm...

Is this rape? Or no? Was this right?

I know it's my fault because I dind't tell anyone untill now... I forgot about it untill a few days ago... But it explains so much... haven't talked to her pretty much since the incident aside from "hi" when they were over... I just can't believe I let it happen... I cant' believe this, I should have said no. I should have stood up for myself... I said no, but it didn't doanything... She just kept going and going...











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  (#9 (permalink)) Old
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Re: How long after can... - April 6th 2010, 04:42 PM

Dont be too hard on yourself, you wern't of the age to know what it was wrong, and often people are too scared to speak out after the actual event.
I don't think what happened is rape - but it is wrong.

And your right, it can and does affect relationships. When something happened that I didnt want to happen - it took me a long while to understand and accept relationships. You just need to find someone who is patient and who can help you through things slowly


I'm still alive.
Must have been a miracle
It's been one hell of a ride
Destination still unkown
It's a fact of life: If you make one wrong move with a gun to your head
You better walk the line or you'll be left for dead.


I'm a runaway train on a broken track
I'm the ticker on the bomb that you can't turn back
Thats right.
I got away with it all and I'm still alive.
Let the end of the world come tumbling down.
I'll be the last man standing on the ground
As long as hot blood runs through my veins
I'm still alive.
   
  (#10 (permalink)) Old
lost_chil Offline
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Re: How long after can... - April 6th 2010, 05:00 PM

It wasn't rape? I was forced to please her, and she pleased me by force. Yet it's not rape? Wow... I guess the law is a little different then I thought it was...

As for getting over it, I can't... It's hard... I can't think of anythign but when I think of a physical relationship... I am so scared I can't even tell the one I really like, maybe even love, how I feel because I know deep down that it might happen again... I am scared... Thats how I've seen relationships all my life, and thats what happened to me at that age... I am really scared...











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  (#11 (permalink)) Old
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Re: How long after can... - April 6th 2010, 05:58 PM

Weel, here in th UK rape is commonly know as the definititon '..... assult by penile penetration''. So girl on girl couldn't be rape. However, it may be different in the states??

Honestly - I do understand how you fee. I've felt the same as you, and although my situation wasnt as bad as yours and can still relate to the emotions that you feel.

I found that, when I found my current boyfriend I could trust him enough to tell him what happened, and since then he has talked me through it, taken things slowly - and although I'm still not 100% happy with many things, I'm heading in the right direction. Which how I feel - if you were to find someone you trussst, the same could happen with you.

It all takes time, how do you feel about talking to a therapist or someone - someone that can help you through things?


I'm still alive.
Must have been a miracle
It's been one hell of a ride
Destination still unkown
It's a fact of life: If you make one wrong move with a gun to your head
You better walk the line or you'll be left for dead.


I'm a runaway train on a broken track
I'm the ticker on the bomb that you can't turn back
Thats right.
I got away with it all and I'm still alive.
Let the end of the world come tumbling down.
I'll be the last man standing on the ground
As long as hot blood runs through my veins
I'm still alive.
   
  (#12 (permalink)) Old
lost_chil Offline
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Re: How long after can... - April 6th 2010, 06:07 PM

I am NOT going to a therapist or anything. I can't tell him, he woudl not believe me, say I am begging for attention, some bull shit... I don't trust him enough, and I don't trust anyone enough aside from my best best friends, and TH because it's annomynos(SP)

I don't know what the "technical" definition is though... but I remember reading that ANY force to make one participate in sexual acts or something... At least thats how I think it shoudl be.











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  (#13 (permalink)) Old
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Re: How long after can... - April 6th 2010, 09:11 PM

Hey there. I'm sorry you have had to go through something like this. I know it can be really hard. I do think what happened was sexual abuse, but because of the age she was I don't think it's something she could ever be prosecuted for even if you did have evidence.

This is the definition of sexual abuse listed on one of the TH stickies:
Quote:
Sexual abuse is sexual contact with any person without consent of that person, or any type of sexual contact between an adult and child.
I think the best thing you can do for yourself now is to get some help and talk about it. I know seeing a therapist can be really scary and it's hard because you do worry about them believing you, but you deserve that help and support. I was abused by a younger cousin as well and I understand what it's like to think people wont believe you.

I hope you're doing okay right now. Please feel free to PM me if you ever want to talk. Be good to yourself.
<3 Emily


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  (#14 (permalink)) Old
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Re: How long after can... - April 7th 2010, 11:23 PM

I don't even know how I COULD ask for help though... I know no one is going to believe me, and if I tell anyone, my family is going to hate me for bringing that up again... And my cousin will make my life living fucking hell...











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  (#15 (permalink)) Old
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Re: How long after can... - April 8th 2010, 02:30 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by lost_chil View Post
I don't even know how I COULD ask for help though... I know no one is going to believe me, and if I tell anyone, my family is going to hate me for bringing that up again... And my cousin will make my life living fucking hell...
You don't have to tell them why you want help. You can just say that you are having troubles dealing with some things and you would like to see a therapist for awhile to help you work through them.


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  (#16 (permalink)) Old
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Re: How long after can... - April 8th 2010, 01:25 PM

I mean I don't know how I could tell the therapist I am seeing... I know he will not believe me... No one does...











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  (#17 (permalink)) Old
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Re: How long after can... - April 9th 2010, 04:51 PM

If your therapist doesn't believe you then you need to see a different therapist. If your family doesn't care about that this happened to you and even persecutes against you for being the victim to this then I think it is time to cut them out of your life and seek a path anew. It is my impression here that their presence and your fear of being bullied by them might itself be what is triggering the recurrence of these memories and your bad thoughts. So it may be in your best interests to seek emancipation and stay with your true friends. It is a radical idea, I know, but I wouldn't suggest it if I didn't believe it would help. You have been very strong through this and we are here for you.
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