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NoMasks Offline
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Friend Raped by her Cousins - May 30th 2010, 03:04 PM

I noticed on her FaceBook page that she posted she was uneasy, when I texted her asking why, she said she was avoiding certain people in her house that were there for her nephews birthday. Well eventually she told me that her 3 cousins + friends of theirs were abusing her from age 4 to 11 and that shes been getting messages saying that when they get her alone they will do it again and that if she tells anyone she "wont see the light of the next day", and last night it happened again when she and a female cousin slept outside in a tent, both of them were abused, my friend is now age 15 and her female cousin is 16, the ones who abused them are age 20 17 and 14, and I have been trying to get her to tell her father, I want her to tell him quickly so that there may still be a chance for a rape kit to prove it because in most cases there is little evidence left behind to prove it, but she is hesitant because she is afraid and I don't want to betray her trust, but I also realize that her safety is more important, and I too was once a victim of molestation so I know what it feels like (I never told anyone, and it happened to me over 8 years ago) but Im not the concern here, I just dont know whether to try and tell her father the police or still try to get her and her cousin to tell.

Last edited by NoMasks; May 30th 2010 at 03:29 PM. Reason: grammar clearancy
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Re: Friend Raped by her Cousins - May 30th 2010, 04:05 PM

I would try to talk to her one last time to try to convince her. And when you talk to her if she says that she still does not want to tell anyone, first suggest to her that you can be the one who tells and she can just be there with you (sometimes its just hard to have to say the words- so if you said it it might be easier). If that doesnt work, then you should tell her that you cant let this continue and that you know that she might be upset with you but thats something that you are willing to risk because of how much you care about her. And tell her that you have are going to tell someone (her father, the police, both). I would tell her before telling someone, almost to prepare her (unless you think that would cause her to do something dangerous to herself- I dont know the girl so Im not sure how she would react). So yeah, give her one more chance to do it on her own. And then tell her that you have to tell someone and try to convince her to at least be present when you tell someone. Honestly, you really cant sit back and not say something to someone when you know this information. First of all because your friend is being abused and you should help her. But also because if you didnt do anything, you know that it would eat away at you and you would probably feel bad about not doing anything.
I hope that she is able to ask for the help or at least be there when you tell someone for her. I wish you the best of luck and I hope that everything goes well. Remember, she may be mad and upset with you if you tell someone, but deep down she will be thanking you because you are doing the right thing.
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Re: Friend Raped by her Cousins - May 30th 2010, 04:10 PM

As you said it is already eating away at me, as she told me on Friday about this and it happened again last night I feel like I have failed her and her cousin. Okay I will take your advice, thank you. I know I wish I had told someone about what happened to me but its not that I was too scared but just too embarrassed. Thank you.
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Re: Friend Raped by her Cousins - June 1st 2010, 02:16 AM

Alex, you can't force her to tell someone, and it is not your fault that it happened again. Her cousins should know better. But you can keep talking to her, and supporting her. Also, as Karyn said, you can report it, or talk to her dad, if you feel comfortable doing so, but make sure your friend is aware that you will be doing so

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